Etiquette: Touching other people in public

[Meatpie]

I was out in the neighbourhood today and met a classmate of my sister.

We talked on the street and then all of a sudden her short, ugly dwarf of husband props up behind my back.

"What's up" he said and patted me on the back like a pet dog.



I am gay and I love being with other dudes but patting, touching, hugging other people in public even if you know them well is not acceptable. Yet so many people practise it!

I wanted to make a scene and crush him in front of his wife.

 

[bindiboi]

To me it really depends on the situation and who it is. My best friend and I have no problems hugging in public if we run into each other, I hug both him and his wife no problem. If I am with a BF and there aren't too many people around we might grab a shoulder or a quick peck on the cheek. We would have to be careful though as homosexuality is still taboo here. In major cities like San Francisco or New York it is much more common.

 

[mxboots888]

Hmm, I thought that "personal" space is more a North American phenomena. I always thought that Europeans are much more open and more likely to show affection in public with a pat, hug, kiss on the cheek, or whatever?

 

[Snerdguy]

Different cultures have different tolerances of personal space. In some cultures, a kiss on the cheek or a hug are common greetings between even strangers. In others, touching is completely taboo. I suggest that your encounter is more about alpha male dominance. It can be a douche-bag's way of greeting people who intimidate him. Patting on the back is usually a gesture of a superior giving approval to a subordinate. You have every right to back away and say that his action seems odd and makes you feel uncomfortable. Crushing someone just makes you look like a douche-bag.

 

[bindiboi]

Snerdguy, you hit the nail on the psychological head. If you want to throw the guy off his game, next time he does something like that turn around shake his hand while grabbing his forearm at the same time. It's the U.S. politician hand shake. It would one up him, domination wise. Or just hit him, either way.

 

[Meatpie]

Patting on the back is usually a gesture of a superior giving approval to a subordinate. You have every right to back away and say that his action seems odd and makes you

What superior, this guy was shorter than me.

I only play it nice with him because he is husband of my sister's classmate.

 

[ArrowMan]

I don't see anything wrong with this. I like to talk to people and gently touch their arms to emphasize a point and to be friendly.

Some people you can just sense are "hands off" and of course for such hyper-sensitive types I never invade their personal space standards.

 

[Snerdguy]

What superior, this guy was shorter than me.

I only play it nice with him because he is husband of my sister's classmate.

In HIS mind, it makes him feel superior. It's a condescending gesture. If you repel it in a non-confrontational way, you remain in control and he has to retreat because his gesture failed to get the submissive response he was after. These are mind games that people play all of the time. What he was doing is probably compensating for low self esteem because of his small stature. It's how he makes himself "mentally" taller.

 

[Meatpie]

What he was doing is probably compensating for low self esteem because of his small stature. It's how he makes himself "mentally" taller.

Awesome. He may even feel more handsome if we follow the same logic...because dude is absolutely fucked in the FACE!!!

 

[Craigie Boy]

ha ha

 

[stustustugoo]

i like being touched, lol

 

[jaydies]

i too like being touched by handsome guys.