Killing urges

Maybe it's the Israelis who will attack, by knocking out the Bushehr reactor before it goes on line?
 
Israel does only what the US tells them to do.
 
great self expression alex,
 
Meatpie said:
Israel does only what the US tells them to do.
Click to expand...

Yes, I suppose you're right. And Barack Obama isn't going to tip Israel the nod to have a go at Iran when he's so keen on us loving our Muslim buddies.
 
Hey CJ great advice, you are so right when you say suppression only breeds depression.
 
Alex, there are many young people with fixations on different destructive fantasies. So, your not alone and your not abnormal. You are young and still have a lot learn about yourself and where you fit in. You need to get control of your fantasies. Practice meditation or prayer and learn to calm yourself and clear your mind. Take a yoga class if you like to practice with other people. Learn to control your fantasies and not let them control you. Another benefit to learning self control is being able to extend your erection time. Porn stars learn to be very good at doing this. Otherwise, all the porn videos would only be thirty seconds long ; )

MrAlex said:
CDG is an amazing site! I've been on an journey of self-discovery since I joined a month ago. Pictures like this are what chiefly turn me on:



One of the guys here (who has given me a lot of encouragement and advice) warned me - when I admitted to him that I really powerfully visualized doing this sort of thing to my boyfriend after sex - that I was suffering from 'killing urges'. What he told me about these urges has got me deeply concerned. (Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I want and need to know the truth about myself.) Apparently the pics I like are not merely a turn-on for me, they are images of what I would actually like to do to my boyfriend...

I would rather be DEAD than do this to a guy! In future I will choose my sexual partners only from men who are much stronger than I am and able to defend themselves if I attack them!

What I desperately need to find out is: by jerking over pics like this, am I defusing my urges - giving them a safe outlet? Or are those urges actually being reinforced and strengthened by what I am doing?

Really and truly, guys, I HAVE to find out whether I am safe to be with! If any of you has an observation to make, or advice to give, I would be most deeply grateful.

Alex, who values your insights more deeply than he can say. :secret room:
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Snerdguy, thanks for the kind words!
Your ideas are very interesting. In fact I think I might start off my days in future by going down the park and just standing quiet and still for a few minutes, breathing deeply, listening to the birds, looking at the sky... What do you think? A good way to clear my mind and connect with the good things... Yeah, I might just do that.
 
MrAlex said:
Snerdguy, thanks for the kind words!
Your ideas are very interesting. In fact I think I might start off my days in future by going down the park and just standing quiet and still for a few minutes, breathing deeply, listening to the birds, looking at the sky... What do you think? A good way to clear my mind and connect with the good things... Yeah, I might just do that.
Click to expand...

Yes, that's a good way to do it. When you breath, take deep, slow, deliberate breaths. Then breath out slowly and completely. Stay in control as you breath in and breath out. Start out doing ten before you relax, then add another breath each day until you are up to twenty or more. By doing this, you are teaching your brain to focus more on your breathing and less on your libido.
 
This thread convinced me to make an account.. I really felt I should help if I could. I felt this statement was discarded, It was stated before but just once, don't let this idea go by.

It might help to talk with your doctor. I would start there, and let him give you some professional guidance... You indeed have some issues that need dealing with. Don't wait until it's too late...
 
Wolfric said:
This thread convinced me to make an account.. I really felt I should help if I could. I felt this statement was discarded, It was stated before but just once, don't let this idea go by.

It might help to talk with your doctor. I would start there, and let him give you some professional guidance... You indeed have some issues that need dealing with. Don't wait until it's too late...
Click to expand...

Thanks for the advice! You're a very kind guy, Wolfric.

The trouble is, I've already had a bad experience with a doctor, I mean a REALLY bad one. When I told my GP what was going on in my head, I ended up being forcibly detained in a psychiatric hospital under Section 4 of the British Mental Health Act. It was not an experience I want to repeat.

Should I go back and ask to be put on medication to help me control these urges? There are two anti-psychotic major tranquillizers that are reportedly very good at controlling morbid, dangerous or suicidal thoughts, namely Clozapine and Olanzapine... But no, the danger of being recommitted, and zombified, maybe even chemically castrated by such drugs, is simply too great.

Besides which, a great danger in talking to the Health Authorities would be that I might alert the British police to what is going on at CDG, causing them to come sniffing round the site trying to close it down. (supplying "extreme" images is illegal in my country). This would be a gross betrayal of the men who run this community, and the men who are members of it. The British are past masters at developing ways of policing the net. The extremely spooky "Echelon" is a prime example of this.

So no, thanks again, Wolfric, but a new visit to the doctor is OUT. Chilling in the park is the way forward for me. I just love having my head stroked by the good forces which I seem to be making contact with.
 
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MrAlex said:
Thanks for the advice! You're a very kind guy, Wolfric.

The trouble is, I've already had a bad experience with a doctor, I mean a REALLY bad one. When I told my GP what was going on in my head, I ended up being forcibly detained in a psychiatric hospital under Section 4 of the British Mental Health Act. It was not an experience I want to repeat.

Should I go back and ask to be put on medication to help me control these urges? There are two anti-psychotic major tranquillizers that are reportedly very good at controlling morbid, dangerous or suicidal thoughts, namely Clozapine and Olanzapine... But no, the danger of being recommitted, and zombified, maybe even chemically castrated by such drugs, is simply too great.

Besides which, a great danger in talking to the Health Authorities would be that I might alert the British police to what is going on at CDG, causing them to come sniffing round the site trying to close it down. (supplying "extreme" images is illegal in my country). This would be a gross betrayal of the men who run this community, and the men who are members of it. The British are past masters at developing ways of policing the net. The extremely spooky "Echelon" is a prime example of this.

So no, thanks again, Wolfric, but a new visit to the doctor is OUT. Chilling in the park is the way forward for me. I just love having my head stroked by the good forces which I seem to be making contact with.
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You seem to really want to avoid doing this, let's just hope you're capable of controlling your actions, which I believe you are, but you know what makes an urge an urge, fight with all your might against it!
 
You are very emotionally instable Alex but you are not stupid.

I think if you contact a psychiatrist (again) they will give you drugs and monitor, nothing else they can do really. Psychiatrists don't solve your problems so def not a good idea.

I visited a shrink last year, she was more messed up than her patients.

She said I was "fine" yet gave me anti-depressants. I never took any, I had major problems and I had to face reality instead of going to a shrink begging for pills that will make me happy again.
 
your 100 percent correct meat,
facing reality is the only way in this life to solve problems.
pills and talking to fucked up strangers do absolutely nothing,
accept who you are and dont hate yourself for anything
you feel or are, work with what you are, deal with it.
life is funny, diversity is beauty, in the end the only thing
that matters is your own self acceptance, i adore the freaky
strange side of myself, im unique.
 
That's like a prose poem, stustustugoo, full of cool ideas and very sound philosophy.

Thanx Meatpie, Boss, for the continuing advice!
 
if i said doing that... i see a picture of a hot muscular bloke being strangled and not wish that was me doing the strangling then id be lying but you have to know the difference between fantasy and reality, right and wrong.

if you dont then i dont think the loony bin is that bad of an idea. for you own safety more than anything.

oh theres some people i really despise. i remember my bully from school. i thank my lucky stars i actually got myself expelled because eventually i saw myself killing him. the problem though for me was i couldnt escape him not without getting expelled or killing him or myself. they were the options and because i knew right from wrong and knew not to kill another person i just went to a senior member of staff and sorry to say punched her in the face and wallah instant expulsion.

i was so desperate to get out GCSE's wernt worth it. i could have done what may others have done but id have been in prison or dead. thats what scared me having only them two as an option not killing my bully... fuck him lol!! then realised i had that third option and too right i took it

thats it though, knowing the difference between fantasy and reality knowing right and wrong stopped me from ruining my life and my future if you cant live in reality and keep the fantasy at bay with control
then mental help really is the right way to turn id say
 
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I like looking at the pics here but I'm more sadist than necrophiliac. I like to think what happened to the people before they did, especially when they died violently, how much they suffered and feared.
I know it's not normal, nobody here is normal. It doesn't matter.
I don't care about other people, except for my family. I love my family, but anyone else, can die. I don't care.
The reason why I'm not some psycho killer is because I don't want to go to jail. It just isn't worth it to kill once and spend rest of your life rotting in a prison! So fantasies are much better.
But I don't know how long I can satisfy my urges with just fantasies. I used to get really excited when I saw photos of dead, mutilated guys, but nowadays it's not so good anymore...
 
Fantasies start to bore me, luckily I am masochistic, so it would only be my death, and therefore I am not too worried, but generally I do not care, its my life and if Ican get the ultimate kick only trough death, so be it. If a doctor tells me, I have only so or so long to live, you can bet I do it.
 
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