Handsome Young Lad Lucas dos Santos Lopes Executado
- Thread starter phyzzique
- Start date
I think it's a great idea when people paint their surroundings in an assortment of bright colors. It provides some cheer in otherwise desperate lives. Lucas had such an excellent fashion sense too -- just look at those understated black shorts! He was dressed for success...and then someone executadoed him. :\
No, deaddirty, there is no hope for anyone, anywhere...except perhaps for Queen Elizabeth. Her pastels will carry her through it all, even the coming apocalypse. I can see Her Royal Highness now, stumbling through the smoking rubble, in tiara and mint green shoes with a matching pocketbook.
mrpianist018
Forum Regular
hot body!!!!
I read that Elizabeth employs a woman for the sole purpose of wearing her new shoes, to break them in, so the Queen's own royal toes need never feel a pinch -- AND, even though her subjects would be dying during her End Times stroll, Her Majesty would carry a bouquet to discourage them from reaching out to her from the radioactive wreckage to shake her gloved hand. She's very serious about royal protocol.
Absolutely - One is.
Incidentally, thinking of One. For any Brits here, when did the Royal We go out of use - was it when Thatcher appropriated it with that magnificent "We are a grandmother"? I guess after that One could hardly lower Oneself to be We.
Incidentally, thinking of One. For any Brits here, when did the Royal We go out of use - was it when Thatcher appropriated it with that magnificent "We are a grandmother"? I guess after that One could hardly lower Oneself to be We.
The only royal shoes you'll be seeing are the ones WE shove up your arse young man
Your Majesty, I am so tickled to be called "young man" that I am willing to overlook your violent threat to the well-being of my bung chute. Anyway, Prince Harry says you daren't touch me because I'm his favorite catamite -- so there.
All I know is Harry promised me that when he becomes King I'll be Queen.
deaddirty, you are trying to confuse me! Harry has plenty of holes for his pole, but I know mine is his favorite because he prefers it EVEN TO PRINCE WILLIAM'S...and I don't care if you tell the Duchess.
Handsome indeed
kellyp
Forum Regular
i wonder why he was killed
'When'? But he is not in the direct line - he is the spare not the heir, has he not told you that? This needs work, Alexonedeath - but I am sure you are up to it. Can I suggest a plan?
1. Harry will want his favourite catamite close at hand and he has his influence - so with a bit of pillow talk you should be able to wangle a job as Master of the Queen's Wardrobe - and you are of course eminenty well qualified.
2. Now you need to organise a major wardrobe malfunction. Can I suggest a dye which fades rapidly in sunlight fom its tasteful pastel shade to reveal an underprintng in swirling lurid patterns of mauve, puce, and fluorescent bile green, with the motto 'fuck me quick' in scarlet at a particularly appropriate place? When Her Majesty's garden party guests start sniggering (not something One is used to) and the press photographers go apeshit, she will look down and promptly expire from apoplexy. One down, four to go.
3. Since her wardrobe team will be disbanded, you should get yourself reallocated to the Royal travel team, and organise a state visit by Charles and William to Mexico. Now, you need to use your influence (Harry will be able to help with this) to insert an extra glitch into Google Translate English to Spanish (you like Translatish) such that 'Wales' appears as 'Da Silva' throughout the Mexican version of the programme. That should ensure that Charles and William get executadoed before they've even got from the airport to the Presidential palace - there will be a very major diplomatic incident of course but that's not your problem.
4. That just leaves George and Charlotte in your way. I would suggest you escort them personally back to the airport, and to take their minds off the tragic loss of their father and grandfather that they have just witnessed, organise a game of hide and seek before embarking on the plane and tip them off to hide inside the engines. Now all you need to do is nip into the plane and tell the pilot to take off immediately as bad motoboy da-silva-hunters are approaching. The result will be not so much Royal jelly as red mist - a Heston Blumenthal style 'emulsion of plump princelings lightly seared in jet fuel', to be consumed by inhalation rather than conventional eating.
5. Job done! Harry ascends to the throne and you get to organise the first ever gay royal wedding in Westminster Abbey (or indeed the world), before the coronation of King Harry and King Consort Alexonedeath ushers in an era of peace and perfect colour-coordination.
Just two things to beware of that might disturb that era of peace and perfect colour-coordination:
- after that jet incident any public mention of the Princes in the Tower should be firmly discouraged - in fact you might want to ban Richard III completely, perhaps on grounds of cruelty to horses
- and Your Majesties should not visit Berkeley Castle - above all else, do NOT visit Berkeley Castle.
I feel good tonight. I have solved many problems, for my country, for Prince Harry, and for my friend Alexonedeath
- after that jet incident any public mention of the Princes in the Tower should be firmly discouraged - in fact you might want to ban Richard III completely, perhaps on grounds of cruelty to horses
- and Your Majesties should not visit Berkeley Castle - above all else, do NOT visit Berkeley Castle.
I feel good tonight. I have solved many problems, for my country, for Prince Harry, and for my friend Alexonedeath
Well, deaddirty, that is a great deal of good advice, but it will take me some time to digest. I'll print it all out and take it to bed with me tonight...along with my autographed nude photos of the Prince. I will let you know if I can put it to use. I will do ALMOST anything to maintain my exclusive rights to Harry's royal prick.
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