Questions - From an Outsider.

[deaddirty]

Just back from week away.
Nilsen was a UK killer, killed young guys mainly to stop them leaving him, then undressed the bodies - he strangled them (with hands, ties, whatever), so most of them had pissed and soiled themselves. Don't think he ever had full sex with the bodies, but he lay with them, sometimes came on them.
Andhe made drawings of the bodies. Book is by a priofessional writer, but based on very long interviews with Nilsen, and with a psychaitrist - there's a lot of info in it, including four of Nilsen's drawings - here they are.

 

[StrikeList]

Hey there, Daniel. I'm Jean. Nice to meet you.

Sorry you ran into a disagreement so early in your search for answers. What is a human but a seeker of knowledge? I like this thread, so this is my attempt at keeping it alive and keeping you here.

1. When did you realize the site of gore/death turned you on?

When I was in elementary school, about age 8, I was on a sort of 'suicide watch' because I would cut myself and lap up the blood. When I was further hospitalized, they told my guardians it was a sort of hematomania acquired from a trauma I've suffered. So since I could no longer taste blood, I'd search for alternatives (that, of course, being sight) so I turned to the Internet. At first I just found corpses fascinating. After a while (I'm talking years) I began to find myself getting off to them. To this day I believe it was an acquired taste. I also found out I was gay that way. Go figure. lol

2. Have you ever actually had sex with a deceased person?

No. But even if I had that opportunity and could get away with it without penalty, the most I would do is thoroughly feel the corpse. Nuzzle, stroke, kiss, lick, really rub their scent off onto myself. Not so much the sex. I'd just gently love them and shower them with affection.

3. Do your friends know you have these desires?

Yes. Pretty much all of them. They certainly don't share my feelings toward corpses, but they accept me as the weird-ass kid they've grown to love. xP

4. Your partner? Your family?

My boyfriend knows. My family doesn't matter.

5. If yes, what do they think of it?

My boyfriend thinks I'm a weirdo. Teehee.

6. Would you ever kill to fulfill an ultimate fantasy if you could get away with it?

No. It wouldn't really have the same effect.

7. When you masturbate, do you picture your own death, or making love to another person who is dying?

When I do fantasize about it, I imagine doing a VERY injured male or mutilated corpse. Whether they're dead or dying really depends on my mood.

8. What specifically turns you on when you see gay necro porn?

Hm. I never really considered it porn before. Weird. Anyway, I find it very difficult to get off to a clean corpse (drowning, hanging, etc.) because I lean more to the gory side. If there's no blood, I can't really apply myself into the situation.
9. Do you work or desire to work in a field where you can be around injuries, gore, or death on a usual basis?

Nah. I'm an Animation student and art is a category in which I'll stay for as long as I live.
Jeez, I like answering questions. Don't you? Just love it. Not too sure why.

Good luck on your studies, mate.

 

[ArrowMan]

PieMan, I ask you to consider DELETING this slanderous post

Hey there, Daniel. I'm Jean. Nice to meet you.

Sorry you ran into a disagreement so early in your search for answers. What is a human but a seeker of knowledge? I like this thread, so this is my attempt at keeping it alive and keeping you here.

1. When did you realize the site of gore/death turned you on?

When I was in elementary school, about age 8, I was on a sort of 'suicide watch' because I would cut myself and lap up the blood. When I was further hospitalized, they told my guardians it was a sort of hematomania acquired from a trauma I've suffered. So since I could no longer taste blood, I'd search for alternatives (that, of course, being sight) so I turned to the Internet. At first I just found corpses fascinating. After a while (I'm talking years) I began to find myself getting off to them. To this day I believe it was an acquired taste. I also found out I was gay that way. Go figure. lol

2. Have you ever actually had sex with a deceased person?

No. But even if I had that opportunity and could get away with it without penalty, the most I would do is thoroughly feel the corpse. Nuzzle, stroke, kiss, lick, really rub their scent off onto myself. Not so much the sex. I'd just gently love them and shower them with affection.

3. Do your friends know you have these desires?

Yes. Pretty much all of them. They certainly don't share my feelings toward corpses, but they accept me as the weird-ass kid they've grown to love. xP

4. Your partner? Your family?

My boyfriend knows. My family doesn't matter.

5. If yes, what do they think of it?

My boyfriend thinks I'm a weirdo. Teehee.

6. Would you ever kill to fulfill an ultimate fantasy if you could get away with it?

No. It wouldn't really have the same effect.

7. When you masturbate, do you picture your own death, or making love to another person who is dying?

When I do fantasize about it, I imagine doing a VERY injured male or mutilated corpse. Whether they're dead or dying really depends on my mood.

8. What specifically turns you on when you see gay necro porn?

Hm. I never really considered it porn before. Weird. Anyway, I find it very difficult to get off to a clean corpse (drowning, hanging, etc.) because I lean more to the gory side. If there's no blood, I can't really apply myself into the situation.
9. Do you work or desire to work in a field where you can be around injuries, gore, or death on a usual basis?

Nah. I'm an Animation student and art is a category in which I'll stay for as long as I live.
Jeez, I like answering questions. Don't you? Just love it. Not too sure why.

Good luck on your studies, mate.

What is going down here?

Looks like Jean is writing the questions for Dsyn and THEN ANSWERING them for Dsyn.

IF not, then the questions would be asked by and then Dsyn would answer them under his own avatar...not all under Jean's same post.

Jean, are you trying to mock, to be sarcastic to Dsyn? Is this some attempt to be funny?

Whatever, makes no sense, and is really NASTY to Dsyn and slanderous.

PieMan.....this particular post is so mean and untruthful, I bring it to your attention to DELETE IT.

 

[Meatpie]

we don't delete/edit what our users post. Only in really really extreme cases.

 

[ArrowMan]

we don't delete/edit what our users post. Only in really really extreme cases.

OK, Pie....but what Jean wrote is all BS about Dsyn, just so you other guys out there all know it is all PURE CRAP Jean wrote...writing questions for Dsyn, THEN answering the SAME questions HERSELF/HIMSELF in the same post which s/he wrote.


How TOTALLY viciously DEFAMATORY and
L A M E .
:sm (10): :sm (30): :sm (3): :sm (37):

 

[Meatpie]

arrow, I am preparing my documents and I am gonna bring them over to the morgue tomorrow and sign the fucking contract

will I make a mistake?

I can't stop jerking for two days now, four times a day

my cock is sore

I have dry cum

I so want dead guys

so strong a desire

 

[ArrowMan]

arrow, I am preparing my documents and I am gonna bring them over to the morgue tomorrow and sign the fucking contract

will I make a mistake?

I can't stop jerking for two days now, four times a day

my cock is sore

I have dry cum

I so want dead guys

so strong a desire

PIE....
WHAT !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

You are also signing a CONTRACT to work in that beastly infected hellhole of a morgue CRAWLING with rampant deadly infection and virolent air-borne disease??

What kind of contract, that you will work there for XXX number of years ???

PIE, you do not need to do this !!!!

There are very clean and safe morgues and related kinds of workplaces in which you will be able to work ..... you just must be patient and come to the right places where such morgues are operated.

Even being a mortician for the military in TheRaq or TheStan would be SEXCIER and CLEANER than all of this !!

Pie, write to me, private...this is a HORRENDOUS MISTAKE, please, let's talk about this, please, do NOT do this, it is a very ill-conceived decision on your part that will make you deathly ILL and make you so sick we will ALL lose you and I will lose a very CLOSE BUD !!!!

NO PIE, don't DO IT, pa-LEEZ !!!!!!!!!!!!
:sm (22): :sm (46): :sm (50): :sm (37):

 

[Meatpie]

I am desperate Arrow. Do you understand how desparate I am?

Fucking unemployed!

And I am a very sick necro. The one thing I desire and want is to work with dead young naked guys cut their chests and prepare them for funeral.

Once they exposed me to real corpses I can't imagine working anything else.

Morgues are beautiful.

I might get infected yes. I will fucking die but at least I will know that I have achieved my dream...it is so hot touching a real dead guy, seeing his eyes staring into the morgue ceiling, cock relaxed and put on one side, balls hanging, mouth open, feet smelly and legs spread....hairy chest..

Oh jesus christ.


And I will hose them down with cold water, then when they dry up I will have to put clean socks brought by the family.

Most beautiful job ever isn't it.

But those fucking rotters just drive me mad, they are so nauseating I will puke Arrow, I will puke but I won't give up on my dream.

 

[ArrowMan]

I am desperate Arrow. Do you understand how desparate I am?

Fucking unemployed!

And I am a very sick necro. The one thing I desire and want is to work with dead young naked guys cut their chests and prepare them for funeral.

Once they exposed me to real corpses I can't imagine working anything else.

Morgues are beautiful.

I might get infected yes. I will fucking die but at least I will know that I have achieved my dream...it is so hot touching a real dead guy, seeing his eyes staring into the morgue ceiling, cock relaxed and put on one side, balls hanging, mouth open, feet smelly and legs spread....hairy chest..

Oh jesus christ.


And I will hose them down with cold water, then when they dry up I will have to put clean socks brought by the family.

Most beautiful job ever isn't it.

But those fucking rotters just drive me mad, they are so nauseating I will puke Arrow, I will puke but I won't give up on my dream.

:sm (41)::sm (41)::sm (41):

Well Pie........

IT is REAL fucking EASY to have such lusts WHEN YOU ARE HEALTHY and WELL !!!

BUT once you become INFECTED with multiple INCURABLE DISEASES, you will so regret that you did not listen to your greatest bud, The ArrowMan !!!!

"HEALTH is WEALTH"....Pie !!!!

You have US here, you CAN achieve your dream...but remember, my man, YOUR welfare comes FIRST !!!

Not second, not, fifth, not tenth, F I R S T !!!

YOU deserve BETTER than this, you CAN ACHIEVE better than this!!

This is a short-term satisfaction, but in the long-term, you are risking your health and wealth working in such a filthy place as this.......do you know what it is like to have high fevers of 103 F degress PLUS ????

To be so sick all you can do is lay in hospital bed and SHAKE in CHILLS and have all kinds of tubes and needles, heart monitors on you, intravenous Rx, not able eat much, nurses coming in DAY and NIGHT to take your vitals....laying there in that hopsital room, ALONE...and yes, DYING ???

NO CDG, no access to a computer, NO NOTHING but FOUR WALLS, a WINDOW and all this medical equipment and hearing MD's and nurses WHISPER about you OUT in the HALLWAY !

WELL, I KNOW about this, BECAUSE I HAVE HAD IT HAPPEN to ME THREE TIMES now....a few weeks ago, I caught pnemonia, so BAD that I had to lay in hospital like this for FIVE DAYS, two sharp-needled IV's planted deep in my blood vessels in my arm, pumping me 24/7 with STRONG antibiotic and then more by mouth, monitored on life support...could not go back to work for a WEEK, still weak and not feeling good !

AND I was not working in such a filthy morgue ... I got exposed to this by the kind of people I have to work with in my JOB....the down and outters, who are carriers of all kinds of disease.

But I was not exposed to all of this that you will be in this germ-infested virolent MORGUE !!

I COULD NOT LAST A WEEK IN THERE, I would be DEAD in TWO WEEKS with all the NIGHTMARISH BACTERIA and VIRUSES that are just fucking RAMPANT in there !!!

GOD DAMN IT !

WHY ARE YOU SO BLIND to THIS ????????????????????

YOU are HEALTHY NOW, well that is a BLESSING.....and guys who get offed in war, they are healthy, too, they do not suffer like those who become INFECTED..and they are HEROES and honored for their courage!

BUT to be INFECTED and SICK and DYING and ALONE in a STERILE HOSPITAL where only MDs and nurses who WEAR MASKS and GLOVES are able to enter to see you IS SO HORRIBLE!!!!

OH YAH, and you say, "well, if I ever got that sick, I would just kill myself !!!"

WELL, is that what you want??

To be DEAD full of UNSPEAKABLE DISEASE raging through your body ????

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ????????????????

FUCK, I am TIRED of TRYING so HARD to HELP YOU with all of this.

DO what you WANT, FUK, I am TIRED of ALL of this.

YOU could be so much MORE,you are just throwing IT all away for a short-term FUCK and not considering the overall WELFARE of YOURSELF ... and your close buds like ME and the REST of us here, your family and friends, IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU.

FUK, I am THROUGH with THIS.

GO ahead and go in there and become fucking SICK, I can't stop you, WHAT A FUCKING DAMN PITIFUL WASTE of such a STELLAR STUD and BUD as YOU .

I am FINISHED with this, fucking FINISHED with IT ALL !!!!!!!!!!

 

[Meatpie]

I can't be anything in this shithole nation where I live.

My life has fallen apart.

I am really sorry you was sick but you are OK now look to the future no point in getting depressed about past events.

I can't achive anything here, this is not America.

Please stop posting and leave me to die OK?

 

[ArrowMan]

I can be anything in this shithole nation.

My life has fallen apart.

I am really sorry you was sick but you are OK now looko to the future no point in getting depressed about past events.

I can't achive anything here, this is not America

SO WHY the FUCK do you HAVE to STAY THERE in BULGARIA????

Guys COME to the USA all the time, GUYS go to other countries all the time, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO STAY IN THAT COUNTRY OF YOURS YOU SO DESPISE ...

YOU CAN GET OUT !!

I have given you ideas how to achieve this, YOU DO NOT HAVE to STAY THERE !

YOU know that CHICAGOLAND holds MUCH OPPORTUNITY and many CONTACTS for YOU .... with me to help you !!

WHY do you JUST STAY on this ONE PATH, why can't you SEE OUTSIDE the BOX ??

YOU DON'T HAVE to STAY THERE, YOU CAN GET OUT .... yes, it is not easy, it is fearful, it is hard, but there are many good people who will help you, you still have your precious HEALTH...so why BE so MISERABLE and just CONSIGN yourself to DIE with INFECTION in a HELLHOLE like that FUCKING MORGUE IS !!!

YOU DON'T HAVE to take this ROAD to FILTH, DISEASE and PAINFUL, BRUTAL INFECTED DEATH ..you know there are other ways to achieve your dreams .... and REMAIN HEALTHY !!!!!

WHY don't YOU BREAK OUT of that BOX, PIE???

YOU DON'T HAVE TO FUCKING STAY THERE !!!

I GIVE UP !!

DO what you WANT, IT does not HAVE to be that WAY .... and you KNOW IT.

FUCKING SHAME, THAT is what this all IS.

FUCKING DAMN SENSELESS SHAME.

 

[Meatpie]

OH PLEASE.....they will never grant me a visa. I searched all evening yesterday. Do you think I want this life?

If I manage to find an employer in the US they will give me a temp working visa....six months, then I have to renew.

I will be stuck on the same job.

I am so fucked you have no idea you think it is easy.

Your government doesn't want immigrants, they are not even green cards for Bulgarians anymore.

 

[ArrowMan]

OH PLEASE.....they will never grant me a visa. I searched all evening yesterday. Do you think I want this life?

If I manage to find an employer in the US they will give me a temp working visa....six months, then I have to renew.

I will be stuck on the same job.

I am so fucked you have no idea you think it is easy.

Your government doesn't want immigrants, they are not even green cards for Bulgarians anymore.

I KNOW a GUY who is an EXPERT in IMMIGRATION LAW; you could RENEW your VISA, and you CAN find other work.....IMMIGRATION is NOT strictly enforced in the USA like many think, this is not Nazi Germany.

WE have MILLIONS of ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS who cross into the USA every yr across our southern border, from Latin America.

MY TOWN if FULL of THEM; yet THEY GET JOBS, are HAPPY, are building BETTER LIVES.....and THEY DO NOT EVEN HAVE ANY VISAS of ANY KIND !

And the GOVERNMENT HERE in the USA refuses to send them back UNLESS they get into CRIMINAL ACTIVITY here .... which the majority DO NOT.

AND our NEW PRESIDENT is working now to GRANT AMNESTY to ALL LAW-ABIDING ILLEGAL ALIENS in the USA....so how much of a problem is it going to be for YOU with a LEGAL VISA to have it EXTENDED and to find BETTER work in a society that is becoming much more LIBERAL and ACCEPTING as the USA now is ....

...with ATTORNEYS to FIGHT for you TO HELP you STAY HERE, provided you are contributing to the USA and staying out of criminal trouble ??

IT is not as HARD as YOU MAKE IT OUT to be PIE, I am HERE and I KNOW that THERE is a lot more FLEXIBILITY in our IMMIGRATION LAWS than you realize over there.

Epecially with a U S Citizen to SPONSOR you.

IT does not HAVE to be this WAY, Pie...I am telling you ... IF you want to start a better life OUTSIDE your country, YOU CAN.

IT is your CHOICE, but your future does NOT HAVE TO BE in that FILTHY MORGUE that WILL MAKE YOU SICK and KILL YOU, full of AWFUL DISEASES that NO ONE will EVEN WANT to COME ANYWHERE NEAR YOU !

NO ANYTHING but SUFFERING and SLOW, PAINFUL DEATH ! !

WHAT kind of FUTURE is THIS????

LOOK...you are living in HELL like this, you cannot SEE that there IS MORE to LIFE than THIS HELL you are IN ...but there IS.

I AM NOT saying that coming to the USA will be a cakewalk, but it IT CANNOT BE AS HORRENDOUS as the SMELL and STINCH of those ROTTING MELTERS down there in that HELLHOLE MORGUE BASEMENT that BREED MAGGOTS and DISEASE and for sure, painful, unspeakable D E A T H .

AGAIN, it is YOUR LIFE....IT CAN BE MUCH BETTER, I AM TELLING YOU THIS as I see it happen EVERY DAY here for ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS, not to mention those who are HERE LAWFULLY ...and those visas can be EXTENDED.....

IT does not have to be this way.

YOU can DO BETTER, DAMN IT !!!!

 

[Meatpie]

Easier said than done.

 

[ArrowMan]

Easier said than done.

Not EASY, but CAN BE done and is by many every single day here in the USA.

 

[Meatpie]

I will wait until visa restrictions fall OK?

 

[ArrowMan]

I will wait until visa restrictions fall OK?

And in meantime, you are going to SIGN a CONTRACT for that FILTHY MORGUE ??

You could do other work, like I have discussed with you ........ this place is not healthy for you, man.....it is too fucking high a RISK for YOU, for ANYONE....

THINK about it, you KNOW I am RIGHT !

 

[StrikeList]

What is going down here?

Looks like Jean is writing the questions for Dsyn and THEN ANSWERING them for Dsyn.

IF not, then the questions would be asked by and then Dsyn would answer them under his own avatar...not all under Jean's same post.

Jean, are you trying to mock, to be sarcastic to Dsyn? Is this some attempt to be funny?

Whatever, makes no sense, and is really NASTY to Dsyn and slanderous.

PieMan.....this particular post is so mean and untruthful, I bring it to your attention to DELETE IT.

...What? Sorry for interrupting your current conversation, but ArrowMan just thoroughly confused me.

These are questions Dysn asked on the first page of this thread. I answered them without quoting him. I didn't know that was a no-no. Sorry.

It really seems like you're looking for a reason to get me off this site. I only wanted to help Dsyn along on his quest to understanding this sort of thing. It's a shame. I thought you were a respectable fellow, ArrowMan.

By the way, I'm a guy. Sorry for any confusion.

Just had to clear that up. Carry on with your conversation.

 

[ArrowMan]

...What? Sorry for interrupting your current conversation, but ArrowMan just thoroughly confused me.

These are questions Dysn asked on the first page of this thread. I answered them without quoting him. I didn't know that was a no-no. Sorry.

It really seems like you're looking for a reason to get me off this site. I only wanted to help Dsyn along on his quest to understanding this sort of thing. It's a shame. I thought you were a respectable fellow, ArrowMan.

By the way, I'm a guy. Sorry for any confusion.

Just had to clear that up. Carry on with your conversation.

Well, THAT is the REASON for "QUOTES"....isn't it, aka "attribution"? So needless confusion such as this DOES NOT occur??

Give me a BREAK, you should have known better.
:sm (6)::sm (6)::sm (41)::sm (41):

 

[StrikeList]

Oh, mighty ArrowMan, will you ever forgive me?