Scotland the Brave

[jon_b]

I recently had to travel to Scotland for a brief visit - and had the great pleasure of meeting up with two old friends. These 2 guys were unbelievably amiable - outstandingly hospitable and I returned home having enjoyed their company immensely. They spoke English with a soft, beautiful 'lilt' that was almost musical - wore kilts and oozed national pride - but not in any way offensively.

After our meal we had a "wee strupach" and they took it in turns to tell me about the jokes "The English" tell about Scotsmen (I presently live in England). After each joke they fell about laughing. So in fond memory of my great visit North of the Border - here are just a few of the jokes I remember (I think they are very old!!)

Q - why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A- because the sound of a zip being pulled down scares the sheep off.

Deaf old lady (loudly) to deaf old Scotsman wearing a kilt
Q - tell me - is anything worn under the kilt?
A - No madam - everything is in good working order.

To be read with a Scottish accent
Three Scots women are walking home at night and find a Scotsman passed out on the ground - lying partially under a cart. His upper body is under the cart and they can't see who he is - but if they can identify him they can get him to his home - so they take it in turn to lift his kilt.
The first woman looks under his kilt and says, "Weel.. it's not my husband".
The second woman looks under his kilt and says, "and it's not my husband".
The third woman looks under his kilt and says, "Och he's not even from our village!"

And in memory of good looking men everywhere who wear the kilt - some 'interesting' old pics from my archive.

 

[KiltedSoldier]

Great that you enjoyed Scotland
The Army here always welcomes visitors from England - sometimes with a broadsword ! and we are proud to be regimental and kilted at all times.

 

[jon_b]

A great picture KiltedSoldier - and to be 'regimental' has a 'hidden' meaning I understand - although the soldier in this pic isn't hiding it too well

 

[KiltedSoldier]

Aye being Regimental means obeying Queens Regs including uniform dress rules when it comes to the Kilt, Mans No 2 MoD as it says on label of my 3 issue kilts

 

[pigfoot70]

the kilts are so sexy with easy access

 

[PiercedChest]

Great post Jon, love the Monroe-lookalikes and the three hunks.

I'm a fan of Iain Macintosh (singer/songwriter, died some years ago, I met him when he sang in a pub here in Holland when I was a student) who sang with his beautiful Scottish accent (a favourite: The Terror Time).

A small contribution, dedicated to Kilted Soldier:

 

[pigfoot70]

fucking hot pic

 

[KiltedSoldier]

Thank you lads - bare under the kilt and hard is how many of us parade at Muster in the morning unless we have taken precautions against a morning hardon

 

[jon_b]

A small contribution, dedicated to Kilted Soldier:

OMG - an AMAZING - very pic - now stashed in my favourites. Excellent contribution PiercedChest - thanks m8

 

[jon_b]

.. bare under the kilt and hard is how (we) ..Muster in the morning unless we have taken precautions against a morning hardon

Now KiltedSoldier - you can't just drop a statement like this into your post and NOT give us an explanation.....so.....????..

 

[phyzzique]

Hootman! Finally know what Scottish lads wear under their kilts

 

[jon_b]

OMG - another HOT pic of a hunk in a kilt - GREAT contribution phyzzique - thanks

 

[PiercedChest]

... unless we have taken precautions against a morning hardon

WOW, I'd love to know what precautions you Scotsmen have .
I never managed to suppress it :noidea: (and would like to know how to avoid suppressing it accidentally too !)

 

[KiltedSoldier]

Can't suppress it PC other than in am when recruit our NCO / Sgt suggested those of us prone to our kilt being tented by a big hard on having a wank in the showers before Muster leaves you safe for a while, but on parade, guard, etc there's no hiding a stiffie when in kilt uniform, and if the wind blows the rough wool against your cockhead, you just get used to it and we don't mind the stares from lassies and laddies and attention it can get you or getting exposed if the kilt blows up on a windy day, proving you are a true Scotsman and soldier.