Dead+Guyde said:
Dear Dead+Guyde,
Thank you so much for your warm, heartfelt welcome. I'm extremely sorry and embarrassed to be so late in offering my own greetings, but as it would seem you took up spamming my inbox within hours of creating an account and I am regrettably called away from this excellent forum for the greater part of my day, I had no chance to properly wish you well and make you feel at home. But I don't wish to make excuses for such abominable displays of callous neglect! Such would be a crass display of self-centeredness, and would only serve to compound the shocking discourtesy I've shown you thus far. Rather, I merely hope you can find it within yourself to forgive me by accepting my brightest and most sincere greetings now. Welcome to CDG.
With regard to the body of your missive, I'm overjoyed to learn that you've found a cause truly worthy of your valuable time; just between you and me, I think it a master stroke of deep wisdom that you don't waste a moment of it on petty frivolities like grammar. It is inspiring and uplifting to see you battle so courageously against the bitter and deplorable scourge of racism, calling out the guilty for justice even be they seated on the pinnacle of Mount Olympus itself. I mean, honestly! This is the INTERNET, not some backwoods beer hall!
And your strategy... Yet again, I can't help but regard you in worshipful awe. Of course a campaign against intolerance should consist of attacking the moderator of a paraphilia-themed forum on the internet rather than, say, any of the 900+ hate organizations and websites monitored by the Southern Poverty Law Center or the Anti-Defamation League. The strategy at first seems imbecilic in its inefficacy, and I admit I was utterly puzzled as to what someone of your unquestionable faculties could have meant by it, but slowly the subtle genius dawned on me. After all, actual hate groups? Those guys are expecting it! Real progress can only be made by changing the social climate that allows extremists to flourish, and what better way to do that than by insulting people who use the occasional racial slur? Ah, but - and here's where your prodigious intellect truly shows itself to be second to none - you found a better way: since the vile racist isn't likely to give you a moment's thought, the true victory is to be had by spamming random people who have absolutely no relation to either of you! Surely all right-thinking strangers on the internet will be overpowered by your sympathetic tale, and instantly cleave themselves to your divine truth. The resulting army of loving allies will shun the miserable excrescence who dared cross you, crushing them forever. Sir or Madam, you have shown me the light. I truly, truly can't help but feel abject shame that the way to eliminate the horrible blight of racism was so simple and so easy, and I was too stupid to realize it. I understand now that my life has been a barren wasteland devoid of meaning, and I beg you will take one as lowly as I under your wing so that one day I may hope to possess a mere fraction of your wisdom.
Very truly yours,
small_dot
P.S.: I hate to humiliate myself before you by admitting even more flaws, but in addition to being stupid, (and ugly,) I have a terrible streak of cowardice... I do not doubt that all of this site's users are already under investigation, (possibly even monitored investigation!) and I hope I've shown you I've seen the error of my ways. I would be eternally grateful if you could put a good word in for me! Either with the investigators, or the people monitoring them. Whichever. Thank you so much!
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CDG members come from all over the world - and from many different racial backgrounds. Some of the language used at CDG has in the past, caused offense - and precipitated complaints. Our members do speak up if they are unhappy - quite rightly. 
