Hi there! I'm Micky - known to my intensely disrespectful friends as Micky Fudge, or even Mick Mack Fudgelorum - but it's too early to expect you to share my personal pain. I live in Salford, in a region of Mother Britain formerly called Greater Manchester, but now known as the Islamic Republic of Outer Punjabia. I look out of my window and see the rain slanting down on the domes and minarets of my hometown, and I feel that I just don't belong. My personal habits are so non-Muslim, don't you know. They include: pigging out on bacon, eggs and black pudding for breakfast; picking my nose when I think people aren't looking; scratching my nuts when I know that they ARE looking; getting pissed; taking it up the ass... Need I go on? You can all see that I'm a pervy little shit, and while I'm here I hope to make a few pervy little shit friends. But for the moment, nice talking to yous!