Longpig Baking / Roasting / Smoking Oven
Safety first (Avoiding the point of no return where roleplay does become reality)
• If doing a real life roleplay with a longpig with full intentions of playing again later or with a different form of cooking the chef and assistants must ensure the health of the longpig is maintained throughout the roleplay cooking procedure.
• In the case of baking or roasting a longpig, you will never want to allow the air temperature to rise above 180 degrees F (or 82 degrees C) as above this will cause the internal body temperature of the meat to rise and the brain will start to cook in reality leading to permanent damage and the point of no return. Check with local sauna room regulations and equipment manufacturers.
• Also check with a scratch test each seasoning used and basting on the meat’s hide to verify if there will be an allergic reaction. Some spices will cause severe reactions with some longpig meat and not others.
• Throughout the cooking process monitor the longpigs internal temperature and pulse for stress. Remove heat source if the pulse gets too high or the meat temp rises above 101 F (38.3C).
• Know your meat. Does he have high or low blood pressure, any diseases which can hurt you or similarly does anyone of the chef and assistants have diseases which can hurt the meat. Be clear and compassionate and everyone will have fun.
• If using a hoist in your roleplay or suspension, ensure the meat is not vertical for longer than its heart can stand. Training of the meat will increase this time interval. Initially start at 10 to 15 minutes while monitoring the meat hide color. Raise the meat from waist to a level position to allow the heart to move the blood around and then after a few minutes let the meat hang again.
• When using suspension, ensure the tendons of the hands and / or feet are not being pulled or crushed. Good cuffs will tighten around and draw support the meat by the muscle and bone. Also ensure proper blood circulation in the feet and hands.
• Always have a plan to remove the heat sources quickly or the meat quickly if the longpig is in distress or a point of no return may ensue and then you have other logistics to consider
• Always have a plan to in bind or release the longpig if the meat is in too much distress where harm can result so the point of no return is not passed
• Read and be aware of all warnings and cautions for all tools and equipment used in your roleplay
Creating the baking and roasting oven is similar in construction and can be the same setup as the steaming oven except for how the heat is applied.
To bake/roast cook a longpig you need an enclosure to contain the heated air in the same way a gym sauna room works. In essence, you are creating a mini gym sauna room. Some for one or two person capacity steam/saunas are available commercially. However, that is usually more expensive than a chef can dish out, unless using them for their intended purposes at other times.
You can use the same metal containers of a feed trough and bath tube for a baking / roasting box with modifications to the cover. This way the trough can be used for stews, steams, and bake/roasting. The heat sources will need to come from above and circulate air downwards.
Cinder blocks are a chef’s best friend for the home cook. They are easy to manipulate and cheap to purchase. They do not need to be fastened together for permanence in the constructions they create for longpig cooking. A cinder block box with cinder block floor can be used to create a steam, roasting, or smoker oven. Use landscape cloth beneath the floor tiles and around the sides if doing a steam oven. Use of cinder blocks can be also used inside or in a garage or basement. The heat sources have to be appropriate for the cooking method and ventilation. Arrange the cinder blocks to create the desired oven configuration for the desired longpig position during cooking. A grill can be easily supported in the bottom by the first layer of blocks spread around. Support poles for the meat and other positions have endless possibilities. The only disadvantage is accessing the meat will have to be through the top lid as with trough cooking ovens. When the roleplay is over, stack your cinders neatly to the side and no one can tell what they have been used to create.
A simple way to create the sauna box is to either construct it from plywood with hinges on all side so it can collapse for storage. Have access panels which can be opened and closed on sides so the chef can attend the meat by basting and checking tenderness. Leave one large hole in the top or side or both for the longpig’s head to be outside the box. If you plan ahead, you can design the size of your box to accommodate many size longpigs in many positions (sitting or laying). One other position will have the longpig supported by poles in the box. One pole under the knees from side to side, with 2 bracing the back meat under the shoulders and one just at the lower back. The longpig will be on a slight angle so his weight is mainly on the two bottom poles and rump is exposed like a turkey with calves supported and confining him with the top pole. An access door for rump meat attentions should be placed in the area his rump will be exposed to. Good for stuffing the meat with fruits during cooking if desired. Similarly the other sides should have access doors.
In baking / roasting you may at times want the longpig truss like a turkey on its back or like a pig style on its knees folded flat with hands bound at the side to the ankles. Another time honored roasting position is with the meat laying flat on its belly with legs either folded up and tied in place to the hands or laying flat extending the meat its full length. These positons will direct the size of your baking / roasting / steam oven. They can also create various options for how the heat is applied.
If using a large Rubber Maid storage container or cardboard box, make the appropriate modifications to support the meat in the desired position. Be sure to leave a hole for the head to be outside the box. Steam will leak outside through this opening so vents are not necessary, initially. With this setup only an air blown head source with duct work will work as the heat can ignite cardboard and melt plastic. Ensure if using plastic or cardboard that the ducting is metal or similar to a clothes dryer duct and the heat source is at least 3 feet from the box.
If using a metal container, steno cans, gas camping stoves, BBQ briquettes, and / or wood can be used. If using wood or briquettes be sure the cooking is outside in a well ventilated and private location. The heat will then be blown into the oven or by creation of a draft as in a smoker configuration the air will naturally move through. If smoking your longpig, the air will be coming directly from the wood fire. In other cases heating a metal box from below will create the heat.
In some set ups it is advised to have the heat source on a rolling tray or back board as a mechanic uses when working on cars. This way it can be removed if the longpig is getting too hot or the meat needs a small break in cooking and will just marinate. In other situations the meat will need to be tethered or harnessed to a hoist or block and tackle to lift the meat out of the broth if it gets too hot. This later method is cumbersome and for a large longpig rather awkward if the chef is alone without assistants.
Remove all hair from the longpig.
Clean the meat with anti-bacterial soap.
Tenderize the meat if needed.
Choose a recipe which will complement the longpig you have to work with. The spices, fruits, and vegetable added to longpig and the liquid choices will make a broth which can actually be used later in real cooking, which will collect below your longpig as noted above.
Figure the position you want your longpig to cook in which will maximize his meat feelings and your hungry desires; as you will be seeing the meat in this position for many hours as you baste and tend to the cooking process. Realize the positon chosen here is most often the pose for the final table presentation of the meat. Dry run the positions in the box to find just the right pose for your longpig. Here size does matter too. A 240lb longpig will not necessarily get the same pose as a 150lb full roaster.
Remove the meat when red and sweaty and the desired time has passed.
Dress the meat for the dining table.
Place added foods and basting as desire and begin eating. In some cases the longpig, though bound to the table or bound to not move, may be feed some of the foods with his flavor. Longpigs are just as curious and delighted by their flavor as chefs.
Longpig Grill Roasting
Safety first (Avoiding the point of no return where roleplay does become reality)
• If doing a real life roleplay with a longpig with full intentions of playing again later or with a different form of cooking the chef and assistants must ensure the health of the longpig is maintained throughout the roleplay cooking procedure.
• In the case of grill roasting a longpig, you will never want to allow flames to be closer than 2 feet to the meat which could start the cooking process and burns in reality leading to permanent damage and the point of no return.
• Also check with a scratch test each seasoning used and basting on the meat’s hide to verify if there will be an allergic reaction. Some spices will cause severe reactions with some longpig meat and not others.
• Throughout the cooking process monitor the longpigs internal temperature and pulse for stress. Remove heat source if the pulse gets too high or the meat temp rises above 101 F (38.3C).
• Know your meat. Does he have high or low blood pressure, any diseases which can hurt you or similarly does anyone of the chef and assistants have diseases which can hurt the meat. Be clear and compassionate and everyone will have fun.
• If using a hoist in your roleplay or suspension, ensure the meat is not vertical for longer than its heart can stand. Training of the meat will increase this time interval. Initially start at 10 to 15 minutes while monitoring the meat hide color. Raise the meat from waist to a level position to allow the heart to move the blood around and then after a few minutes let the meat hang again.
• When using suspension, ensure the tendons of the hands and / or feet are not being pulled or crushed. Good cuffs will tighten around and draw support the meat by the muscle and bone. Also ensure proper blood circulation in the feet and hands.
• Always have a plan to remove the heat sources quickly or the meat quickly if the longpig is in distress or a point of no return may ensue and then you have other logistics to consider
• Always have a plan to in bind or release the longpig if the meat is in too much distress where harm can result so the point of no return is not passed
• Read and be aware of all warnings and cautions for all tools and equipment used in your roleplay
Cinder blocks are a chef’s best friend for the home cook, especially in the case of grill cooking and spit roasting. They are easy to manipulate and cheap to purchase. They do not need to be fastened together for permanence in the constructions they create for longpig cooking. Use of cinder blocks can be also used inside or in a garage or basement. The heat sources have to be appropriate for the cooking method and ventilation.
A grill can be easily supported on the third layer of bricks giving lots of room for heat to be placed under the meat. Leave openings in both ends for removing the heat when needed or from the midpoint on the longest sides. Support poles for the meat and other positions have endless possibilities. When the roleplay is over, stack your cinders neatly to the side and no one can tell what they have been used to create.
Grilling is actually one of the easiest roleplays and the more boring as the chef basically just watches the meat lay and cook. Granted the chef does baste the meat and flips it over at times while seasoning. Regularly test the meat for tenderness and taste test. If doing intense grilling the meat will need to be restrained to the grill and flipping the meat may not be possible without assitants.
In a pitch, a metal ladder can make a good grill for roasting longpig. Be sure to properly support each end with saw horses or other sturdy structures.
Unlike other cooking methods, any juices and gravies will not be collected in this cooking method as with spit roasting. So baste the meat liberally for that end of cooking flavor the chef will like when dining on the meat.
Heat sources are wide open in options for grilling and spit roasting. Steno cans, gas camping stoves, BBQ briquettes, and / or wood can be used as well as a steamer if desired. If using wood or briquettes be sure the cooking is outside in a well ventilated and private location.
In some set ups it is advised to have the heat source on a rolling tray or back board as a mechanic uses when working on cars. This way it can be removed if the longpig is getting too hot or the meat needs a small break in cooking and will just marinate. In other situations the meat will need to be tethered or harnessed to a hoist or block and tackle to lift the meat out of the broth if it gets too hot. This later method is cumbersome and for a large longpig rather awkward if the chef is alone without assistants.
Remove all hair from the longpig.
Clean the meat with anti-bacterial soap.
Tenderize the meat if needed.
Choose a recipe which will complement the longpig you have to work with. The spices, fruits, and vegetable added to longpig and the liquid choices will make a baste which can actually be used later in real cooking.
Figure the position you want your longpig to cook in which will maximize his meat feelings and your hungry desires; as you will be seeing the meat in this position for many hours as you baste and tend to the cooking process. Realize the positon chosen here is most often the pose for the final table presentation of the meat.
One advantage of grill cooking a longpig is the size of the longpig can be almost any level.
Remove the meat when red and sweaty and the desired time has passed.
Longpig Spit Roasting
Safety first (Avoiding the point of no return where roleplay does become reality)
• If doing a real life roleplay with a longpig with full intentions of playing again later or with a different form of cooking the chef and assistants must ensure the health of the longpig is maintained throughout the roleplay cooking procedure.
• In the case of grill roasting a longpig, you will never want to allow flames to be closer than 2 feet to the meat which could start the cooking process and burns in reality leading to permanent damage and the point of no return.
• Also check with a scratch test each seasoning used and basting on the meat’s hide to verify if there will be an allergic reaction. Some spices will cause severe reactions with some longpig meat and not others.
• Throughout the cooking process monitor the longpigs internal temperature and pulse for stress. Remove heat source if the pulse gets too high or the meat temp rises above 101 F (38.3C).
• Know your meat. Does he have high or low blood pressure, any diseases which can hurt you or similarly does anyone of the chef and assistants have diseases which can hurt the meat. Be clear and compassionate and everyone will have fun.
• If using a hoist in your roleplay or suspension, ensure the meat is not vertical for longer than its heart can stand. Training of the meat will increase this time interval. Initially start at 10 to 15 minutes while monitoring the meat hide color. Raise the meat from waist to a level position to allow the heart to move the blood around and then after a few minutes let the meat hang again.
• When using suspension, ensure the tendons of the hands and / or feet are not being pulled or crushed. Good cuffs will tighten around and draw support the meat by the muscle and bone. Also ensure proper blood circulation in the feet and hands.
• Always have a plan to remove the heat sources quickly or the meat quickly if the longpig is in distress or a point of no return may ensue and then you have other logistics to consider
• Always have a plan to in bind or release the longpig if the meat is in too much distress where harm can result so the point of no return is not passed
• Read and be aware of all warnings and cautions for all tools and equipment used in your roleplay
Spit roasting a longpig is a mental favorite of longpig and chefs alike. Many chefs want to see the meat slowly rotating automatically on spit for hours while they sip wine and baste the meat. Others like to rotate the meat themselves and this creates a constant interaction with the prize dinner.
Many a longpig fantasizes about that rod ramped up its rump meat and out its mouth while feeling the heat from below like light fingers dancing all over their meat feathering the flesh as it is rotated by or great relief at finally being manually turned to a new position. All they see is the world rotating right side up, sideways, upside down, and sideways again then repeating for hours – if they can see at all. Remember it is best to keep the longpig blind.
Now fantasy aside, spit roasting a longpig is logistically one of the more difficult roleplays. The longpig has to be supported on a pole and the chef wants access physically and visibly to all the meat as it moves around.
The best roleplay apparatus for one position of spit roasting is a compromise of the spit pole to a spit flat surface rectangular frame system which is supported by poles on each of the short ends. The frame can have multiple rods on the sides running the length of the longpig on each side. Add adjustable cross beams at the knee bend, at the spot just above the rump where the buttocks meet the back and at the shoulders. If using the two pole on the side method, more adjustable rods can be placed to keep the meat pinned. Place them at the ankles, just under the breast meat and above the waist line.
The longpig will need to be lashed in heat resistant cords to the frame of either construction. A longpig falling into the heat source below will create a point of no return for the chef and bad consequences in most cases.
Some chefs like the arms lashed beside the longpig and other out front of the head. Similarly in this position the legs can be folded back so the feet are near the rump or lashed to the end of the frame with knees bent sideways to fit the meat into the spit length.
For an even cooking, the chef should have the longpig as linear as possible along the axis of rotation.
The second type of spit roasting has the lonppig lashed in a folded position as a turkey. In this position, the spit is then inserted under the rib cage and between the rib cage and folded thigh or hams ends. This is the center of gravity of the meat when folded in this positon. Extra lashing will be necessary and 2 poles running perpendicular to the spit (possibly running through the pole of the spit and bolted in place). These side poles should be adjustable to move along the spit length to accommodate different width of longpigs. Move each pole so it runs from under the arm pit down to top of the rump pelvis bone. Lash across the meat to each pole to stabilize and secure the meat in place.
This position is very exciting to both chef and longpig. For the chef he sees the hams and rump displayed in a manner which always conveys that the longpig is meat, glorious and delicious meat to harvest. The chef has full access to baste the pig and can rotate the meat in quarter turns or automatically.
For the longpig, he can feel himself as meat and since his rump is fully spread, the anus can be stuffed in such a way as to allow the anus to remain partially open with stuffing to collect some of the heat. All the heat will enter and start to cook the stretched hams and front saddle of the pig. The chef will need to keep the testical sack and penis well basted to prevent burns and the hide from drying out. Similarly when the meat is upside down, the head will need to be carefully watched to prevent singing of hair and cooking the brain.
In the turkey spit roast position measure the longpig so the distance from the heat to the lowest part of the longpig over the heat is no less than 2 feet for a full flame. Adjust for steno and candles as necessary.
Cinder blocks are a chef’s best friend for the home cook, especially in the case of grill cooking and spit roasting. They are easy to manipulate and cheap to purchase. They do not need to be fastened together for permanence in the constructions they create for longpig cooking. Use of cinder blocks can be also used inside or in a garage or basement. The heat sources have to be appropriate for the cooking method and ventilation.
Leave openings in both ends for removing the heat when needed or from the midpoint on the longest sides. Support poles for the meat and other positions have endless possibilities. When the roleplay is over, stack your cinders neatly to the side and no one can tell what they have been used to create.
Cinder blocks can be used to support the spit ends for the manual turning set up. Similarly well placed and strong “A” frames can be used. The hardware store has many lumber saw horse type of structures which will work well.
Attach a gear driven motor or belt motor to the spit for automated rotation.
Now the chef has the duty of watching the meat turn or be turned and cook. Granted the chef does baste the meat and at times adds seasoning. Regularly test the meat for tenderness and taste test.
Unlike other cooking methods, any juices and gravies will not be collected in this cooking method as with spit roasting. So baste the meat liberally for that end of cooking flavor the chef will like when dining on the meat.
Heat sources are wide open in options for grilling and spit roasting. Steno cans, gas camping stoves, BBQ briquettes, and / or wood can be used as well as a steamer if desired. If using wood or briquettes be sure the cooking is outside in a well ventilated and private location.
In some set ups it is advised to have the heat source on a rolling tray or back board as a mechanic uses when working on cars. This way it can be removed if the longpig is getting too hot or the meat needs a small break in cooking and will just marinate. In other situations the meat will need to be tethered or harnessed to a hoist or block and tackle to lift the meat out of the broth if it gets too hot. This later method is cumbersome and for a large longpig rather awkward if the chef is alone without assistants.
Remove all hair from the longpig.
Clean the meat with anti-bacterial soap.
Tenderize the meat if needed.
Choose a recipe which will complement the longpig you have to work with. The spices, fruits, and vegetable added to longpig and the liquid choices will make a baste which can actually be used later in real cooking.
Figure the position you want your longpig to cook in which will maximize his meat feelings and your hungry desires; as you will be seeing the meat in this position for many hours as you baste and tend to the cooking process. Realize the positon chosen here is most often the pose for the final table presentation of the meat.
One advantage of grill cooking a longpig is the size of the longpig can be almost any level.
Remove the meat when red and sweaty and the desired time has passed.
Longpig Luau Pit
Safety first (Avoiding the point of no return where roleplay does become reality)
• If doing a real life roleplay with a longpig with full intentions of playing again later or with a different form of cooking the chef and assistants must ensure the health of the longpig is maintained throughout the roleplay cooking procedure.
• In the case luau roasting a longpig, you will never want to allow the air temperature to rise above 180 degrees F (or 82 degrees C) as above this will cause the internal body temperature of the meat to rise and the brain will start to cook in reality leading to permanent damage and the point of no return. Check with local sauna room regulations and equipment manufacturers.
• Also check with a scratch test each seasoning used and basting on the meat’s hide to verify if there will be an allergic reaction. Some spices will cause severe reactions with some longpig meat and not others.
• Throughout the cooking process monitor the longpigs internal temperature and pulse for stress. Remove heat source if the pulse gets too high or the meat temp rises above 101 F (38.3C).
• Know your meat. Does he have high or low blood pressure, any diseases which can hurt you or similarly does anyone of the chef and assistants have diseases which can hurt the meat. Be clear and compassionate and everyone will have fun.
• If using a hoist in your roleplay or suspension, ensure the meat is not vertical for longer than its heart can stand. Training of the meat will increase this time interval. Initially start at 10 to 15 minutes while monitoring the meat hide color. Raise the meat from waist to a level position to allow the heart to move the blood around and then after a few minutes let the meat hang again.
• When using suspension, ensure the tendons of the hands and / or feet are not being pulled or crushed. Good cuffs will tighten around and draw support the meat by the muscle and bone. Also ensure proper blood circulation in the feet and hands.
• Always have a plan to remove the heat sources quickly or the meat quickly if the longpig is in distress or a point of no return may ensue and then you have other logistics to consider
• Always have a plan to in bind or release the longpig if the meat is in too much distress where harm can result so the point of no return is not passed
• Read and be aware of all warnings and cautions for all tools and equipment used in your roleplay
Another very visual and often refered method of cooking longpig is the luau pit. This is used for real pigs in full configuration and has easily been used for cooking longpig in reality.
Essentially the chef will need to have created a pit in the earth the length of the longpig and a bit more, or burry a metal trough in the ground. The pit / trough should be deep enough to accommodate the longpig which will be placed on its belly and laid flat with arms tied to its sides on a grill which is supported above hot rocks. It is adviced in roleplay to have the rocks at least 6 inches to a foot away from the grill this is a safety situation to prevent burns and real cooking. The ankles should be tied together and hams lashed together.
A removable cover will need to be constructed similar to the metal trough bake / roast / smoker oven. Since the chef is doing a roleplay the meat needs to be monitored for internal temperature and any skin burning. In a luau situation of reality, the longpig is placed directly on the rocks, covered, and then the pit is buried in earth for hours while the meat cooks slowly.
In this roleplay, the longpig should definitely be blind folded to keep the illusion of being buried and it would be good to use ear plugs as well.
A small fan should be placed at one end of the pit blowing air in to keep the meat from suffocating. Leave another opening at the other end of the pit for the air to leave.
Remove all hair from the longpig.
Clean the meat with anti-bacterial soap.
Tenderize the meat if needed.
Choose a recipe which will complement the longpig you have to work with. The spices, fruits, and vegetable added to longpig and the liquid choices will make a baste which can actually be used later in real cooking.
Fully baste the meat as the chef will not easily be able to flip the meat when it is cooking.
The tricky and eye opening part of the roleplay comes next. Using a bon fire, heat rocks to a good heat. Since they will be quite hot, this should be done well in advance of the cooking time. The chef will need to remove the rocks from the bon fire and place them evenly along the bottom of the pit. For the less heat tolerant longpig and first time chef for this roleplay place the rocks only along the sides of the pit and none directly below the meat’s position.
Check the temperature of the rocks with an infrared temperature measure or oven thermometer. When they are within the safety temperature denoted in the safety section above, place the grill on quickly and lay your bound longpig face down on the grill.
The environment should be like a very warm sauna to the meat. Then cover and with an oven remote thermometer watch the air temp.
A small fan should be placed at one end of the pit blowing air in to keep the meat from suffocating. Leave another opening at the other end of the pit for the air to leave.
Since this is a roleplay, liberally baste the meat and flip the meat each half hour and rebaste the new side. Add more rocks to the edges of the pit as needed to maintain a hot but safe temperature.
Remove the meat when red and sweaty and the desired time has passed.
