AnonymousPH
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- Oct 16, 2012
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My UP friend gave me these exclusive newspaper clips from The Philippine Collegian back in November 1996 followed by a parody one in March 1997.
The English translation of the Tagalog quote on the second last column of the first and real article is here as follows:
"There is a high possibility that there is only one killer who did this. They both share the same laceration, as well as the cut until the base of the neck."
The next paragraph: "It is sure that the corpse was dumped on that area because if he would be killed in that area, the security guard in that area would hear."
The second article is a parody of the Philippine Daily Inquirer (parodized as Philippine Hairy Inquirer). Take note that the upper picture is fake while the lower picture is real and uncensored but cropped.
Here's the English translation:
"Head of Headless Body, Found at UFS
by Easy Boy
The missing victim's head who was killed and beheaded was finally found around Philippine Nuclear Rebellion Institute (PNRI) [parody for Philippine Nuclear Research Institute]. A little shock from UP [University of the Philippines] community, the missing head was found at the kitchen of Univershitty Food Service (UFS) [parody for University Health Service (UHS)]. The officials of UP Puh-lease [parody for UP Police] is currently investigation how the head went there.
"We were previously monitoring that UFS," according to Chief of Puh-lease [Police] Eduardo Bentae [I don't know his real surname]. "Previously, I saw cockroach in my soup. I asked, 'What is cockroach doing here?' He was answered by kitchen staff, '[The cockroach] is doing back stroke.' Bwahahaha. Why are you not laughing? Am I having a bad breath?"
According to the head kitchen staff of UFS Grill Atty. Rodic Pares [I don't know his real name], they really know what they are doing to the said head. "Ha, we are going to make sisig [a Filipino food]. It will be a waste if we will leave there mutating near PNRI." That said meal is included in Student Meal. "Yes, for only 25 pesos. you have iced tea, double read, and human head!!!! Hahahahahaha!"
The said head is currently smiling on a tray."
The English translation of the Tagalog quote on the second last column of the first and real article is here as follows:
"There is a high possibility that there is only one killer who did this. They both share the same laceration, as well as the cut until the base of the neck."
The next paragraph: "It is sure that the corpse was dumped on that area because if he would be killed in that area, the security guard in that area would hear."
The second article is a parody of the Philippine Daily Inquirer (parodized as Philippine Hairy Inquirer). Take note that the upper picture is fake while the lower picture is real and uncensored but cropped.
Here's the English translation:
"Head of Headless Body, Found at UFS
by Easy Boy
The missing victim's head who was killed and beheaded was finally found around Philippine Nuclear Rebellion Institute (PNRI) [parody for Philippine Nuclear Research Institute]. A little shock from UP [University of the Philippines] community, the missing head was found at the kitchen of Univershitty Food Service (UFS) [parody for University Health Service (UHS)]. The officials of UP Puh-lease [parody for UP Police] is currently investigation how the head went there.
"We were previously monitoring that UFS," according to Chief of Puh-lease [Police] Eduardo Bentae [I don't know his real surname]. "Previously, I saw cockroach in my soup. I asked, 'What is cockroach doing here?' He was answered by kitchen staff, '[The cockroach] is doing back stroke.' Bwahahaha. Why are you not laughing? Am I having a bad breath?"
According to the head kitchen staff of UFS Grill Atty. Rodic Pares [I don't know his real name], they really know what they are doing to the said head. "Ha, we are going to make sisig [a Filipino food]. It will be a waste if we will leave there mutating near PNRI." That said meal is included in Student Meal. "Yes, for only 25 pesos. you have iced tea, double read, and human head!!!! Hahahahahaha!"
The said head is currently smiling on a tray."
