Rent boys

[Micky]

In a desperate attempt to earn enough money to pay for my broadband, I decide to work as a rent boy down Chorlton Street bus station. After less than a week I am walking bow-legged with an increasing tendency to ejaculate backwards.

One of my fellow rent-boys is called Drew. I have already talked about him with the others, because he's kinda cute. One morning I'm hobbling towards the Salford bus stand and Drew approaches me and tries to strike up a conversation.

Drew: Hey pal yooh kay?

Me: Yooh kay? Oh, I get it! Yes, I'm fine thanks. You?

Drew: Fine fanx pal. Wubbut yooh?

Me: Huh?

Drew: Loolz an me aint got nufin to do.

Me: Oh... er, good. So how's your sister?

Drew: She such a fukin bitch pal. An she sed she preggaz agen.

Me: Um, ok. Isn't your sister twelve?

Drew: Yeah an she only got like wun kid lool. Wot a tard!

Me: What?

Drew: No, t' be hon she a fukin stunnah pal an she gave hed to dat mingaa Dave. But hes a geek wot da fuk. Why she do dat? He mingin pal.

Me: He's my friend actually.

Drew: Aaaaah yooh gona get propa merkd now pal. T' be hon I fukin hate yooh. Why yooh bein maytz wiff Dave? He a fuckin mong.

Me: That's it! I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, so I'm leaving this conversation now.

Drew: Ok pal no swet.

 

[Meatpie]

Is this a story you made up or real life?

 

[Micky]

It's a story, Meatpie, but based on a real life incident from nearly two years ago when I got drunk, asked a guy if he'd like to pay for it, but he was the WRONG guy to ask and I got beaten up.

 

[Meatpie]

Horrible.

 

[Micky]

Bad gay radar, I think. But I'm learning.

 

[UNickMaker]

If that is a photo of you I will rent you. How much

 

[mostynthecat]

you are cute mate.