Yes - I am looking for real blood - MINE, and real guts - MINE. Would love to horse around - get fucked, bb (bareback) in the ass, have my cock / balls played with - as I cut my belly. Either a short cut (blood), or a long cut (blood & guts) , or 2 long cuts - blood and my guts spiling out and onto the floor, or into a bucket.
All depends on the prognosis - I will seeing an intestinal specialist in the next couple of weeks. If I am in the beginning stages of colon cancer - it will be "play", if I am far along - it may be for an end result of death.