Andrew1999, if it helps, here are some of the questions I asked myself and reasons that brought me from a "sort of" believing catholic to a passionate non-believer:
I started asking what it was like to be in heaven worshipping god and being happy for eternity - does it mean that I have to keep stroking god's ego for eternity? What does being eternally happy mean? To be a zombie and mesmerized by the greatness of this dictator and grovel at his feet (does he have feet)? Can I still enjoy the pleasure of eating food? The pleasure of listening to music? The appreciation of sex? Do I still have bodily functions such as having to shit and pee? Can I enjoy the process of sleeping or do we not have to sleep ever again? If none of these apply, the whole essence of who I am is no longer true or unique. Every "soul" in heaven would be like robots only there to serve a low self esteem dictator who needs his ass brown-nosed. Speaking of which, does god have an asshole and does he have to shit as well? Also, do we get to become "young" again if we die at 100? If we are eternally happy all the time, won't we get bored or would we really recognize that we are indeed happy without the normal ups and downs of earthly living? Can we have bad thoughts once in heaven? That is can you actually be thrown out of heaven because of this, or are we such zombies that we can't think for ourselves anymore? Childhood indoctrination never addresses these quandaries because they can never be answered. Of course if there is any explanation at all, we are subjected to the inane ultimate cop-out - "god works in mysterious ways".
It's been drummed into our heads that religious organizations do more good than harm to society. I keep thinking of what good that they do that a non-religious non-profit organization cannot do. To date, I can't think of any, and if you can, let me know. I soon realized that doing good with strings attached is not as moral as doing good just for the sake of being kind to your fellow man, and no other reason. If you do good because it is what some dictator tells you to do with the promise of a reward, and not doing good would result in punishment, then you are just a robot slave and selfish, not really moral.
When I look at the "good" that religious organizations do in the Third world I often think of the price the people have to pay in order to receive this aid. Are they better off when they are doomed to a life of servitude to an organization that is intent on keeping them in their present state, spreading lies about birth control, prohibiting women's reproductive decisions? This will guarantee them generation after generation of lifelong indentured service to such organizations.
When I look at how divided this country has become, that is, 1/2 Republican, 1/2 Democrat, I can't help but think that religious influence has become such a dangerous force to our freedoms. When you sit in a church (assuming a mainstream one, and not a gay congregation), you can be assured that the majority of those sitting with you are against you and feel that you are an abomination in the eyes of god. How disheartening is that? And the fact that you continue to attend these mainstream churches only serve to legitimize them and keep them alive. Recently, there was a news report about how the local churches in my state are trying to get their congregations to donate to defeat the Referendum on gay marriage which is coming up for a vote this Fall. The legislature had already approved gay marriage but the news reported that the majority of the signatures obtained to force this bill to a popular vote in a referendum was garnered exclusively from churches and paid signature gatherers.
This reverence for religion and religious beliefs is the main reason how the catholic church was able to almost get away with its heinous crime of protecting child abusers. In any other circumstance, the organization responsible would have been shut down and the ring leader imprisoned for life. The power of this organization is kept alive by its followers and nothing else and their subdued outrage. In any other circumstance, these followers would have wanted such organizations to be dismantled but because it is operating under the guise of religion, they turn a blind eye, and excusing it under the banner of "one bad apple, does not spoil the whole barrel."
When I look at what's happening in the Middle East I'm reminded daily how beliefs are so soberingly dangerous. Sectarian annihilation all in the name of not being able to agree on the interpretation of the koran, and martyrs doing what they do for the sake of being rewarded with 72 virgins which many scholars say is a mistranslation of "white raisins". Really? Killing oneself for the reward of 72 raisins? WTF!
The arrogance of religion - if most all religions claim that they are the true way and everyone else is wrong, then I am inclined to think that all of them are fictitious and only invented by man to explain the yet unexplained and his arrogance of wanting to live forever after death . Religion is the perfect vehicle to control populations with reward for this arrogance, something that can never be proven. How convenient. Truth should NOT and would NOT respect geo-political borders.
The problem of evil - why does god allow such suffering and misery on earth? The timeless ponderings of Epicurus still apply today - "Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
Okay, I don't doubt that there are many good things that are said in these so called holy books, but honestly, I feel that we should give ourselves more credit that we have some innate morality. Some scientists feel that these moralities, eg. altruism, can be explained by Darwinism, which seems plausible. If we can cherry pick and reject what seems immoral in these books, or have to spin these immoralities to fit our sense of morality, then these books are useless. We are better than the Bronze Aged goatherders who wrote them. You can get much more consistent moralities from ancient philosophers than holy books that condone slavery, killing, and violence against one another.
Of all people, gays should be the first to question the above motivations and reject their childhood indoctrination into these beliefs/religions. The very religious organizations that they support, either monetarily, or by attendance, only serve to propagate their ability to continue spewing out these hateful diatribes and crusade against gay people. We can be part of the solution, not enablers to the status quo of these organizations.
