My Parents Know

[Darkside]

To be totaly honest what's right for me may not be right for you.
Yes Roadkill is right, move out etc, but you will have to wait for the employment conditions to improve.
As for the morgue job, I would take it, but I am realy not bothered by horrific sights and smells (worked on farms and in butchers) so although the smells realy disgust me if i was in a morgue the chance of getting my hands on a nice fresh undamaged piece of meat would be worth all of the sights and sounds that disgusted me. Some people find it very hard to switch of thier emotions and thoughts, i'm luck i have no problem in ignoring things that i don't want to see/feel.

 

[roadkill]

I liked the morgue I got a boner.

But the conditions were awful.

I have a question for you Dark, if you were me, in my situation would you take it or leave it?



Sweet. What happened next?

Well it got dramatic, like a soap opera, I left and stay at my BF for a week.
My dad and I are still not talking.


How did you do a double quote?

 

[Meatpie]

Ahhh Dark, you lucky bugger.

I so envy you.

Wish I was strong as you.

I think you are brutal because life has been brutal with you.

I mean you lost your parents so young, bro, friends.

Still you soldier on and I haven't heard you complain, I am such a stupid weak pussy.

I regret my fucking decision.

Do you know that I signed my papers and went to the morgue to give them to the staff but got worked up.

I spend two hours in front of the morgue building and I couldn't take a decision.

I regret it.

I feel fucked.

Well it got dramatic, like a soap opera, I left and stay at my BF for a week.


How did you do a double quote?

Good you left. What happened next.

To double quote click on the "multi quot" button after the edit button.

Click on every message you want to quote. It should turn orange.

Then click on "reply"

 

[Darkside]

Not lucky , life is hard , it makes you hard, sometimes it would be good to be more sympathetic, i can be towards others, but have just come to terms with the fact that life doesn't give you what you always want, so just make the best of what you do have and always live life with hope.
Sometimes i am a little too hard with my comments to those around me, but they know i mean what i say even if they don't want to here the answer i give.
It's not a matter of being strong or weak, we are all different (thank fuck) we all cope in different ways, thats what makes life so interesting.

 

[roadkill]

Not much. My dad still doesn't reallly speak to me.
My mom got closer to me and is understanding over it.

I decided to leave for Europe with some friends and have been living here since.

My parents don't know I'm necro and still don't know my Darkest Secret.

 

[Meatpie]

Not lucky , life is hard , it makes you hard, sometimes it would be good to be more sympathetic, i can be towards others, but have just come to terms with the fact that life doesn't give you what you always want, so just make the best of what you do have and always live life with hope.
Sometimes i am a little too hard with my comments to those around me, but they know i mean what i say even if they don't want to here the answer i give.
It's not a matter of being strong or weak, we are all different (thank fuck) we all cope in different ways, thats what makes life so interesting.

Men are supposed to be strong.

You are lucky because you are strong emotionally and physically. I love guys like that.

I am physically well-built but weak in the fucking head.

I can't take decisions easily because I am a wussy.

I should have given the job a chance.

They give you one week off every month.

Pay is 250 euros a month.

How is one supposed to survive with that money?

Well it got dramatic, like a soap opera, I left and stay at my BF for a week.
My dad and I are still not talking.


How did you do a double quote?

Not much. My dad still doesn't reallly speak to me.
My mom got closer to me and is understanding over it.

I decided to leave for Europe with some friends and have been living here since.

My parents don't know I'm necro and still don't know my Darkest Secret.

You made the right decision. Was it tough? Did your friends help you out?

Seems mothers tend to be mother understanding of homo boys, fathers find it hard to take their sons are faggots.

Make sure your parents never find out you are necro, it could ruin your relationship altogether.

 

[Darkside]

Roadkill , glad to here you are still incontact with some of your family, some of the older generations can't and won't ever accept that some of us are a bit different.
But at least you have come to terms with who and what you are, in the end that's all that realy maters. As for the necro part, well very few of us have ever admited that to anyone they know, obviously outsiders to this forum would just not understand, some things are better kept hidden.
Those who realy love you will accept and stand by you no matter what, but unfortunatly it is not always a good idea to put this loyalty to the test

 

[roadkill]

250 EU a month??

by my calculations, that what you get in week for unemployment in the US.
And according to the US news I'm hearing with extentions of Unemployment from the Gov't,
you can be on Unemployment for almost a year right now.

 

[ArrowMan]

Pie...

I sent you a PM. You, in my opinion, need not be here chatting but GETTING OUT of there NOW. I have shared privately with you my thoughts....your call.

Knowing what I know about your country and its customs, and your parents (dad)...I would GET OUT NOW.

No more chatting here....START packing and GET OUT .

You have options...I would not hang around there and just "see what happens."

BIG RISK ... remember ERIC ???

GET OUT . That is what I would do, given the opportunity you have been given by certain buds of yours here.

I would GET OUT . NOW. YOUR call.

 

[Darkside]

Meatpie - yes men are ment to be strong , but i know a couple of straight guys who are real head cases (slang for very physically strong, always getting in to fights ) real nutters, but to put it bluntly are emotional wrecks ( that's why they do all the macho fighting shit.) They are over emotional and when you talk to them on thier own, especialy after they have drunk too much and they can't hide thier true inner feelings ,you find out just how "weak" they are
Outward strenght does not mean inner strength.
I think EVERYONE on this site is far more in control with thier emotions and much stronger than they give themselves credit for. If straight guys had to put up with the crap we have had to endure over the years they would have all topped themselves.The world would only have gay necros left ( Not a bad idea - if only)

 

[Meatpie]

Those who realy love you will accept and stand by you no matter what, but unfortunatly it is not always a good idea to put this loyalty to the test

I agree. I could have kept is hidden, their problem they hacked into my PC.

250 EU a month??

by my calculations, that what you get in week for unemployment in the US.
And according to the US news I'm hearing with extentions of Unemployment from the Gov't,
you can be on Unemployment for almost a year right now.

Yup. That's the most tragic part. Even if you want to work, want to study and you get a degree you still can't surive and have a normal life.

One of the reasons why my cousin killed himself last year. Or maybe they killed him I dunno.

Its such a sad story its killing me.

Pie...

I sent you a PM. You, in my opinion, need not be here chatting but GETTING OUT of there NOW. I have shared privately with you my thoughts....your call.

Knowing what I know about your country and its customs, and your parents (dad)...I would GET OUT NOW.

No more chatting here....START packing and GET OUT .

You have options...I would not hang around there and just "see what happens."

BIG RISK ... remember ERIC ???

GET OUT . That is what I would do, given the opportunity you have been given by certain buds of yours here.

I would GET OUT . NOW. YOUR call.

Let's not overdramatize. Yes, I remember Eric and I think about him everyday.

Poor dude, if only he knew I would be going through the same shit. We could have helped each other.

I so regret I did nothing to help him.

My father is a brute, he threatens me. He is also bad to mom.

"You are gonna suffer," he said.

How can you say this to your child.

I can find no solution to my problems.

Its a vicious circle.

Low living standards -> Unemployment -> Can't leave parent and be on your own -> You try to take up a job but its disgusting and low pay -> Back to parents and living on your granny's pension.

On top of this all your friends dump you because you can no longer allow to go to clubs etc, they are using you.

Meatpie - yes men are ment to be strong , but i know a couple of straight guys who are real head cases (slang for very physically strong, always getting in to fights ) real nutters, but to put it bluntly are emotional wrecks ( that's why they do all the macho fighting shit.) They are over emotional and when you talk to them on thier own, especialy after they have drunk too much and they can't hide thier true inner feelings ,you find out just how "weak" they are
Outward strenght does not mean inner strength.
I think EVERYONE on this site is far more in control with thier emotions and much stronger than they give themselves credit for. If straight guys had to put up with the crap we have had to endure over the years they would have all topped themselves.The world would only have gay necros left ( Not a bad idea - if only)

Thats why I said you are lucky - you are strong both physically and emotionally.

I try to be tough but sometimes its just too much.

What would you do in my situation?

I need advice.

 

[Darkside]

I am afraid you are going to have to ride out the sistuation, friends that left you were not real friends, it's hard to face but you are better off without friends like that. If there is no where else to go at the monent, grannys, boyfriend ,othere relation than i am afraid obviously you will have to stay at home for the time being untill the money situation improves ( if i had the money i would pay for you to scotland and get you a job here - but i am also skint at the moment) (Skint - no spare money, just getting by)
As for your threatening father , can you take him in a fight? if it comes to that. if you think you can then tell him to back off or else, he might threaten to throw you out, but let him know you wont go.
My adoptive father tried that one with me once , i let him know that there was no way he was putting me out on the street and that if he tried he would be so very sorry, the threat of what i might do worked, so he backed down and from then on never caused me any trouble.

 

[roadkill]

Men are supposed to be strong.

You are lucky because you are strong emotionally and physically. I love guys like that.

I am physically well-built but weak in the fucking head.

I can't take decisions easily because I am a wussy.

I should have given the job a chance.

They give you one week off every month.

Pay is 250 euros a month.

How is one supposed to survive with that money?

You made the right decision. Was it tough? Did your friends help you out?

Seems mothers tend to be mother understanding of homo boys, fathers find it hard to take their sons are faggots.

Make sure your parents never find out you are necro, it could ruin your relationship altogether.

Oh my secret is darker than that.

Yeah funny thing is mom had this idea that I was fashionable sensiable.

Dad's been a Ass since. My friends help as they could.

 

[Meatpie]

I am afraid you are going to have to ride out the sistuation, friends that left you were not real friends, it's hard to face but you are better off without friends like that. If there is no where else to go at the monent, grannys, boyfriend ,othere relation than i am afraid obviously you will have to stay at home for the time being untill the money situation improves ( if i had the money i would pay for you to scotland and get you a job here - but i am also skint at the moment) (Skint - no spare money, just getting by)
As for your threatening father , can you take him in a fight? if it comes to that. if you think you can then tell him to back off or else, he might threaten to throw you out, but let him know you wont go.
My adoptive father tried that one with me once , i let him know that there was no way he was putting me out on the street and that if he tried he would be so very sorry, the threat of what i might do worked, so he backed down and from then on never caused me any trouble.

I would never hurt my parents.

As I said its mostly verbal abuse. He pucnhes me from time to time as a joke, I hate it.

Sorry to hear you were having a tough time with your adoptive father, at least you pushed the fucker back into place.

Ohh how I wish I knew I guy like that in real life.

There are people I can go to, of course. But what will I tell them? And how long should I stay?

Its massive unemployment here, what if I can't get a job.

At least in my granny's house we have a garden and we grow our own vegetables and we have fruit.

Oh my secret is darker than that.

Really? And whats sicker than that? Are you a serial killer in Paris?

Have you killed someone?

 

[ArrowMan]

GET the FUCK OUT NOW, PIE !

:sm (38):

I am afraid you are going to have to ride out the sistuation, friends that left you were not real friends, it's hard to face but you are better off without friends like that. If there is no where else to go at the monent, grannys, boyfriend ,othere relation than i am afraid obviously you will have to stay at home for the time being untill the money situation improves ( if i had the money i would pay for you to scotland and get you a job here - but i am also skint at the moment) (Skint - no spare money, just getting by)
As for your threatening father , can you take him in a fight? if it comes to that. if you think you can then tell him to back off or else, he might threaten to throw you out, but let him know you wont go.
My adoptive father tried that one with me once , i let him know that there was no way he was putting me out on the street and that if he tried he would be so very sorry, the threat of what i might do worked, so he backed down and from then on never caused me any trouble.

Dark...

YES, I understand what you are telling the Pie. BUT...BULGARIA is a dark place in terms of its government.....it is very harsh. It is NO SCOTLAND.

What if his dad calls the authorities in ? He has told Pie that is he is going to make a lot of trouble for him ! The cops there, OMG ... or the shrinks there :sm (19):

I fear for Pie. I fear that his dad WILL harm him. REALLY. Or call in the cops/shrinks. They are very likely to harm him, IT IS BULGARIA ... not that far removed in many ways from the old USSR's STATE POLICE...who were a whole fucking like THE GESTAPO.

READ THIS about the BULGARIAN POLICE, everybody:
http://www.setimes.com/cocoon/setimes/xhtml/en_GB/features/setimes/features/2009/02/26/feature-01

Pie is in REAL DANGER. NO SHIT, FACT. FACT.

He does not have a Scotland or a UK or a France or a USA or The Netherlands now to support him. He lives in a place where POLICE BRUTALITY and BAD THINGS HAPPEN all the FUCKING TIME.

WAKE UP, yous guys. YOU are evaluating his situation from your own SAFE HAVENS.

IT IS NOT SAFE WHERE HE FUCKING IS ! Neither with his dad who is threatening him now or the police there.

HE is in BIG TROUBLE and he in my informed, educated opinion has only one viable choice: GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE, FUCKING ACE NOW !!!!!!!!!!
:sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38):
:sm (22)::sm (22)::sm (22)::sm (22)::sm (22)::sm (22)::sm (22):

 

[roadkill]

Money to travel.

 

[Meatpie]

Shit happens everywhere Arrow, not just in Bulgaria.

My dad is sleeping now, he won't hurt me.

I am locked up in my room.

BTW what the article says is true.

 

[Darkside]

If it's only verbal abuse (yes that can hurt - just never show that it does) then stay put till you find a job you like.
Going to stay with others is usually only a good idea for a very short time, as you know living with someone, is a lot different from a short term visit, but it might be a good idea to have a short "holiday" with someone to allow your parents to cool down, remember this time lock your bloody computer.
The unemployment is bad everywhere, I;ve just had another pay cut, that's the way thay are doing it in the U.K. insted of making people redundant, cut the working hours or cut the pay. We all know and expect that by the turn of the year things will have started to pick up and will get better.
Obviously you love your parents and I am glad to here you would never hurt them, see you do have some luck, you have obviously have had a good relationship with them over the years.(told you not every thing in your life was bad)
I was starting to think i was the way i am because of my upbringing , i was wrong again, no suprise thier then lol. I must be gay necro because i want to be ... yahoo...too right.
Basicaly Meatpie things will get better, you think too deeply about life and look for answers when there arn't any. accept what happens and live in hope, things have a way of working out. They always have for me ( and i have been in a lot more trouble and shit than mentioned in any previous posts- and that stuff is not open for disscusiion here) and I am sure they will for you.

 

[ArrowMan]

So he is sleeping now...then WHAT ??

Shit happens everywhere Arrow, not just in Bulgaria.

My dad is sleeping now, he won't hurt me.

I am locked up in my room.

BTW what the article says is true.

I know it is true, Pie !!

So your dad is sleeping NOW...well, what happens when he wakes up? IF he decides to call in those FUCKING brutal POLICE there??

And if that happens, from there, then what becomes of you ??

http://www.setimes.com/cocoon/setimes/xhtml/en_GB/features/setimes/features/2009/02/26/feature-01


OMG !!! :sm (19)::sm (19)::sm (19):

Well, I am not you, I am not there, your call to make.

But I greatly fucking fear for you staying in that household, with your angry dad, who TOLD you he is going to make BIG TROUBLE for you.

You know what I think you should do: GET THE FUCK OUT of THERE NOW !

:sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38):
:sm (22)::sm (22)::sm (22)::sm (22):

 

[deaddirty]

Meatpie, I'm not ging to even try giving you advice, because I don't know what the reality is with the police, the law, or the mental health system in Bulgaria - or with your parents. For what it's worh, my guess is that if your dad was going to go to the police or the shrinks, he would have done it straight away and not confronted you - so I doubt if you are in immediate danger, but that's your call.
But clearly you're not in a good situation, and living with parents who are liable to hack into your computer is no way to live! That would be unacceptable for your privacy and independence, even of there was only vanilla on the computer!
Maybe it's time to turn a problem into an opportunity, get out of your parents', maybe get out of Bulgaria. How would you stand for claiming benefits in other EU countries? And are there countries where any of your experiences and skills should get you a job quickly? I'm not thinking just of the mortuary/undertaker stuff (though those might be the easiest jobs to get - a lot of peope won't touch them) - you've got a higher education (not sure if you've actually got a degree, or what in, but even better if you have), and you're obviously good at languages (is there a need for Bulgarian/english interpreters, in Bulgaria, UK, or maybe Brussels?).
Hang on in there!