"So this is it ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the first ever edition of Slapstix!" excited commentator Tony boomed, smiling over at his co-commentator Phil as he spoke. Both men were struggling to contain their excitement as they readied themselves for the brand new TV show which would be the highlight of their career.
At first glance, premise was simple enough - 20 arrogant muscle studs taking on a huge obstacle course which spun the entirety of a gigantic complex. It looked like the usual gameshow set up - lots of fun obstacles and barriers, slapstick booby traps and twists. It was the standard harmless fun which made for great weekend TV viewing. The only problem was that it wasn't harmless.
These 20 jocks had been hand picked as the most deserving of some serious karma. And that was exactly what was coming their way. Behind the slapstick guise was actually a brutal assault course which would finish off all but 1 of them. The seemingly harmless traps or inflatable obstacles were actually deadly weapons which would torture and destroy the studs one by one if they made a mistake. And the slapstick nature of the course meant there was no way these jumped up jocks would meet their end with any sort of dignity. They were going to have their perfect lives brutally and embarrassingly cut short live on television.
The best bit was that they had no idea. The show was broadcast on a secret network so the majority of the world didn't even know this was happening. But for those who had a lust for seeing muscle studs getting completely obliterated, they had been counting down the days to this. Backstage, the 20 unlucky participants were stretching and warming up. Although it seemed like a laugh and a fun TV gameshow, many of them took it very seriously as the winner had been promised "a prize you can't put a price on". What they didn't know was that the "prize" was just being able to survive, if the complex didn't finish them off anyway. The men came from all walks of life but figured a prize this good was worth going through a bit of humiliation on a family gameshow.
The complex was vast and endless and the 20 hunks would be blindfolded and deposited in a random zone somewhere in the complex. Their aim was to find their way out and back into the studio through the so-called "Magic Door". Only one of these doors existed, hidden deep in the complex so it would be quite a task to find it. During their hunt, the jocks would face all sorts of obstacles. They'd been promised challenging but harmless tasks which might dent their ego a bit. They had no idea the complex was a brutal combination of a kids' cartoon and a horror film.
Tony and Phil would be watching the madness unfold on their monitors and providing commentary on what was going on. They had met all 20 contestants personally and so had particular favorites they wanted to meet very nasty ends.
Soon the time had come and the unsuspecting hunks were blindfolded and deposited into various booths across the course. They were locked in there and we're now able to take off their blindfolds.
"OK, here we go!" Tony said, bouncing up and down on his chair. "The useless pieces of meat... sorry, I mean the contestants are in their booths! Any minute now the doors will unlock and they'll take their first steps out into a living nightmare."
"You can definitely feel the tension," Phil said. "Neither me nor Tony had any input on the course so we literally have no idea what's going to happen!"
They waited with baited breath until finally the doors opened and the 20 studs stepped out, readjusting their eyes to check out their surroundings.
http://wrangler09.tumblr.com/image/121843177425
19 year old Luke drew the short straw as he walked out of his booth. Not only was the soon-to-be dad toned and good looking but he had also set up his own company at a young age - his own underwear firm. He was hoping for a cash prize to inject into his business and was using the show to model one of his brands of underwear, strutting about in the tight pants now.
"This guy's turned his unbelievable vanity into a business so you've got to commend him for that," Phil said. "It's just a shame he's so fucking arrogant about it. I mean, wearing your own brand of underwear to a family gameshow? What a prick."
When interviewing him, they had certainly been surprised that he appeared to have at least one brain cell, something which was completely lacking in a lot of the other contestants.
That was to be of no consolation to Luke now though as he stepped out into the science fiction zone. Mere seconds after the hunk strutted out, an alarm rung out and a lazer beam shot up from the floor, frazzling the guy's enormous cock in a matter of seconds. The fabric of his underwear melted and he was left with a gaping, steaming hole where his once impressive manhood had been.
As Luke let out an ungodly scream of agony, Tony and Phil had their mouths agape.
"Well, well! I wasn't expecting that!" Tony exclaimed. "I thought they'd give the poor guys a couple of minutes of respite before the torture and death began but this waste of space has lost his dick already and we're only 30 seconds in!"
"It's literally been frazzled," Phil laughed. "That guy's in a lot of pain right now!"
Luke keeled over on the floor. He wasn't screaming anymore but tears were gushing out of his eyes.
"Fuck, somebody help me!" he yelled, thinking there had been some sort of malfunction. He was in complete denial and shock that he had just lost his beloved dick. Curling up in a ball, he continued to wince in pain as Tony and Phil cut across to see how some of the other studs were doing.
Sexy stud Jamie was having a great time. Dressed just in tight blue speedos, he was in the jungle zone and was doing his best Tarzan impression, his first obstacle involving him swinging from tree to tree on large vines. Every now and then he gave a cheeky wink or smirk to one of the cameras.
http://wrangler09.tumblr.com/post/118799277270/allanspiers-chase-savoie-www-allanspiers-com
"What a vain twat!" Phil angrily said. "Let's hope the jungle chews him up and spits him out."
Elsewhere, Jake was in the bakery zone and wasn't having a great time as he had to dodge cream pies and cakes being thrown at him. Phil and Tony had noticed this guy had been really quiet and certainly seemed to be taking the whole thing very seriously. He had a quiet aloofness about him and the commentators were laughing as he was clearly hating being covered in cream and mess. Jake had expected a certain amount of humiliation on a family gameshow but was hating this, figuring his friends would be watching and laughing. He just had to keep focused on the prize.
http://wrangler09.tumblr.com/image/121944849800
With him being so subdued and quiet, the commentators both hoped to see him meet a sticky end to see if it would break his calm demeanour. Certainly his standoffish attitude did him no favors and most of the watching audience were also hoping he met his doom in here. It certainly wasn't looking good for Jake.
The next stud they turned to was Ricci. If anyone personified the saying "thick as pig shit", it was definitely this guy. Phil and Tony had instantly hated him as he was the vainest of the bunch, and that was saying something. He was constantly checking his reflection and bragging about his body and how many shags he'd racked up over the years. On top of that, he was just so unbelievably stupid. Phil and Tony had consoled themselves by knowing this idiotic stud couldn't last long on the course and it looked as though they were about to be proved right.
Ricci had been deposited in the garden zone which had so far just involved him running across a lawn to avoid getting soaked by sprinklers, though he thought this was laughably bad as he enjoyed getting soaked and his hunky body glistening in the fake sunlight.
http://wrangler09.tumblr.com/image/118280798840
As he got deeper into the garden, he hit some soil and was less impressed as it oozes over his feet. The vain guy hated the slightest bit of mess and wasn't happy at all.
"Look at his face!" Tony laughed. "If he can't handle a bit of soil on his feet, fuck knows how he'll react when his worthless life is being snuffed out!"
After crossing the soil, Ricci reached three bins. He didn't know it yet but these three bins would decide if he lived or he died. His instruction was simple - he had to choose a bin and get inside. If he selected the correct bin, he would be allowed to continue. If not, he'd be 'punished'.
"What the fuck?" Ricci muttered under his breath. He was pretty sick of this now. He was a talented model and was beginning to wonder if putting himself through this humiliation on a gameshow was worth it. With a sigh, he picked the middle bin and clambered inside, his tight bubble butt rubbing against the edges as he squeezed inside. The bin was very small and Ricci was left in complete darkness as the lid flipped over. Tony flicked the night cam on so they could see Ricci's furious expression. He didn't know he was still being filmed.
"This is a fucking joke..." he was muttering to himself.
"I've got a feeling our first grisly demise could be coming up!" Phil yelled excitedly. It seemed he was right. Ricci had selected the wrong bin and a loud buzzer sounded to signify his incorrect choice. Ricci let out a sigh and decided he'd had enough.
"Fuck this!" he said before going to clamber out. However, he found that the lid had been completely bolted, meaning he was trapped. Ricci banged on it repeatedly and his expression began to change.
"He knows something's wrong!" Tony laughed. "Though I doubt he knows he's experiencing the last few moments of his worthless existence!"
Ricci was getting seriously worried now, repeatedly banging and shaking the bin. Finally, a small screw on top was opened. Ricci sighed in relief.
"Let me out you fucking head case!" he screeched. "You know this is illegal right?"
However, the only response he got was a small hosepipe being pushed through the hole. Before a confused Ricci could start mouthing off again, a wave of brown liquid surged out of the pipe, covering his handsome face and cascading down his body.
"I don't think poor Ricci is in any old bin!" Tony said. "I think he's found himself in one of the garden's compost bins!"
Sure enough, mud, dead insects and animal shit had been mixed together into a slurry type substance which was now being pumped into the bin at great speed. Ricci gagged and choked as it covered him and the bin began to fill up. Tony and Phil assumed the jock was going to be drowned in the stuff but it seemed there was another twist in store.
Ricci was just going to drown in compost - he was going to become compost. As such, the bin began to compress. Howling as he was swamped in the gloop, Ricci suddenly looked horrified as he realized the bin was starting to fold in on itself. He tried to scream out but just got a mouthful of shit for his troubles.
"Look at his face! The dumbass knows he's in big trouble now!" yelled Phil.
Ricci frantically writhed but it was getting harder as the compost mix was up to his stomach now. The space was getting smaller and smaller and Ricci was being contorted into a tiny position. He could feel his bones crackling from the unnatural position and was seriously panicking as he got the sickening feeling he was going to die.
"Perhaps the phrase shit scared is a good way to describe how this jock is feeling right now!" Phil chuckled as Ricci was forced into a ball, the wave of compost now splattering the back of his head. He basically had his plunged into his own shit-covered crotch now and this was the humiliating position the idiotic muscle stud would die in.
Still the bin continued to compress until finally the camera lost its connection. Tony connected to the camera just outside and they heard a final muffled scream from Ricci before the bin compressed fully. There was the sound of splintering bones and something cracking, much like the shell of an egg.
"I guess that's his skull gone!" said Tony. "That pretty face is just a mashed up pulp now."
Sure enough, a gardener soon arrived and poured the compost into a wheelbarrow. Mixed in with the mud and shit was oozing blood and gooey splatterings of Ricci's tiny brain. The stupid pile of shit was now exactly that.
"One down, eighteen to go!" said Tony, delighted that nobody would have to suffer that jock's sheer stupidity ever again. He definitely wouldn't be missed.
Tony and Phil wouldn't have to wait long for another hunk to meet their much-deserved fate as Jamie's Tarzan impression was going to have a gruesome ending. The ripped hunk was still swinging from vine to vine and even his huge arms were starting to get a bit tired. He tried not to let it show for the cameras but the beads of sweat on his head gave him away. In reality, there were hundreds of the vines because the intention was that poser Jamie would get tired and fall down, where sheer terror awaited him.
Eventually this happened. Jamie was furious with himself as one of the vines snapped and the half naked stud fell down. The 2 second fall would be the last time Jamie's hunky body was pain-free as he landed ass first into a specially positioned cactus field. The arrogant stud got the shock of his life when he landed on a huge cactus which plunged up his ass like the most painful dildo imaginable.
"Fuck me, that's gotta hurt!" Phil yelled as the cactus ripped the stud's ass cheeks open and embedded its spikes up his anus. Jamie's lungs almost burst as he was screaming so much. He was literally impaled on the cactus and the more he writhed, the more his ass felt as if it were on fire. He managed to bend over enough to touch the ground and yank himself free, resulting in him rolling on the floor, cursing and howling in agony. He thought this was supposed to be a family gameshow! He guessed it had just been an accident but was wondering why staff weren't rushing to help him.
He continued to moan as his no longer virgin ass throbbed in pain. He managed to drag himself over to a nearby tree, his face contorted in agony. For all his bragging about being a tough guy, this stud did not take pain well. Tony and Phil just sat in silence, knowing something was probably coming but not knowing when or what it would be.
They soon got their answer as the roots from the tree began to rise up from the ground. Jamie looked around in horror and confusion as they began to wrap around his body. He tried to struggle but they tightly wrapped round him.
"Somebody help me!" he screamed, as he started to think something was very wrong. His true nightmare hadn't even started yet though as a series of roots shot up from underneath him and penetrated his already destroyed ass.
Phil and Tony clapped their hands as Jamie let out an inhuman squeal. The roots kept feeding up his ass, completely ripping his bubble butt apart. The movement was just unbearable. Jamie couldn't believe he was being raped by a tree! The roots continued to move up his body and Jamie writhed as he felt the mechanical roots rip through his insides. Then, with no warning whatsoever, they ripped out of his gut. Blood, guts and flesh flew out everywhere as the roots then contorted around and plunged back through Jamie's face, ripping his head open.
By now, the suave stud was just a mass of goo on the floor and the roots didn't stop until he was completely obliterated.
"What an amazing death for a jumped up twat!" Phil laughed. Tony nodded in agreement. They were only two deaths in and this was already sensational. Neither of the commentators were sure if they could hold their load for 16 more!
There wasn't much time to dwell on it though as another stud was in big trouble. Young football jock Brett had been deposited in the zone which perhaps best summed up slapstick. It was a similar setting to the Road Runner cartoon, with large cliffs and rickety bridges. The naive fool had thought it looked pretty fun and had enjoyed testing his balance on the wobbly bridge and avoiding the TNT which exploded in a plume of smoke on occasion. However, the fun wouldn't last long.
For a football jock, Tony and Phil had found him to be quite a nice guy but their lust to see doomed studs get obliterated was greater than their sense of morality. Hot Brett had to die. Besides, the sadistic nature of the show meant nice guys had to suffer too. It wasn't just arrogant jerks who had invited to play along.
http://wrangler09.tumblr.com/post/111980003915/michaelhallenbeckphoto-tyler-gattuso-by-michael
Because the show was studio based, it was
difficult to have huge cliffs like on the cartoon so having Brett plunge to his death wasn't really an option. And indeed, Slapstix was a much more creative show than that. Jamie's cactus dildo had gone down a treat so it was fitting that Brett would have something equally horrific plowed into his bubble butt.
Brett had to be out of action for his planned demise to work though so a traditional slapstick fall would still be needed. As the cocky stud balanced on another rickety bridge, he was stunned when it suddenly tipped, sending him flying into the chasm below.
He let out a cry but wasn't too worried as he thought he'd get a soft landing - he was wrong. He slammed onto the dusty ground and shrieked in agony as just about every bone in his body cracked and broke. His boyish good looks were mangled and the sporty jock was completely paralyzed.
"The poor guy's crying like a baby!" Phil giggled. "He knows his sporting career is over!"
"It won't be the only thing that's over soon..." Tony chipped in.
Unable to move and with his body just in pure pain from top to bottom, a weakened Brett called for help. Finally a stagehand walked on.
"Thank God!" Brett gushed. "I need to get to hospital, I'm in so much fucking pain!"
However, the stagehand said nothing, instead taking out a stick of dynamite. As a confused Brett watched, the stagehand rammed it with force into his bubble butt. Brett screamed as his previously untouched asshole was penetrated. He swore at the stagehand in pain and confusion wondering why the fuck he wasn't being helped.
His confusion turned to terror as he heard a match being lit before the stagehand hurried off. Brett screamed at him to come back and tried to see what was going on but his neck wouldn't move and his arms were broken. He had a suspicion of what was happening though and simply screamed in terror.
Seconds later, the stick of dynamite (and Brett) exploded, sending a shower of gloop all over the cavern.
"When he woke up this morning, I wonder if he thought he'd finish the day with a stick of dynamite in his hole!" Phil giggled.
Tony laughed as the show cut to a commercial break. There were still many studs to be dispatched and Slapstix was proving that the best way to do that was with the least dignity possible. The commentators couldn't wait for more!
At first glance, premise was simple enough - 20 arrogant muscle studs taking on a huge obstacle course which spun the entirety of a gigantic complex. It looked like the usual gameshow set up - lots of fun obstacles and barriers, slapstick booby traps and twists. It was the standard harmless fun which made for great weekend TV viewing. The only problem was that it wasn't harmless.
These 20 jocks had been hand picked as the most deserving of some serious karma. And that was exactly what was coming their way. Behind the slapstick guise was actually a brutal assault course which would finish off all but 1 of them. The seemingly harmless traps or inflatable obstacles were actually deadly weapons which would torture and destroy the studs one by one if they made a mistake. And the slapstick nature of the course meant there was no way these jumped up jocks would meet their end with any sort of dignity. They were going to have their perfect lives brutally and embarrassingly cut short live on television.
The best bit was that they had no idea. The show was broadcast on a secret network so the majority of the world didn't even know this was happening. But for those who had a lust for seeing muscle studs getting completely obliterated, they had been counting down the days to this. Backstage, the 20 unlucky participants were stretching and warming up. Although it seemed like a laugh and a fun TV gameshow, many of them took it very seriously as the winner had been promised "a prize you can't put a price on". What they didn't know was that the "prize" was just being able to survive, if the complex didn't finish them off anyway. The men came from all walks of life but figured a prize this good was worth going through a bit of humiliation on a family gameshow.
The complex was vast and endless and the 20 hunks would be blindfolded and deposited in a random zone somewhere in the complex. Their aim was to find their way out and back into the studio through the so-called "Magic Door". Only one of these doors existed, hidden deep in the complex so it would be quite a task to find it. During their hunt, the jocks would face all sorts of obstacles. They'd been promised challenging but harmless tasks which might dent their ego a bit. They had no idea the complex was a brutal combination of a kids' cartoon and a horror film.
Tony and Phil would be watching the madness unfold on their monitors and providing commentary on what was going on. They had met all 20 contestants personally and so had particular favorites they wanted to meet very nasty ends.
Soon the time had come and the unsuspecting hunks were blindfolded and deposited into various booths across the course. They were locked in there and we're now able to take off their blindfolds.
"OK, here we go!" Tony said, bouncing up and down on his chair. "The useless pieces of meat... sorry, I mean the contestants are in their booths! Any minute now the doors will unlock and they'll take their first steps out into a living nightmare."
"You can definitely feel the tension," Phil said. "Neither me nor Tony had any input on the course so we literally have no idea what's going to happen!"
They waited with baited breath until finally the doors opened and the 20 studs stepped out, readjusting their eyes to check out their surroundings.
http://wrangler09.tumblr.com/image/121843177425
19 year old Luke drew the short straw as he walked out of his booth. Not only was the soon-to-be dad toned and good looking but he had also set up his own company at a young age - his own underwear firm. He was hoping for a cash prize to inject into his business and was using the show to model one of his brands of underwear, strutting about in the tight pants now.
"This guy's turned his unbelievable vanity into a business so you've got to commend him for that," Phil said. "It's just a shame he's so fucking arrogant about it. I mean, wearing your own brand of underwear to a family gameshow? What a prick."
When interviewing him, they had certainly been surprised that he appeared to have at least one brain cell, something which was completely lacking in a lot of the other contestants.
That was to be of no consolation to Luke now though as he stepped out into the science fiction zone. Mere seconds after the hunk strutted out, an alarm rung out and a lazer beam shot up from the floor, frazzling the guy's enormous cock in a matter of seconds. The fabric of his underwear melted and he was left with a gaping, steaming hole where his once impressive manhood had been.
As Luke let out an ungodly scream of agony, Tony and Phil had their mouths agape.
"Well, well! I wasn't expecting that!" Tony exclaimed. "I thought they'd give the poor guys a couple of minutes of respite before the torture and death began but this waste of space has lost his dick already and we're only 30 seconds in!"
"It's literally been frazzled," Phil laughed. "That guy's in a lot of pain right now!"
Luke keeled over on the floor. He wasn't screaming anymore but tears were gushing out of his eyes.
"Fuck, somebody help me!" he yelled, thinking there had been some sort of malfunction. He was in complete denial and shock that he had just lost his beloved dick. Curling up in a ball, he continued to wince in pain as Tony and Phil cut across to see how some of the other studs were doing.
Sexy stud Jamie was having a great time. Dressed just in tight blue speedos, he was in the jungle zone and was doing his best Tarzan impression, his first obstacle involving him swinging from tree to tree on large vines. Every now and then he gave a cheeky wink or smirk to one of the cameras.
http://wrangler09.tumblr.com/post/118799277270/allanspiers-chase-savoie-www-allanspiers-com
"What a vain twat!" Phil angrily said. "Let's hope the jungle chews him up and spits him out."
Elsewhere, Jake was in the bakery zone and wasn't having a great time as he had to dodge cream pies and cakes being thrown at him. Phil and Tony had noticed this guy had been really quiet and certainly seemed to be taking the whole thing very seriously. He had a quiet aloofness about him and the commentators were laughing as he was clearly hating being covered in cream and mess. Jake had expected a certain amount of humiliation on a family gameshow but was hating this, figuring his friends would be watching and laughing. He just had to keep focused on the prize.
http://wrangler09.tumblr.com/image/121944849800
With him being so subdued and quiet, the commentators both hoped to see him meet a sticky end to see if it would break his calm demeanour. Certainly his standoffish attitude did him no favors and most of the watching audience were also hoping he met his doom in here. It certainly wasn't looking good for Jake.
The next stud they turned to was Ricci. If anyone personified the saying "thick as pig shit", it was definitely this guy. Phil and Tony had instantly hated him as he was the vainest of the bunch, and that was saying something. He was constantly checking his reflection and bragging about his body and how many shags he'd racked up over the years. On top of that, he was just so unbelievably stupid. Phil and Tony had consoled themselves by knowing this idiotic stud couldn't last long on the course and it looked as though they were about to be proved right.
Ricci had been deposited in the garden zone which had so far just involved him running across a lawn to avoid getting soaked by sprinklers, though he thought this was laughably bad as he enjoyed getting soaked and his hunky body glistening in the fake sunlight.
http://wrangler09.tumblr.com/image/118280798840
As he got deeper into the garden, he hit some soil and was less impressed as it oozes over his feet. The vain guy hated the slightest bit of mess and wasn't happy at all.
"Look at his face!" Tony laughed. "If he can't handle a bit of soil on his feet, fuck knows how he'll react when his worthless life is being snuffed out!"
After crossing the soil, Ricci reached three bins. He didn't know it yet but these three bins would decide if he lived or he died. His instruction was simple - he had to choose a bin and get inside. If he selected the correct bin, he would be allowed to continue. If not, he'd be 'punished'.
"What the fuck?" Ricci muttered under his breath. He was pretty sick of this now. He was a talented model and was beginning to wonder if putting himself through this humiliation on a gameshow was worth it. With a sigh, he picked the middle bin and clambered inside, his tight bubble butt rubbing against the edges as he squeezed inside. The bin was very small and Ricci was left in complete darkness as the lid flipped over. Tony flicked the night cam on so they could see Ricci's furious expression. He didn't know he was still being filmed.
"This is a fucking joke..." he was muttering to himself.
"I've got a feeling our first grisly demise could be coming up!" Phil yelled excitedly. It seemed he was right. Ricci had selected the wrong bin and a loud buzzer sounded to signify his incorrect choice. Ricci let out a sigh and decided he'd had enough.
"Fuck this!" he said before going to clamber out. However, he found that the lid had been completely bolted, meaning he was trapped. Ricci banged on it repeatedly and his expression began to change.
"He knows something's wrong!" Tony laughed. "Though I doubt he knows he's experiencing the last few moments of his worthless existence!"
Ricci was getting seriously worried now, repeatedly banging and shaking the bin. Finally, a small screw on top was opened. Ricci sighed in relief.
"Let me out you fucking head case!" he screeched. "You know this is illegal right?"
However, the only response he got was a small hosepipe being pushed through the hole. Before a confused Ricci could start mouthing off again, a wave of brown liquid surged out of the pipe, covering his handsome face and cascading down his body.
"I don't think poor Ricci is in any old bin!" Tony said. "I think he's found himself in one of the garden's compost bins!"
Sure enough, mud, dead insects and animal shit had been mixed together into a slurry type substance which was now being pumped into the bin at great speed. Ricci gagged and choked as it covered him and the bin began to fill up. Tony and Phil assumed the jock was going to be drowned in the stuff but it seemed there was another twist in store.
Ricci was just going to drown in compost - he was going to become compost. As such, the bin began to compress. Howling as he was swamped in the gloop, Ricci suddenly looked horrified as he realized the bin was starting to fold in on itself. He tried to scream out but just got a mouthful of shit for his troubles.
"Look at his face! The dumbass knows he's in big trouble now!" yelled Phil.
Ricci frantically writhed but it was getting harder as the compost mix was up to his stomach now. The space was getting smaller and smaller and Ricci was being contorted into a tiny position. He could feel his bones crackling from the unnatural position and was seriously panicking as he got the sickening feeling he was going to die.
"Perhaps the phrase shit scared is a good way to describe how this jock is feeling right now!" Phil chuckled as Ricci was forced into a ball, the wave of compost now splattering the back of his head. He basically had his plunged into his own shit-covered crotch now and this was the humiliating position the idiotic muscle stud would die in.
Still the bin continued to compress until finally the camera lost its connection. Tony connected to the camera just outside and they heard a final muffled scream from Ricci before the bin compressed fully. There was the sound of splintering bones and something cracking, much like the shell of an egg.
"I guess that's his skull gone!" said Tony. "That pretty face is just a mashed up pulp now."
Sure enough, a gardener soon arrived and poured the compost into a wheelbarrow. Mixed in with the mud and shit was oozing blood and gooey splatterings of Ricci's tiny brain. The stupid pile of shit was now exactly that.
"One down, eighteen to go!" said Tony, delighted that nobody would have to suffer that jock's sheer stupidity ever again. He definitely wouldn't be missed.
Tony and Phil wouldn't have to wait long for another hunk to meet their much-deserved fate as Jamie's Tarzan impression was going to have a gruesome ending. The ripped hunk was still swinging from vine to vine and even his huge arms were starting to get a bit tired. He tried not to let it show for the cameras but the beads of sweat on his head gave him away. In reality, there were hundreds of the vines because the intention was that poser Jamie would get tired and fall down, where sheer terror awaited him.
Eventually this happened. Jamie was furious with himself as one of the vines snapped and the half naked stud fell down. The 2 second fall would be the last time Jamie's hunky body was pain-free as he landed ass first into a specially positioned cactus field. The arrogant stud got the shock of his life when he landed on a huge cactus which plunged up his ass like the most painful dildo imaginable.
"Fuck me, that's gotta hurt!" Phil yelled as the cactus ripped the stud's ass cheeks open and embedded its spikes up his anus. Jamie's lungs almost burst as he was screaming so much. He was literally impaled on the cactus and the more he writhed, the more his ass felt as if it were on fire. He managed to bend over enough to touch the ground and yank himself free, resulting in him rolling on the floor, cursing and howling in agony. He thought this was supposed to be a family gameshow! He guessed it had just been an accident but was wondering why staff weren't rushing to help him.
He continued to moan as his no longer virgin ass throbbed in pain. He managed to drag himself over to a nearby tree, his face contorted in agony. For all his bragging about being a tough guy, this stud did not take pain well. Tony and Phil just sat in silence, knowing something was probably coming but not knowing when or what it would be.
They soon got their answer as the roots from the tree began to rise up from the ground. Jamie looked around in horror and confusion as they began to wrap around his body. He tried to struggle but they tightly wrapped round him.
"Somebody help me!" he screamed, as he started to think something was very wrong. His true nightmare hadn't even started yet though as a series of roots shot up from underneath him and penetrated his already destroyed ass.
Phil and Tony clapped their hands as Jamie let out an inhuman squeal. The roots kept feeding up his ass, completely ripping his bubble butt apart. The movement was just unbearable. Jamie couldn't believe he was being raped by a tree! The roots continued to move up his body and Jamie writhed as he felt the mechanical roots rip through his insides. Then, with no warning whatsoever, they ripped out of his gut. Blood, guts and flesh flew out everywhere as the roots then contorted around and plunged back through Jamie's face, ripping his head open.
By now, the suave stud was just a mass of goo on the floor and the roots didn't stop until he was completely obliterated.
"What an amazing death for a jumped up twat!" Phil laughed. Tony nodded in agreement. They were only two deaths in and this was already sensational. Neither of the commentators were sure if they could hold their load for 16 more!
There wasn't much time to dwell on it though as another stud was in big trouble. Young football jock Brett had been deposited in the zone which perhaps best summed up slapstick. It was a similar setting to the Road Runner cartoon, with large cliffs and rickety bridges. The naive fool had thought it looked pretty fun and had enjoyed testing his balance on the wobbly bridge and avoiding the TNT which exploded in a plume of smoke on occasion. However, the fun wouldn't last long.
For a football jock, Tony and Phil had found him to be quite a nice guy but their lust to see doomed studs get obliterated was greater than their sense of morality. Hot Brett had to die. Besides, the sadistic nature of the show meant nice guys had to suffer too. It wasn't just arrogant jerks who had invited to play along.
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Because the show was studio based, it was
difficult to have huge cliffs like on the cartoon so having Brett plunge to his death wasn't really an option. And indeed, Slapstix was a much more creative show than that. Jamie's cactus dildo had gone down a treat so it was fitting that Brett would have something equally horrific plowed into his bubble butt.
Brett had to be out of action for his planned demise to work though so a traditional slapstick fall would still be needed. As the cocky stud balanced on another rickety bridge, he was stunned when it suddenly tipped, sending him flying into the chasm below.
He let out a cry but wasn't too worried as he thought he'd get a soft landing - he was wrong. He slammed onto the dusty ground and shrieked in agony as just about every bone in his body cracked and broke. His boyish good looks were mangled and the sporty jock was completely paralyzed.
"The poor guy's crying like a baby!" Phil giggled. "He knows his sporting career is over!"
"It won't be the only thing that's over soon..." Tony chipped in.
Unable to move and with his body just in pure pain from top to bottom, a weakened Brett called for help. Finally a stagehand walked on.
"Thank God!" Brett gushed. "I need to get to hospital, I'm in so much fucking pain!"
However, the stagehand said nothing, instead taking out a stick of dynamite. As a confused Brett watched, the stagehand rammed it with force into his bubble butt. Brett screamed as his previously untouched asshole was penetrated. He swore at the stagehand in pain and confusion wondering why the fuck he wasn't being helped.
His confusion turned to terror as he heard a match being lit before the stagehand hurried off. Brett screamed at him to come back and tried to see what was going on but his neck wouldn't move and his arms were broken. He had a suspicion of what was happening though and simply screamed in terror.
Seconds later, the stick of dynamite (and Brett) exploded, sending a shower of gloop all over the cavern.
"When he woke up this morning, I wonder if he thought he'd finish the day with a stick of dynamite in his hole!" Phil giggled.
Tony laughed as the show cut to a commercial break. There were still many studs to be dispatched and Slapstix was proving that the best way to do that was with the least dignity possible. The commentators couldn't wait for more!
