Whats the weather like where you are right now


Forum Elite
Elite Member
Oct 7, 2008
Warm and sunny, low 20s C - no complaints at all!

And blessed peace and quiet on the Brexit front, since Chief Nurse Theresa sent all the Asylum staff home to calm down since they were much madder than the patients. On a quiet night you can just hear the Monster Raving Loony Brexit werewolves howling at the Moon - it was the Pink Moon on Thursday so that will have driven them apoplectic so with a bit of luck there will be fewer of them when the home leave is over tomorrow. If I can't get to sleep I try to distinguish the howls:
Jacob Rees-Mogg (the MP for the 18th Century) has a howl like the creak of an antique and slightly distressed staircase in a stately home - specifically the tread which the family and its equally stately and distressed retainers know to avoid, since it is designed to precipitate the unwary guest into a pit of vipers beneath the mansion;
Boris Johnson (the MP for Boris Johnson) howls complete piffle (which is actually his middle name!);
Christopher Chope (the MP for Up Skirting, formerly known as Christchurch) has a howl like an upper-class yahoo who has just been told that date-rape is now a crime rather than an accomplishment.
It was the Queen's 93rd birthday yesterday, so of course they fired a 42-gun salute today (don't ask - this is the Asylum after all!). I assume John Bercow (the Speaker of the House of Commons) gave her an extra-special prezzie, since he will be petitioning her for the unprecedented secondment of WaspSwatter Royal to the Houses of Parliament to deal with Andrea Loathsome who is nesting under the Government front bench and keeps trying to sting him. As for the rest of the raving bunch of werewolves and undead, if they get beyond all bearing he can deal with them himself by the traditional Speaker's ultimate sanction - to have them dragged to the dispatch box (so that's how it got its name) and impaled on Black Rod.
Oh, and Theresa May is on a walking holiday in Wales so everyone is wondering what seriously bad idea she will come back with this time (last time it was a general election to wipe out the Labour Party, which succeeded in wiping out her own majority and making Corbyn look electable). But we are assured by a senior Cabinet minister (unnamed) that there is very little risk, as it's years since she came up any idea at all.

But the Moon is rising, and I must go ...