If this is your desire as sober fact (rather than exciting fantasy) you need to think some more, because you might find someone that would do far more than you presently imagine you want. Pain and submission can be directly connected to sexual satisfaction and for some even have a spiritual aspect, but at the extreme end it is more than most people can imagine. Think about limits. Learn what you can take. If you submit to one of the rare men who would take advantage of your extravagant statements you could experience far more than slavery or death and be made to crave a long-delayed end. More than one serial killer has, for example, injected Draino or other caustic chemicals into their victim's voice-box to prevent speech or screams. Starvation, multiple amputations, slow flaying, blinding and worse are possibilities. Burns are horribly painful, but can be almost endlessly repeated without fatal results. I don't deny anyone the right to do what they knowingly want to their own bodies, but an uniformed wild impulse can lead to nightmarish tragedy without accomplishing your own desire.