Whining about abuse yet going back to the same fuckface

[NecroHeadfucker]

So in the middle of the night on Monday I get this call from a friend of mine who is having problems with his asshole boyfriend. It was a strange call, he kept crying about how much he was hurting because he loved this guy and he hurt him and cheated on him. My friend's pretty hot and a hell of a catch (least I thought until today) and his boyfriend is an inbred little troll with crooked eyes, fucked up teeth, 5'2 and has very hideous feet.

But he said his man cheated on him and he hated him for it and he felt strong hurt and wouldn't stop crying. He kept saying he wanted to leave him, tired of being hurt. This is not the first time this happened to him. I asked him if it was for real and he was like: "yes it's for real!"

The next day, I text him about his weird ass whiny conversation the previous night and he gets mad and said that things calmed down and they're back together and fine. Completely forgets the fact that he was cheated on and treated like garbage.

Is it just me, or is something wrong with this picture?

 

[stustustugoo]

there is something very wrong,
first of all the guy sounds like a co-dependant, also even if he is nice looking
apparently he must only feel he is worthy of someone very ugly so the guy
must have very low self esteem as well.
sounds like his entire personal outlook is all fucked up, id stay out of it!

 

[Meatpie]

I agree with Rick, something is very wrong betweent these two guys and I suggest you stay out of it. Gay relationships are extremely complicated, as complicated as it can get in the entire animal kingdom.

More complicated than what they show in movies actually.

What I have noticed is in that both gay and lesbo relationship one partner tends to dominate the relationship, it can go as far as bullying and physical abuse. The other partner takes on this submissive role and is so immersed in his position that he or she begin to take it as normal!

I think this is what is happening in the situation you describe, although as I said human relationships are extremely complicated matter.

 

[SukmyPikachu]

How old is your friend?

I was quite similar to your friend a while back, I went from one abusive relationship to another (not physical mind you, thats one thing I don't take), I had really low self esteem and basically chose any guy that showed interest hoping to find soneone who "put up" with me. I got treated like shit by the guys but I took it because I hoped eventually he'd love me and stop it. Seriously one of my relationships was constantly the guy telling me that he was with me because I was a failure and that I couldn't do better and a big part of me believed it.

All I can say is that stay out of it, if you help him too much then he can't help himself. He has to be the one to find his own self worth, it'll happen eventually, I hope anyway. What worked for me was watching my sister have such healthy relationships even though she was incredibly selfish. I realised that there's two people in a relationship, not one, and wanting to have something good and even better isn't something to be scared of.

 

[cybershadow]

I've seen this type of behavior for centuries (and I am just 28 yo LOL) but still, I think some dudes LOVE to be treated like shit and they always think their BF will change (even among straight people) so like meatpie says, human relationships are very complex.

Many psychologist say, the best help u can give is just LISTENING to them and that is it. Do no advice him or give judgments about him or his BF because everything can turn against you.

If dudes are not strong enough to sit on their own asses and handle their relationships like mature people, don't even waste your time, it is not worthy... Gay guys like to be drama queens and at least me, I am not up for bullshit or fucking ridiculous things. Being gay does not mean to be a dumb-ass. Let the shit be with the shit, perhaps they deserve it. Act practically, think critically LOL.


Be happy and smile lots XD

 

[Meatpie]

I went from one abusive relationship to another I had really low self esteem and basically chose any guy that showed interest hoping to find soneone who "put up" with me. I got treated like shit by the guys but I took it because I hoped eventually he'd love me and stop it. Seriously one of my relationships was constantly the guy telling me that he was with me because I was a failure and that I couldn't do better and a big part of me believed it.

That's actually rather sad, are you in relationship now?

 

[NecroHeadfucker]

How old is your friend?.

He's 26 years old, will be 27 in February. His boyfriend is 29.

The one who called me to cry and bitch is very cute, his boyfriend looks like a literal troll and stereotypical southern American (white, crooked eyes, inbred, can't spell or write for shit). His boyfriend even had the nerve to call me after wards and ask for advice.

I have taken all of your guys advice to heart, and am just staying out of it. I only wish these people will quit calling me to complain. I may be a friend, but I am not a therapist (hey, when you break up the word therapist you get 'the rapist.').

I was in a similar situation before, but I ended it when he started to beat me.

 

[Meatpie]

I ended it when he started to beat me.

OH NOES....Horrible

This is such a disgrace hope the fucker found what he deserved

 

[stustustugoo]

if people dont have the common sense to get out of a bad situation
they must like it and are getting what they deserve.
my ex almost murdered me years ago and i ended it the very next day.

 

[SukmyPikachu]

I only wish these people will quit calling me to complain. I may be a friend, but I am not a therapist (hey, when you break up the word therapist you get 'the rapist.').

You need to make this clear to him, in time he will thank you, but if he continues to stay with a guy who doesn't respect him then he's the idiot.

That's actually rather sad, are you in relationship now?

The only sad thing is the time I wasted with the wanker.

 

[NecroHeadfucker]

OH NOES....Horrible

This is such a disgrace hope the fucker found what he deserved

Eh, after we ended it he went downhill FAST. For awhile there he would call me up and tell me he was going to commit suicide and it would be my fault if he died. It was stressful at first, but I got over it after awhile. I graduated from college after that and never looked back.

 

[Meatpie]

my ex almost murdered me years ago and i ended it the very next day.

Jesus Christ, what happened?

I am in total shock from the posts in this thread.

 

[SukmyPikachu]

my ex almost murdered me years ago and i ended it the very next day.

Good for you, I hope you got past it.

Eh, after we ended it he went downhill FAST. For awhile there he would call me up and tell me he was going to commit suicide and it would be my fault if he died. It was stressful at first, but I got over it after awhile. I graduated from college after that and never looked back.

My boyfriend was pretty moronic, he'd call me up and just act like we were still dating even though I'd broken up with him. Then threats followed after which he'd cry and beg me to come back, which I did the first few times. Its a vicious circle and a habit thats hard to break.

 

[stustustugoo]

oh, thanks for your kind words,
yes, i did get past it, a long time ago.
thanks again.