When did your fetish begin


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Wow, Wormmon, that was my favorite TFTC episode as well as I thought that dead motorcycle cop was sooooo hot... What I would do with that DB handcuffed to my wrist! :)
 
ever since i was 13 i often fantasize about guys being humiliated having their clothes ripped off passed out stripped in public gets me rock hard every time
 
I wish I could remember where mine started, might've been around 11-12 area.
My memory is bad for a multitude of reasons, I've always at least partially blamed it on the time an online friend sent me a huge photo of the Black Dahlia when I was at a fairly young age. It gave me nightmares, scared the hell out of me, so I forced myself to stare at it. Every day, a couple minutes at a time, forced myself to be okay with it.

From there, I don't know where it sparked in particular, but mine varies from a lot of you guys' in that its not so much the dead body for me, its the violence. I've been in innumerable fights since I was in about second grade, and by the time I nearly killed another classmate, it definitely was more than just self-defense.
 
One of my fetish stated when I was about 5 or 6.
It was when 7 or 8 when I knew I was getting a bit too excited playing cops and robbers as I loved the thrill of being tied up and me being bound and it grew from there.
 
I came across various fantasy sites while on the Net, clicking from link to link. Discovered a lot of stuff I'd never even thought of, starting with gut punching, getting beaten up, gut stabbing and the violence just escalated! I'm submissive and often get off thinking about fit lads using me for their sadistic sexual gratification.
 
I've always had a death fetish. When I played soldier or Cowboys/Indians, I made sure I get killed. The internet showed me that I wasn't alone in the world.
 
I know I was 5, as I'd just started school. I remember being fascinated w/ my friends fathers scrotum & balls after seeing them while changing to swim. I was amazed at how they hung down & imagined using them as a kind of hanging ping pong balls. Later, probably at 7-8, I "played" w/ myself thinking about playing with and skinning the body of the boy from the tv show Gunsmoke. I also spent much time whacking about other dead boys my age shown on tv or film. Or I imagined them dead, & playing & controlling body. Later, also while changing to swim, at appx. 10-11yrs & going thru puberty, another friends dad turned around as I was untieing my shoe. Bam! His beautiful, hairy bag & dick were an inch from my nose. He laughed & stepped back to put his jock on. I still remember the sun making his package glow!

Since my dad was a coach, I spent lots of time in locker rooms gyms, hence my love of jock straps.
 
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When I was 5 or 6, I was mesmerized by comic books with near-naked Indians being knifed or hung or shot. By ten, I fantasized cutting of the dick of my best friend. Then I wanted to cut the dicks of all the guys in the school locker room. So, when puberty hit, I was pretending lots of sick shit...I mean, cool stuff.
 
Around 13, loved seeing books at the library with pictures of hangings and decapitations. It just grew from there.
 
For me, I entered puberty early (started to shave at 12) but had taken an interest in newspapers about age 11. I remember every time I would read about an execution I would get a hard-on and then masturbate before going to sleep imagining what it would be like. At Sing Sing at the time the Rosenburgs were executed but there were some pretty young guys (17 to 19( being executed frequently in the electric chair and then I remember reading about a guy in his undershorts (as the newspaper report had it) being placed in a gas chamber and it was explained otherwise the gas would get into his clothing and be a danger to the guards who had to remove the body. I was fascinated by that and when I got to University at age 17, I started to find books on executions and would ejaculate in my underwear without jerking off.
 
Shame there don't seem to be any pics of those gas chamber executions in their undershorts.
 
late 20's for the hanging and execution fetish, figured out that I was gay a little while before that, before that I just knew that women did nothing for me.
 
I've always had a death fetish. When I played soldier or Cowboys/Indians, I made sure I get killed. The internet showed me that I wasn't alone in the world.

Very similar with me. And we always died in our bare feet. Having a guy's (or girl's) dead bare feet in my face was a turn on before I understood what a turn on was.
 
Never fantasized about being killed or hurt, although I've learned that hurt can sometimes be pleasure. I have only fantasized about killing and hurting and, especially, mutilating really good looking guys. (I'm hard just typing this.)
 
My fetish of hearts began in school.. My bully was about my height and very athletic.. 6 pack abs and a thick chest and well into sports. I have to admit although I hated him I would have gave anything to fuck his brains out as he was hot as hell. In PE he would take part so competitively that he would work himself into a sweat and take off his top.. I used to watch him breathe as his whole torso expanded and abs moved. Sometimes I sat right by him and could see his nipple and skin moving to beat of his heart. when we fought once I grabbed his head as my hand went on his face to hit it off a wall while my other punch him in his chest to want to stop his heart. I remember smacking his head off this wall twice with my hand on his chest and I could feel his heart racing... I wanted his heart. It got to the point I'd see him and when he started on me I would just imagine the thought of ripping his heart right out of his chest. From the day that boy met me for some reason he hate me and sought to cause trouble.. From the day I met him I wanted him to die. We became somewhat friends.. towards the end of school but I still always saw his shirtless body as he never liked tops and I still watched him breathe and that heart of his beating against his ribs. However much I WANTED to like him more of me wanted to feel him die in my arms and cut out his heart for the way he'd treated me for years.. I still want to and probably always will

I suppose that is why my fantasies of cutting out the hearts of muscleboys exist because my school bully and even his brother who bullied me were muscular themselves. Not just because I am gay. I am really attracted to that body type... In a type of stalkerish manner thats quite unsettling.. I have to stop myself and SOMETIMES I have to take a sneaky photo of him to wank over later... Even then I don't wank over just fucking the body but ripping out his heart
 
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I do not understand why but while in high school I tied my bathrobe belt around my neck, set up a mirror opposite and stood on some National Geographic magazines. I kicked them out from under me and got the hardest reddest hard-on I had had and then passed out. My bathrobe belt broke and I collapsed on the floor but came to right away. I guess it was trying to re-enact what I had read about hangings causing a hard-on but I by that time been reading about all sorts of executions for 5 or 6 years by then.
 
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