Killing Urges

[Meatpie]

I slept with alive guy tonight. I met him on the internet, we went out in the cold, dark night in a horrific Sofia ghetto. He took me to his dirty smelly apartment on the 7th floor.

It was quite an experience.

I live in a good neighbourhood and had no idea he would take me to some ghetto, almost like the Bronx in NYC.

Unfortunately I find jacking off, blowjobs etc boring and I have killing urges when I am close to cute guys. It was the same with my ex.

These thoughts are hard to control. I make sickplans in my head while people think about love and beauty while I dream of death and destruction.

I am one sick fuck.

I would never hurt anyone, just sick thoughts I have and decided to share on this site, I feel better now.

 

[bindiboi]

You're not the only one. But for me it is my own death I think about, can't get off unless I do. There are a few people though that thinking of their slow and painful death gets me hard. One guy named Eric, who is responsible for the break-up of the only person outside of family I have ever loved, and another guy named Nick who got me caught up into drugs and almost turned me against my family a few years ago.

 

[Meatpie]

Thats messed up about Eric and Nick. As I understand it you have suicide urges?

Interesting how you get off on your own death, the human brain will never cease to amaze me.

So do you play dead? Taking photos of yourself on a slab with mouth open?

 

[bindiboi]

No, I don't don't have actual suicide urges although I have fantasized about doing what they do in the movie, Flatliners all the time. (would never do it though, unless it could be done in a medical setting with professionals)
Yeah, I have a hate for Eric and Nick that I didn't know was possible for a human to feel. Especially for Nick. People have told me if it would be worth going to prison for, I never hesitate to say, "YES"!
Kinda hard to play dead while jerking off, LOL. I fantasizes about being on the slab all the time but have no way to take dead naked pics of myself. I would if I had someone who shared my lust though. Then I would be happy to post them here. I am so jealous of those guys from that one site (the name escapes me at the moment) that do all that. I may not have the body they do, but I'd still do that.

 

[Meatpie]

what site? please post the link when you remember it

I am glad you are not suicidal

 

[bindiboi]

It's Morbidtech I believe. I would so love to be one of them!

 

[Zephyr203]

hey meatpie wanna fuck w/ me? imma cute guy!,.

 

[Meatpie]

pic?

 

[morbididea]

I often fantasize about my own death too and have even written a short story

 

[Risley Roper]

My fantasy;Killing Kyle*

*Not his real name,which was actually Geoffrey.
Geoffrey was about 20 yrs old,mixed race,cute,tough face and well muscled.He was straight but regularly visited the flat of a gay man I knew,where he would be entertained with drink,cannabis,various pills,then fucked.(unfortunately not while I was there,and not necessarily while he was still awake).
On one occasion Geoffrey frowned with irritation as he saw me staring at his much improved arms,and then he went on to explain that while in prison the only way he could get a shower was to go for workouts in the gym.
Some years later Geoffrey killed his ex girlfriend and then went back to his flat where he attempted suicide,by the following bizarre and, to me,awesomely erotic way.He cut his neck with a knife with intention of bleeding to death,and to accelerate his blood loss,began to do push-ups frantically.He didn`t die,but was found,rescued and later convicted of murder.
That`s the true bit,my fantasy is that I`d been there when he was doing the push ups and could have encouraged him to work harder,saying `come on Geoff,one more,just another ten`,and so on.Perhaps lifting his chest up when he reached the failure point,and then died.
Had other fantasys of helping him hang himself on his release from prison.He never did me the slightest harm.Could I realy do this given the chance?Don`t know.

 

[Tiff]

I couldn't kill someone with violence probably knock them out or like poison them or like keep them in a room over the garage and let them sleep and die but yeah I am a sick fuck too I guess

 

[NecroHeadfucker]

I would never hurt anyone, just sick thoughts I have and decided to share on this site, I feel better now.

I know how you feel. One time, I was drinking and found a guy who looked like my favorite beheading victim, so I kept buying him drinks and coming onto him so when we got together I was going to stab him and behead him. I kept thinking about that the entire time, how to kill him so I could keep his head (again, like my favorite beheading victim) but then I suddenly came to grips with myself and I realized I planned out a murder and nearly went through with it so I stopped. I would never do that, unless it's an end of the world scenario and in that case I'm going to kill people just so I could fuck their heads.

Anyway, I've done that. Other times I've had fantasies about killing people I work with slowly and painfully. I could do it, fantasize it so much that it's planned out down to the last detail. But, would never do it, afraid of going to prison or being killed by police.

 

[Tiff]

I wanna play with dead people soo badly I fantasize and that shit all the time I wanna work in a morgue or funeral home and sneak in affter hours and play out my fantasies

 

[coldou]

Meatpie

i understand you more than you know

 

[Art Of War]

@MeatPie
IF you know you could get away with it, would you fill full your desires and fantasies?

 

[juniorman]

oh

 

[davi50]

I too fantasize about my own death it gets me off imagining being strangle or hanged

 

[mtndudesf]

I wouldn't mind watching a guy beheading himself with a guillotine. Then I won't have the guilt of having killed. I'd prefer watching a guy beheading another guy with an axe but then I would be a witness to a crime.

 

[TallBlond1]

I make sickplans in my head while people think about love and beauty while I dream of death and destruction.

I am one sick fuck.

I would never hurt anyone, just sick thoughts I have and decided to share on this site, I feel better now.

I can relate, Meatpie. Thing is, during sex our minds can go anywhere. A lot of guys would be shocked to know that the thing that made me actually cum was imagining their bodies decapitated.

 

[cocksucker26]

So HOT Meatpie! would you ever play with me? Young Cutie here =)

I slept with alive guy tonight. I met him on the internet, we went out in the cold, dark night in a horrific Sofia ghetto. He took me to his dirty smelly apartment on the 7th floor.

It was quite an experience.

I live in a good neighbourhood and had no idea he would take me to some ghetto, almost like the Bronx in NYC.

Unfortunately I find jacking off, blowjobs etc boring and I have killing urges when I am close to cute guys. It was the same with my ex.

These thoughts are hard to control. I make sickplans in my head while people think about love and beauty while I dream of death and destruction.

I am one sick fuck.

I would never hurt anyone, just sick thoughts I have and decided to share on this site, I feel better now.