Just wondering... if anyone bothers anyway

Whybother

Esta la Tierra Linda...
Joined
Jan 15, 2010
Messages
334
Location
Ecuador
Hi brothers and sisters. I constantly wonder what the monkeys I'm doing here (before you all judge me just hear me out).

I came across this forum late last year when I was looking for a specific picture to help me visualise a scene in a story I was writing that was a death scene. I was so bored at looking for the pictures to aid in my creative flow, I typed "cute dead guys" in a search engine. I was sceptical that it was going to work, thought that nothing was going to come out of it of any use, until the link to this website popped out.

I was a little weary because it had the word 'gore' and 'necro' but I thought I'd check it out. When peered in, there was something dark about the place so I ignored the forum until the next year because I can't seem to finish the story. I thought, "What the heck. I'm only going to pass through, nothing else." When I found out you have to subscribe, again I was weary but I still subscribed because I thought I had nothing to lose.

So, I did then I found all sorts of death scenes that inspired me to write even more. Then I read the posts, I was horrified! The words written about members wanting to... with dead people (no offence cuzs). Especially Arrowman's colourful use of vocabulary describing the pictures and stuff (you do have a way with words Larr). So I wanted to unsubscribe but there was no instruction on how to do so.

So I lurked around a bit looking for options to unsubscribe to the forum, in the mean time, browsing around for useful pictures (you all can flame me all you want, but I don't masturbate to stuff. I did save some pictures and video from the website to see if I like looking at them as a past time, but I found out I'm not really into porn or necro porn so I deleted them. But I do sort of like looking at cute dead guys not in a kinky sense. It's just that dead guys don't judge you, you guys know what I mean. I just want to give them a BIG HUG like when I'm hugging a teddy bear. Really.)

Anyway, I came across more threads about depressed members, people wanting to kill themselves, people that imagine ways to kill themselves. I was horrified! I couldn't sleep properly which made me rethink about leaving the forum. So I thought about "what should I do?"

After reading what was written here, I was stumped. It's like all the people in this forum thinks about all the time is their death and how they want to kill themselves. Some members had already committed suicide sad to say. Yes I cried when I read members' posts. Then I thought maybe I should write a story (which I began writing around February) with good values yet true to myself with a necrophile appeal for my up family here (I sound like a children's program producer, but for necrophiles!) but it's not really finished and the grammar is all over the place so I thought I'll get it ship shape first before I really upload it all. I just need to know if the parts that I uploaded was any good guys, so please kindly give some feedback because if it's really rubbish like it belongs in the trash, I'll stop.

Anyway, I'm going to sound like a nutter (probably am!) but I sort of have this intuitive visions of things to come. Something like deja vu, ever since I was little. It's really strange but I ignored most of it as I was growing up. They were random things anyway. They came about in dreams, when I was pondering at nothing at all in forms of premonitions and signs. Sometimes I just read signs and events and guess the outcome and a lot of the time it is close. I don't know if it is all down to probability. Even I don't believe in psychics and mumbo jumbo but I do joke about it. But there were too much coincidences that I can't ignore it anymore. I don't want to stick around here but I'm scared that the people that died in the visions that I saw is amongst you guys. I'm really worried. What do you guys think? What do I do? Am I just over my head? Do I really care? Am I really concerned about you guys or do I like to hang around narcissistic characters? I really want to know what you guys think.
 

Meatpie

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Why do you visit in the first place if you don't like what people post ?
 

deaddirty

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Whybother - first, your story certainly isn't rubbish. Iit's complicated, I don't understand it or what you're trying to do (yet), and I'm not sure how much I'll get into it. But you are trying to do something original and creative, even literary - it reminds me a bit of William Burroughs. Maybe cdg isn't the best place for it - needs a bit more of what appeals to us - but if you want to carry on with it here please do - we've always been a diverse site, and you're very much part of that.
One thing you've definitely got wrong - most of us don't spend \time thinking about our deaths or how to kill ourselves (and when we do, it's joking more often than not). On the rare occasions that someone does sound genuinely suicidal, several guys normally rally rond to offer support - check the threads, and remember that we are probably supporting the person by PM as well. I don't think we know that any cdg member has killed themselves, though there's certainly one guy who may have (and those of us who knew him online are as sad as you would be, if he did do it).
Incidentally, not everyone here is remotely interested in doing things with a dead guy (so you're not alone in that), and I'd guess for most of those who are it's something that turns us on as fantasy, but not something we would do for real even if the chance came up. For myself, I'm excited by pics of attractive dead guys (especially if we see the underwear they died in) , and by the thought of what can happen to a guy's body as he is dying - but I'm less turned on by doing things with him afterwards (when I put that in my stories it's more for other guys here than for myself). Remember the internet is full of fantasy, and a good place for for lettng off steam about things we woudn't do for real and aybe woudn't even want to(and so is any fiction - books, films etc!). Of course some of us really are turned on by doing things with a corpse, but not as many as you think. Each to their own, so long as noone gets harmed for real. And hopefully ost of us don't spend all our time thinking about it - we have lives, other interests, work etc, but it's the interest in cdgs that we come here for and have in common, so that's what we tend to talk about here.
Be true to yourself - you don't have to be into doing things (or pretending to) to fit in here, so long as you're reasonably comfortable that others are - your own interests are well within the range here, and you don't have to read every thread!
If you want to chat by PM that's fine - but preferably about the interests we do share (like how guys die in Malaysia) rather than cosmic angst.
 

Whybother

Esta la Tierra Linda...
Joined
Jan 15, 2010
Messages
334
Location
Ecuador
Thanks deaddirty! That cleared out a lot of things. I thought this site was a place where people meet each other so they can kill each other and 'do things'. I was going to report it when I first found this site but I thought I'd get my facts straight about the place before I jump into any conclusion.

Why do you visit in the first place if you don't like what people post ?
As for Meatpie's question, I stumbled on to the site by accident and I visited the site once and a while out of boredom because the place is unusual to the mundane nature of the websites I frequent. The only reason why I signed in was because I had a burn out in my creativity flow for my writings, especially one particular scene where someone died, so I thought, "What the heck! If I don't sail across uncharted waters, I'll never know what is out there." Also, if people just stay in one island, they'll remain stagnant and become in-breds. You should know, you're Bulgarian! Your area got a great gene-pool with all sorts of people passing through since Ancient Times. You like to brag about how beautiful Bulgarians are, yourself included.

The website do sort of grow on me but it is mostly the people that make funny posts. Sort of reminded me of a friend at school that kept asking me if I liked knobs and nips and classmates that tricked me into visiting a porn site by claiming it was an online gaming site. I just pretended like I was naive so they'll think I'm hopeless and leave me alone. And also, don't you guys think Arrowman's writing sounded like he's 'jigging' enthusiastically on his chair as he wrote it, like he's in a constant state of orgasm. That what cracks me up! And his obsession with holes. What's up with that?! He's funny.

I don't really go around looking for the dirt on dead people, not to mention most Malaysians are a bit, eugggh! But I think I might lurk around the place once and a while and check up on people here. I may not be as much of a hardcore necrophile as most of you guys here but I'm equally a cuckoo-whack-job. This place is full of interesting people with strange passions. I hope what you said about what you said deaddirty is true because I don't think I can be at peace if what I thought the website was is IT. [Sigh of relief]
 
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deaddirty

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My pleasure - glad I've helped!
 
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