About me

[Elimnyama]

I've spent two days trying to figure out what to say.

See, I'm not suicidal. I don't have low self-esteem. I don't particularly want to die.

But I'm also not homicidal. I'm a pagan who tries to live by the Wiccan Rede. I'm not fanatical about it or anything, but all life is inherently sacred to me.

So why do these things fascinate me so? Stories of eroticized, fetishized deaths, darkly erotic images or movies of men in their final throes?

I hven't felt this much inner conflict since I realized I was gay. But I can't run from it either.

I might not be able to contribute much, but I feel I need to explore this part of me that gets a grim thrill out of watching death in action. If you're willing to bear with me while I do that, then thank you.

 

[PiercedChest]

I recognize many things you say here, Elimnyama.
I have felt the same when I started to 'explore this part of me', and I haven't been sorry.
I've found that indulging in fantasies about death has enriched my life, allowing me to satisfy this urge in a harmless way.
I hope it will work like this for you too.

 

[Mattai]

Well, first, .

Take your time and explore the many forums that are offered here. Take part in discussions and post your thoughts when you are comfortable, or even in private messages, if you feel more inclined to chat off the boards, at first. Let this be both enjoyable and educational for you at your, where you can look at and contemplate ideas which may turn out to be of interest to you.

It's certainly possible that, in time, the answers the questions you have may come about from what you learn here from the thoughts of and discussions with, other members.

 

[Elimnyama]

Thanks guys. I sincerely appreciate the warm welcome.

I'll be in lurk mode for a while yet, but knowing that there are people who've been where I am about all this makes it easier.