instig74
Forum Regular
Have you always been allergic to it, Verlup?
Human Life is Absolutely Short
nvg70
Forum Regular
Meatpie, my philosophy is youre only as old as you think you are 
Life is short, that is true, but dont worry about it, and enjoy life!, we all should, we may only have one to life, and who knows what happens after that. I def plan land in heaven with a beer in one hand, a huge awesome joint in the other screaming "WHOOO HOOO! that was one helluva ride!"
then again, Im right now on my 4th energy drink so Im also wired as fuck LOL
Life is short, that is true, but dont worry about it, and enjoy life!
, we all should, we may only have one to life, and who knows what happens after that. I def plan land in heaven with a beer in one hand, a huge awesome joint in the other screaming "WHOOO HOOO! that was one helluva ride!" then again, Im right now on my 4th energy drink so Im also wired as fuck LOL
instig74
Forum Regular
Toptuan, very inspiring, thanks. I hate self pity and whining but that is me today. Don't read on if that pisses you off unless you enjoyed being pissed off.
I am having a day today of violent depression. I can't see without death shrouding everything, I feel vile and aggressive and beyond redemption. Wanted to go to the gym but have this hard on that won't abate and feel sick. Sometimes it seems easier not to be. I would leave no legacy and be one less drain on earth's resources. Nobody needs me in all honesty so fuck it all, I am the only one who sees inside the nightmare.
I just want to fuck death and cum into it and let it destroy me in a big bang or be fucked to oblivion by death today. The dead of course suffice. in the interim.
I wish i didn't focus on it, some days I don't so much, mostly am okay but sometimes this wave overcomes me and the abyss seems beautiful.
I have been surrounded by suicide since young, a teacher shot himself (not at the school, official bullshit story was he was cleaning the gun and it went off!), a number of friends have chosen this exit, worst was a friend who set himself on fire in his parent's car when he went back to UK who was happier than I had heard him the day before. I was in love with him too but he never knew.
I feel ultimately this destiny pursues me and eventually I will not be fast enough to escape. Or will be wise enough to submit. Sorry for wasting the space. Have a hot guy coming over later who I can fuck the shit out of, something to look forward to I guess, though will probably just make him hate me for the sake of it. I am so juvenile, static adolescence maybe. Not really even the right thread for this wank. Waiting for the alien to burst out of my gut now, pain is pleasure for some. Nothing for me at moment. I hope this passes. Need to lock myself in the darkness for a while.:sm (54):
:sm (2)::sm (37):
:sad02::sm (41):
I am having a day today of violent depression. I can't see without death shrouding everything, I feel vile and aggressive and beyond redemption. Wanted to go to the gym but have this hard on that won't abate and feel sick. Sometimes it seems easier not to be. I would leave no legacy and be one less drain on earth's resources. Nobody needs me in all honesty so fuck it all, I am the only one who sees inside the nightmare.
I just want to fuck death and cum into it and let it destroy me in a big bang or be fucked to oblivion by death today. The dead of course suffice. in the interim.
I wish i didn't focus on it, some days I don't so much, mostly am okay but sometimes this wave overcomes me and the abyss seems beautiful.
I have been surrounded by suicide since young, a teacher shot himself (not at the school, official bullshit story was he was cleaning the gun and it went off!), a number of friends have chosen this exit, worst was a friend who set himself on fire in his parent's car when he went back to UK who was happier than I had heard him the day before. I was in love with him too but he never knew.
I feel ultimately this destiny pursues me and eventually I will not be fast enough to escape. Or will be wise enough to submit. Sorry for wasting the space. Have a hot guy coming over later who I can fuck the shit out of, something to look forward to I guess, though will probably just make him hate me for the sake of it. I am so juvenile, static adolescence maybe. Not really even the right thread for this wank. Waiting for the alien to burst out of my gut now, pain is pleasure for some. Nothing for me at moment. I hope this passes. Need to lock myself in the darkness for a while.:sm (54):
:sm (2)::sm (37)::sad02::sm (41):
Have you tried killing yourself?
Don't do it - you a new here but already have so many friends, I for one have great respect for you.
I wish I was near you so that we could talk more I would help you get over these thoughts.
I know how because I have been there too.
When you get the morbid urges, esp killing yourelf, jerk a lot, jerk several time a day.
Taking a cold shower also helps.
I wish you all the best and don't dare hurt yourelf, every human is special and beautiful in their own way.
I have seen young guys commit suicide too since a young age.
When I was 13, two brothers both 18 hanged themselves nextdoor.
I was so excited but couldn't see anything because my grandmother locked me up in my room.
But I knew they killed themselves and it was so hot.
For their poor parents it was the end of their world.
So no, in general I don't like suicide it destroyes those who are left to live with this idead that they could have prevented this death.
My cousing Bobby jumped from a bridge in Sofia last year. He was tall and handsome and I liked him ever since we were kids.
He was only 20 yrs old and the whole family felt terrible that we could have prevented his death.
Don't do it - you a new here but already have so many friends, I for one have great respect for you.
I wish I was near you so that we could talk more I would help you get over these thoughts.
I know how because I have been there too.
When you get the morbid urges, esp killing yourelf, jerk a lot, jerk several time a day.
Taking a cold shower also helps.
I wish you all the best and don't dare hurt yourelf, every human is special and beautiful in their own way.
I have seen young guys commit suicide too since a young age.
When I was 13, two brothers both 18 hanged themselves nextdoor.
I was so excited but couldn't see anything because my grandmother locked me up in my room.
But I knew they killed themselves and it was so hot.
For their poor parents it was the end of their world.
So no, in general I don't like suicide it destroyes those who are left to live with this idead that they could have prevented this death.
My cousing Bobby jumped from a bridge in Sofia last year. He was tall and handsome and I liked him ever since we were kids.
He was only 20 yrs old and the whole family felt terrible that we could have prevented his death.
instig74
Forum Regular
Thaks Meatpie. I wish those days didn't come but they do unfortunately but I soldier on better now than in my early twenties when things were harder. I am grateful for the understanding. Thanks.
satanic-cumshot
Forum Resident
one day in hell or paradise = 1000 years in earth
An excerpt from the story I wrote. Funny in my opinion. Thought about it from satanic cumshot's post.
We’ve arrived in front of the address. Now the weather had started to spray a little. I rung the doorbell. An old lady answered the door.
At first she spoke with a welcoming air then the politeness disappeared. “Oh, hello young people. What do you want? I was watching TV.”
“Sorry to bother you ma’am, is there any chance a lady by the name Ana lives here by any chance?”
“Ana?”
“Ana Heston, maybe? She used to live in this house about six years ago.”
“My name is Margaret. I don’t know any Ana.” Then slams the door. We can even hear the old lady mumble “Sorry to bother you ma’am, you are bothering me you…..”
“Let’s try the local Catholic church. Maybe they have records of where Ana moved to.” Jason blinked.
Jason parked his pick up on the curb close to an old church made out of grey stones and slate roofs. The main gate to the church was locked for some reason. The weather worsened and the sky began to thunder. Jason was losing his patience.
“Well this is a waste of time!”
“Why is the gate locked. I’ll go around the rectory, maybe the priest is there.” I said. Jason grunts and sat on the stone fence.
I knocked the door expecting to be greeted by an old greying priest, rather by a good looking young man in his thirties in a casual clerical clothing.
“Father, I’m looking for someone that goes by the name Ana Heston as her married name. She used to live in this address around six years ago.” I gave him the address.
“Please come in. My name is Father John Prezenkowski.”
I introduced myself.
“ Six years ago you say?... I wouldn’t know my child. I’ve just moved to this parish last night. I can have a look at the archives.”
“Thank you Father John for your help… So is that why the parish gate was locked father. You just moved?”
“Exactly. I’ll make a call first. I know someone that can be of more help than I can.”
Father John was on the phone.
“You’re in luck. The priest I replaced is still in town. His name is Father Malek Sforza. He’s waiting for you at the gates of the parish. Here’s the key.” As the priest stepped to hand over the keys, he slipped on a puddle of water and hit his right fore-temple on a brass object close to the fireplace.
“Father, are you OK?”
In the nick of time, Jason shows up soaking wet.
“There’s an old man out front. I think he’s the priest you’re looking for.” He then caught his eye on the priest, half conscious on the floor. Jason’s eyes widens.
“Who is this?”
“This is Father John. Help me get him up.”
“Then the guy…”
“That’s the guy we’re looking for, just help me get Father John on a chair.” I was really worried the priest wasn’t responsive after checking his vitals, so I pulled out a ‘VICKS’ and held it under his nose.
“Father, how are you feeling? Shall I call the ambulance?”
Father John still groggy from the trauma, “No, my head hurts a little. There are some painkillers in the kitchen.”
I went to the kitchen and fetched a slab of paracetamol and a glass of water. Father John had some then took his load off on the couch.
“Jason, would you mind looking after Father John ask him if he need anything. I need to meet Father Malek.”
“I will, closely.”
“Call the ambulance straight away if anything doesn’t seem quite right.”
“OK! OK! Just go do your thing and I’ll do mine.”
Jason began stroking Father John’s hair and face. Somehow I feel I shouldn’t have entrusted him with the responsibility.
The rain stopped when I met Father Malek at the gates.
“You must be the person that Father John said need my help. You don’t look like you were part of any of my congregation.”
“No father. I am not a Catholic. I’m looking for someone called Ana. She was married to a man called Mark Heston.”
“Yes, I remember them. I know where she moved but I promised her not to reveal her new location to Mr Heston.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know my child. All she said was that Mr Heston hurt her so much. Why are you looking for Ana?”
“Mark died Father Malek. He left his property to me but I don’t feel right receiving it as he already had a kin than better deserve it.”
Father Malek took out a pocket notebook and a pen and wrote on it. He ripped a piece of a page off and gave the piece to me.
“Here’s the address. I offer my condolences.”
“Thank you father.”
Having returned back to the rectory, I was horrified to a despicable scene.
“Jason! What are you doing!!!”
“I was just… The guy is unconscious. He’s not going to know when he’s awake.”
“Stop that! Oh God! God will punish you Jay. He’s a priest!”
“I don’t care. You know what they say. Catholic priests are a bunch of gays hiding behind their robes. I’m an atheist.”
Jason desist while I put Father John’s pants bank on him. I called out to Father John but he was out cold.
“What did you Jay?!”
“He was complaining of a headache, so I gave him some sleeping pills.”
“How many?!”
“I gave him one… and I crush some and put it in the water he drinks.”
“I could report you Jason.”
“He’s so good looking. I can’t resist! It should be a crime a guy this good looking becoming a priest.”
“Oh Jay, what did you do. We can get in trouble. You for abusing a priest and I for enabling.” Then I just realised how twisted that just sounded, so I sat down on a chair with my hands across my face crying.
“I have a thing for guys in dog collars now. When I saw Father John sleeping he was like a corpse. When I put him on the table, the sun hits his face. Ah, his hair is perfect, his face… Ohhh! Can you believe this Father John works out. You should see his body. The muscles. Ooh!. And the size of his…”
“Jason! Stop enjoying this! It’s not even funny! Don’t you have shame for what you have done.”
“Come on… we’re buds. I was just… You’re not going to tell him, are you?”
“When Father John comes around, you are apologising for what you’ve done.”
Jason stupefied, rubbed his forehead with his finger and leaned against the window.
“Safe journey my child.”
“Thank you for your help father. I am very sorry for any inconveniences”
Jason drove the car away. While waving the priest goodbye, Father John seemed uneasy holding a rosary in his hand while running it on his ring finger.
“Thank you for not ratting on me bud.”
“You disappointed me Jay. Not only didn’t you apologised.”
“How did you know that? It’s best that he didn’t know. What you don’t know, can’t hurt you.”
“I think he knew Jason.”
“But how?”
“You had your hands all over him. God knows what you did.”
“I don’t get it.”
“You had your semen on him! What do you expect?!”
“He had big feet…”
“Stop trying to justify what you’ve done Jason! Just stop!”
Jason went silent. He looked rather glum almost sad. “I don’t know what you’re so mad about. It hurts me you know. I know what I did was wrong. You don’t have to be so disgusted of me.”
Jason’s tough exterior starts to crack and began to go teary eyed.
“Jason, are you crying?”
“Shut up!” he sobbed. The emotional vulnerable look on Jason just didn’t fit him very well but it sure was entertaining. Sort of. Mark dislike seeing someone upset. I can’t just let one of his friends be upset. So I said,
“Father John was good looking!”
“So you do agree he’s sexy!” Jason smiles
“Yes. But what you did…”
“Yes, I know. WRONG! I agree. Thanks for being a bud!” he ejaculated with the new positive attitude and put his arm around me and gave me a hug. We had a long pause then he asked me, “You a christian?”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“Supernatural!” I blurted out.
“Yah, man! I think he’s a hunter. Jensen Ackles looked hot as a priest!!! If Dean Winchester is my brother, I’d fuck him good! If he’s a corpse, even better!”
I was dumbstruck at Jason’s remark. His expression is equally worrisome to watch. Oh Mark. What is up with your connections?
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the road of human life .......... born.........go to school ............ go to college......get a job ............ marriage.........get a son or daughter..........work work work ...........get grandson .............work work work ............... hmmmmmmmmmm .............. die............. go to hell or heaven ........... happy ending
Lycanthrope
Forum Regular
To be honest, I dont want to live that old, 50-60 is about nice. I just want to do good, help people and then die. I want to be able to say at the end of my life that "this is a life worth living" and hopefully I can get to choose the time, place and method of my death.
mxboots888
Forum Legend
Human life on earth is what you make of it. You come into existence from oblivion and you go out the same way. What you do with it during your consciousness is up to you - for me, it is to enjoy life to the fullest, make friends, do good to others, orgasm as many times as you have the interest, learn new things, acquire toys that make you happy, and ponder how the human race will drive itself into extinction before the actual end of life sustaining conditions on earth. 
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