livingdeadman20
Forum Regular
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2016
- Messages
- 148
- Location
- Florida
This is going to be a pretty personal and gloomy and long story, but I thought you all might enjoy hearing it. I'm not posting this to get advice or anything, but I just wanted to get my story of this out there.
I made a YouTube video about this too...
If you don't feel like watching the video, here's what happened:
I use to live in Wisconsin. Back in year 2013, when I was 17 years old, I was working a retail job at the mall that i HATED with a passion. I wanted to quit but my adoptive parents made me get the job and were making me keep the job. They told me that if I quit, they would kick me out of the house, and since i'm a type 1 diabetic, if i ended up homeless, i would have no access to insulin and I would die in 5-8 days from diabetic ketoacidosis.
But i was still miserable at the job. Every time i mentioned that I wanted to quit, my adoptive mother would get pissed off and yell at me not to quit or she'd kick me out. In summer of 2014 i tried suicide because I hated the job so much, but it didn't work. So in summer of 2015, when I was 19 years old, i was still working the job and still hated it, even though they cut me down to 10 hours a week.
I didn't want to try killing myself again, so I just decided that I should run away. I still would not have survived because I would have became homeless and would have died of no insulin but I didn't care at all. So I posted an ad on craigslist saying that I was miserable and that I wanted to runaway forever and I was looking for someone to give me a ride someplace far away.
I included these pictures of me on the ad too:
I also had my phone number listed on the ad also.
I then got a call from a stranger who saw my craigslist ad. He sounded exactly like the killer from the scream movies, he told me that he saw my craigslist ad and he felt sorry for me because it seemed like i was going through a rough time, and he said that he was coming through Wisconsin and he was on his way to Arkansas and if I wanted, he would take me there and drop me off there.
I said yes, and then he told me to meet him an abandoned grocery store parking lot at 1 a.m. and that he would be driving a black van.
So that night, I thought a lot about Arkansas, and I figured since I thought I was going to runaway and die there, I might as well try googling some gloomy stuff that has happened there and I came across this:
^ The Union County Jane Doe... but she always said her name was 'Mercedes'. She was a prostitute who drifted around the Texas and Arkansas area. She was shot in killed by her pimp in a motel room in 1991 in Arkansas. They have no idea who she really was or where she came from.
I thought if it wasn't for my diabetes killing me after being homeless in Arkansas for a few days, that I would have ended up just like her. I have done prostitution before years before this (but i NEVER suck cock or take it up the ass in case you're all wondering...)
I also knew that if I would have died in Arkansas, I would be unidentified since I don't know anyone in Arkansas (except for one girl I went to highschool with a long time ago but i doubt she would have recognized me)
I also found this:
^ An African american woman was found dead in a creek bed in Arkansas in February 1994. She was murdered and had died from multiple gunshot wounds. She was naked from the waist down and was wearing a red sweater with gold stars.
She was unidentified and was listed as a Jane Doe, (but in year 2017, she finally was identified, her name was Cynthia)
I always felt that this case was very haunting and sad. (all of these are sad really.) there's something very haunting about the sweater she was wearing. It's red, all my shirts i ever wear are red too. And also, February (the month she was murdered) is also the same month I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, the very thing i would have died of in Arkansas.
She was also buried in the cemetery as a Jane Doe/Unidentified decedent, exactly like I would have been....
And then there's this:
^her name was Morgan. She was a little girl who went missing in Arkansas back in summer of 1995. What happened was, she was at a baseball field late at night at a little league game with her parents. She was catching fire flies with her friends, and later on she was last seen sitting inside of the car dumping sand out of her shoes. Then her friends said that they saw a quote-on-quote "creepy man" walk over to her and start talking to her, he was also standing next to a red truck.
here's a sketch of him:
Her friends saw him talking to her, they then looked away and when they looked back, the creepy man, the red truck, and Morgan were gone. To this day they still don't know what happened to her or who the man was.
This case was also very haunting... it happened in year 1995.. I WAS BORN IN YEAR 1995. She was also taken by a stranger late at night, the same thing that kinda was going to happen with me. Her parents also never found out what happened to her, exactly like my adoptive parents would have never found out where I went either.
HERE'S WHAT I THOUGHT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN: He was going to pick me up from the parking lot, take me down to Arkansas, drop me off in a huge abandoned field out in the middle of no where in Arkansas where I would wander around aimlessly until I collapse and die of either dehydration or diabetic ketoacidosis. Then my body would be found (if it was ever found) and would be unidentified and buried in an Arkansas Cemetery as John Doe. My adoptive parents would realize I was missing and would never know what had happened to me at all. Meanwhile, my ghost/spirit would be set free and would go to heaven and be reunited with my uncle again.
I walked out of the house late at night. This is what I was wearing, no shirt, red shorts, and my red bandanna (I wanted to be dressed that way so my uncle would recognize me in heaven):
I went to the abandoned grocery store parking lot. I got there right in time (he wanted me to meet him there at 1 am),
here's a video of me at the abandoned grocery store parking lot, not on the night this happened, but on a day I decided to go back there to film this:
(skip to @1:18, if you want to pass the whole backstory texts in the video...)
I arrived at the parking lot right on time. It was VERY dark in the parking lot, but I saw the black van.
HERE'S WHERE IT GET WEIRD:
I walked over to the van and then the headlights turned on. I saw the driver of the van, he looked right into my eyes, and he looked absolutely terrified... I was really shocked and confused, but then i heard his engine start up and then he speed past me and left me there...
I WAS FURIOUS!
I was so angry! That was my only chance to ditching my adoptive parents forever and leaving forever, and he just drove off and left. I WAS SO PISSED OFF! he told me he was going to take me away but he didn't. To this day it still pisses me off thinking about it. I had no idea why he freaked out like that anyway -_-
Eventually i did end up quitting the job a few months after that. my adoptive parents found out, some fucked up stuff happened, and now I am living in Florida with my adoptive parents relatives... most likely never going to see them again, but i don't give a toss at all.
and i'm also trying to get on SSI/Disability due to my diagnosis of Autism, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and type 1 diabetes (which also affects my mind...). I also kinda become obsessed with Arkansas because of this.
Anyway, what do you all think of this? and why do you think he freaked out and drove off and left without taking me?
THERE'S ALSO SOMETHING ELSE!
about a year and half after all of this, i found this song on YouTube. It's an 80s song, Cruel Summer by Bananarama...
I listened to all of the lyrics and it reminds me exactly of everything that was going on here...
Every time i hear that haunting xylophone melody in the song, I immediately think of Arkansas...
♫ Hot summer streets
And the pavements are burning
I sit around ♫
^that verse reminded me of how bored and uncomfortable I was at the job "i sit around" "hot summer streets and the pavements are burning"...
♫ Trying to smile
But the air is so heavy and dry ♫
^to me, that part means how i was trying to stay positive at the job and not be negative, but that did not work...
♫ Strange voices are saying
(What did they say?)
Things I can't understand
It's too close for comfort
This heat has got right out of hand ♫
the customers at the job were very rude, my manager was really bossy and demanding, so were the customers. i was MISERABLE there and felt like dying, and it really was getting out of hand. and really did feel "too close for comfort"..
♫ It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer ♫
this happened during the summer.
♫ Leaving me here on my own ♫
he was going to leave me in Arkansas to die...
♫ It's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
Now you're gone ♫
i would been gone forever... 500 miles away in a paupers graveyard, unidentified.
♫ The city is crowded
My friends are away
And I'm on my own ♫
crowded days on the job were the worst. the people were all so bitchy and rude.
"my friends are away" my uncle passed away in 2012, and another lover i had in 2013 died of a drug overdose in 2013. and i was on my own.
♫ It's too hard to handle
So I got to get up and go ♫
I posted the ad on craigslist wanting to run away...
♫ It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
Leaving me here on my own
It's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
Now you're gone
You're not the only one ♫
"You're not the only one", meaning i'm not the only one who died or went missing in Arkansas... the prostitute who was murdered by her pimp, the woman with the red sweater who was found shot to death in a creek bed, and the little girl who was kidnapped at the park.
They all died or went missing in Arkansas, exactly as I would have been.
it was kinda eerie how every single verse of that song fit my situation to a T... I love the song, but it still gives me the chills whenever i listen to it.
I made a YouTube video about this too...
If you don't feel like watching the video, here's what happened:
I use to live in Wisconsin. Back in year 2013, when I was 17 years old, I was working a retail job at the mall that i HATED with a passion. I wanted to quit but my adoptive parents made me get the job and were making me keep the job. They told me that if I quit, they would kick me out of the house, and since i'm a type 1 diabetic, if i ended up homeless, i would have no access to insulin and I would die in 5-8 days from diabetic ketoacidosis.
But i was still miserable at the job. Every time i mentioned that I wanted to quit, my adoptive mother would get pissed off and yell at me not to quit or she'd kick me out. In summer of 2014 i tried suicide because I hated the job so much, but it didn't work. So in summer of 2015, when I was 19 years old, i was still working the job and still hated it, even though they cut me down to 10 hours a week.
I didn't want to try killing myself again, so I just decided that I should run away. I still would not have survived because I would have became homeless and would have died of no insulin but I didn't care at all. So I posted an ad on craigslist saying that I was miserable and that I wanted to runaway forever and I was looking for someone to give me a ride someplace far away.
I included these pictures of me on the ad too:
I also had my phone number listed on the ad also.
I then got a call from a stranger who saw my craigslist ad. He sounded exactly like the killer from the scream movies, he told me that he saw my craigslist ad and he felt sorry for me because it seemed like i was going through a rough time, and he said that he was coming through Wisconsin and he was on his way to Arkansas and if I wanted, he would take me there and drop me off there.
I said yes, and then he told me to meet him an abandoned grocery store parking lot at 1 a.m. and that he would be driving a black van.
So that night, I thought a lot about Arkansas, and I figured since I thought I was going to runaway and die there, I might as well try googling some gloomy stuff that has happened there and I came across this:
^ The Union County Jane Doe... but she always said her name was 'Mercedes'. She was a prostitute who drifted around the Texas and Arkansas area. She was shot in killed by her pimp in a motel room in 1991 in Arkansas. They have no idea who she really was or where she came from.
I thought if it wasn't for my diabetes killing me after being homeless in Arkansas for a few days, that I would have ended up just like her. I have done prostitution before years before this (but i NEVER suck cock or take it up the ass in case you're all wondering...)
I also knew that if I would have died in Arkansas, I would be unidentified since I don't know anyone in Arkansas (except for one girl I went to highschool with a long time ago but i doubt she would have recognized me)
I also found this:
^ An African american woman was found dead in a creek bed in Arkansas in February 1994. She was murdered and had died from multiple gunshot wounds. She was naked from the waist down and was wearing a red sweater with gold stars.
She was unidentified and was listed as a Jane Doe, (but in year 2017, she finally was identified, her name was Cynthia)
I always felt that this case was very haunting and sad. (all of these are sad really.) there's something very haunting about the sweater she was wearing. It's red, all my shirts i ever wear are red too. And also, February (the month she was murdered) is also the same month I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, the very thing i would have died of in Arkansas.
She was also buried in the cemetery as a Jane Doe/Unidentified decedent, exactly like I would have been....
And then there's this:
^her name was Morgan. She was a little girl who went missing in Arkansas back in summer of 1995. What happened was, she was at a baseball field late at night at a little league game with her parents. She was catching fire flies with her friends, and later on she was last seen sitting inside of the car dumping sand out of her shoes. Then her friends said that they saw a quote-on-quote "creepy man" walk over to her and start talking to her, he was also standing next to a red truck.
here's a sketch of him:
Her friends saw him talking to her, they then looked away and when they looked back, the creepy man, the red truck, and Morgan were gone. To this day they still don't know what happened to her or who the man was.
This case was also very haunting... it happened in year 1995.. I WAS BORN IN YEAR 1995. She was also taken by a stranger late at night, the same thing that kinda was going to happen with me. Her parents also never found out what happened to her, exactly like my adoptive parents would have never found out where I went either.
HERE'S WHAT I THOUGHT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN: He was going to pick me up from the parking lot, take me down to Arkansas, drop me off in a huge abandoned field out in the middle of no where in Arkansas where I would wander around aimlessly until I collapse and die of either dehydration or diabetic ketoacidosis. Then my body would be found (if it was ever found) and would be unidentified and buried in an Arkansas Cemetery as John Doe. My adoptive parents would realize I was missing and would never know what had happened to me at all. Meanwhile, my ghost/spirit would be set free and would go to heaven and be reunited with my uncle again.
I walked out of the house late at night. This is what I was wearing, no shirt, red shorts, and my red bandanna (I wanted to be dressed that way so my uncle would recognize me in heaven):
I went to the abandoned grocery store parking lot. I got there right in time (he wanted me to meet him there at 1 am),
here's a video of me at the abandoned grocery store parking lot, not on the night this happened, but on a day I decided to go back there to film this:
(skip to @1:18, if you want to pass the whole backstory texts in the video...)
I arrived at the parking lot right on time. It was VERY dark in the parking lot, but I saw the black van.
HERE'S WHERE IT GET WEIRD:
I walked over to the van and then the headlights turned on. I saw the driver of the van, he looked right into my eyes, and he looked absolutely terrified... I was really shocked and confused, but then i heard his engine start up and then he speed past me and left me there...
I WAS FURIOUS!
I was so angry! That was my only chance to ditching my adoptive parents forever and leaving forever, and he just drove off and left. I WAS SO PISSED OFF! he told me he was going to take me away but he didn't. To this day it still pisses me off thinking about it. I had no idea why he freaked out like that anyway -_-
Eventually i did end up quitting the job a few months after that. my adoptive parents found out, some fucked up stuff happened, and now I am living in Florida with my adoptive parents relatives... most likely never going to see them again, but i don't give a toss at all.
and i'm also trying to get on SSI/Disability due to my diagnosis of Autism, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, and type 1 diabetes (which also affects my mind...). I also kinda become obsessed with Arkansas because of this.
Anyway, what do you all think of this? and why do you think he freaked out and drove off and left without taking me?
THERE'S ALSO SOMETHING ELSE!
about a year and half after all of this, i found this song on YouTube. It's an 80s song, Cruel Summer by Bananarama...
I listened to all of the lyrics and it reminds me exactly of everything that was going on here...
Every time i hear that haunting xylophone melody in the song, I immediately think of Arkansas...
♫ Hot summer streets
And the pavements are burning
I sit around ♫
^that verse reminded me of how bored and uncomfortable I was at the job "i sit around" "hot summer streets and the pavements are burning"...
♫ Trying to smile
But the air is so heavy and dry ♫
^to me, that part means how i was trying to stay positive at the job and not be negative, but that did not work...
♫ Strange voices are saying
(What did they say?)
Things I can't understand
It's too close for comfort
This heat has got right out of hand ♫
the customers at the job were very rude, my manager was really bossy and demanding, so were the customers. i was MISERABLE there and felt like dying, and it really was getting out of hand. and really did feel "too close for comfort"..
♫ It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer ♫
this happened during the summer.
♫ Leaving me here on my own ♫
he was going to leave me in Arkansas to die...
♫ It's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
Now you're gone ♫
i would been gone forever... 500 miles away in a paupers graveyard, unidentified.
♫ The city is crowded
My friends are away
And I'm on my own ♫
crowded days on the job were the worst. the people were all so bitchy and rude.
"my friends are away" my uncle passed away in 2012, and another lover i had in 2013 died of a drug overdose in 2013. and i was on my own.
♫ It's too hard to handle
So I got to get up and go ♫
I posted the ad on craigslist wanting to run away...
♫ It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer
Leaving me here on my own
It's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer
Now you're gone
You're not the only one ♫
"You're not the only one", meaning i'm not the only one who died or went missing in Arkansas... the prostitute who was murdered by her pimp, the woman with the red sweater who was found shot to death in a creek bed, and the little girl who was kidnapped at the park.
They all died or went missing in Arkansas, exactly as I would have been.
it was kinda eerie how every single verse of that song fit my situation to a T... I love the song, but it still gives me the chills whenever i listen to it.
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