Self Help for People Struggling with Depression and Bipolar

[ArrowMan]

Hey Matt...

I am happy you are not cutting yourself anymore and are feeling better in mind, body and spirit. I have been reading your posts and can only add that whenever you feel such urges again, to just reach out and ask for some help....there are all kinds of caring persons around, there really are, it is just a matter of finding support !

We all struggle with many adversarial issues in this life. Tough, difficult issues....life is good, too, so I always try to find THE GOOD.

And I am truly beginning to believe that there HAS to be more than just this...yes, there has to be something better hereafter...how could this be it...when you look at all that has been created around us??

WHO created it all ??? This is a question on which science is beginning to agree with the theologians that there HAS to have been and still be a CREATIVE FORCE in the UNIVERSE.

How could there not be?

So I place my hope that there is more to come, better to come, IF we try to help others in THIS LIFE.

Now I know that some will not agree, but I do not care....the person who said it BEST was indeed St. Francis of Assisi who in the thirteenth century is attributed to writing the following :

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.


O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. "

I am coming to believe this more and more, which then causes me to seriously reconsider my involvement HERE (which is not a life-affirming place, really, IS IT???? Rather, THIS PLACE is a very life-negatng kind of PLACE).

The only issue that may remain is trying to HELP others of you here who appear to be in so much distress as of late...ever think that maybe it is too much focus on the NEGATIVES in this life here rather than the POSITIVES??

That which DESTROYS rather than than which UPLIFTS??

"For it is GIVING that WE RECEIVE....
...it is in PARDONING that WE are PARDONED.
..and it is DYING that WE are BORN to ETERNAL LIFE."

I do not mean to offend anyone, I only am speaking from my inner core to what I am learning more and more about LIFE as I travel through it and watch it unfold before me, including right HERE.

 

[deaddirty]

Arrow,
everything you say is good - and I too wonder if being on thjis place fits with what i beleive and want in life. But unlike other gore/death sites, there is genuine warmth and suport here - that makes the decision more difficult!
St Francis of Assissi's prayer is the way I would like t be in life - and the way I would others to be too.
And also the words of George Fox, who founded the Quakers movement. 'There is that of God in every man [person]'. Maybe for most of us 'that of good is the way we would say it. Either way it's so simple but covers so much - resect yourself (because thee is that of god/good within you, and respect everyone else too, because they also have that of good/god.
In ost ways I try to live up to that (not saying I succeeed, but i do try! And can I fit that with enjoying pics of dead guys? I don't know.

 

[Meatpie]

What do you mean "this place"?

Its just an internet board for people with slightly different interests.

Do you know whats going on other boards like UR, bodybuilding or ebaums?

They posts chicks, clits and some dudes even posts smelly girls socks why do you think cdg is so very different from other websites?

Yes we post gore, but there are more than enough gore sites already I don't think "this place" is so bad dd.

We can talk about anything here and discuss topics as wide as terrorism, was, genital disease, meaning of life, food, sport, religion.

Since I found cdg together with deadboy we rarely go to other boards as cdg satisfies my needs fully.

I wonde why you don't feel comfortable here?

Maybe we can help?

 

[deaddirty]

Hi Meatpie,
You took my post wrong!
I feel very comfortable here - we've got a great atmosphere, and like you say we can talk about everything, and there is real support here.
But getting off on pics of dead guys still doesn't fit with the rest of my life, with my principles. Maybe that's fine, this is the safe place to enjoy things that would horrify me in real life (and we all have a difference between fantasy and reality - that goes for anyone who enjoys crime fiction, horror movies etc, which is most of the population). I'm not sure about that.

 

[Meatpie]

But getting off on pics of dead guys still doesn't fit with the rest of my life

Necrophilia is part of your life, lern to live with it.

 

[MDCMDC1980]

Hey Matt, you sound like a great guy and I like talking to you too.

Still no job man.

I've send my CV to lots of different job ads but no one has called or emailed me yet.

I apply every day, even for lame jobs like in a fast food restaurant.

My sister and her boyfriend are also both unemployed. They have been like that for months. She lives in another town. Seems it's even worse in small towns.

Yesterday we spoke on the phone and she said they were running out of money so they would apply for crime scene investigators. Sis and her boyfriend both graduated in law so they can apply.

At least my parents are back in business and dad decided not to close his office. They earned some money and finally agreed to help me out so I am not skipping meals like I used to do last month.

Hope I pull through mate. I so wished I lived in the United States, if there are no jobs in your state for example you can always go to another state and seek employment there while in my case, its one major city where all the good jobs are and competition is stiff.

I used to have a great job man, in a clean office building and I was an executive if you know what I mean, basically did nothing much but still got money. I wore a suit and felt secure.

But nothing is "secure" in life if you know what I mean.

I lived alone in an granny's apartment because she said she no longer wanted to live in a big city and moved to the countryside...these were really great days because I had a cute boyfriend, we shagged all day, we lay naked and did wild things and went to interesting places together.

I didn't think about money, jobs, buying my own home etc.

But things slowly started to fuck up - its a long story but my life was turned upside down.

I started overdosing on drugs, I felt lonely and I became evil. Really evil. I already told you how I broke granny's arm, I also had fights with mom and dead.

Ontop of all I turned very violent even with my friends some of who left me.

I took up drinking and puked but I kept on drinking despite I didn't feel very well aftewards.

I got into fights on the street and once I got so badly beaten up I was all blue in the face and nearly lost vision in one eye.

I started drinking a lot....also I met a dude who gave me pot for free and we will smoke and get high in the park together and we will undress ourselves stark naked and fuck.

Damn mate, I really feel ashamed talking about this now but you asked, you wanted to know who I really am.

Before that I could buy anything I wanted and even went to expensive restaurants, bars and clubs. I used to meet with a lot of people and had sex with many different guys.

Now I don't have a boyfriend, I am unemployed and I am at risk of losing my home because dad took out a mortgage and if we can't pay it we are out.

It's odd, when you post and I read alot of things you say it's just like I wrote it. I guess I just see alot of myself in you, or some of the things you post. You seem like a great guys also!

I hope you get SOMEONE to call or email you about a job. The economy totally sucks everywhere right now. It's really hard for everyone.

I am really happy you aren't skipping meals anymore. I was very worried about you. That's not healthy for anyone.

As far as your life turning upside down, and eventually turning evil, I can totally understand that. I have been there also. So in a way I guess we have an unspoken bond that most people would never understand.

You don't have to be ashamed of anything you have done. Im not gonna judge you. Im a fucked up person too.

I wish I was able to help you out, but I don't know how. But we will always have this thread to talk and relax in. Thanks again for being so cool Meat!

 

[ArrowMan]

To LIFE, for LIFE everlasting !

What do you mean "this place"?

Its just an internet board for people with slightly different interests.

Do you know whats going on other boards like UR, bodybuilding or ebaums?

They posts chicks, clits and some dudes even posts smelly girls socks why do you think cdg is so very different from other websites?

Yes we post gore, but there are more than enough gore sites already I don't think "this place" is so bad dd.

We can talk about anything here and discuss topics as wide as terrorism, was, genital disease, meaning of life, food, sport, religion.

Since I found cdg together with deadboy we rarely go to other boards as cdg satisfies my needs fully.

I wonde why you don't feel comfortable here?

Maybe we can help?

PieMan...

I feel comfortable here, appreciated here; we have known one another for so long now for years.

I value your friendship and I value you as a person, as all others here.

Much can be explored here, as we are doing now. This is a honor and a tribute to you...to us...as we try to understand our manhood, our particularly kind of sexual perspectives....and struggle with issues of life and death as men, with men.

We do not only talk about death here, we also talk about LIFE...helping each other, sharing our hard times together, offering support, strength and hope.

I struggle with this necro issue....and in times like this, I look to that which is greater than IT....I look to LIFE itself.

Because ultimately, Pie..and I recall you expressed it on another thread....you expressed you think there may be MORE to this life BEYOND this life.

I am CONVINCED of this....there has to be a Creative Force to have created this world, all the variety of life forms in it...and our Universe, and our Milky Way Galaxy, and the Super Galaxy that encompasses our Milky Way Galaxy..and the Supra Galaxy that encompasses it...and on and on and ON.

We are FINITE....we cannot comprehend the INFINTE. But all we have to do to get a glimpse of eternity is look up at the sky,particularly at night,,and see all those stars twinkling down upon us...LIGHT YEARS away, each bead of light taking THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of years to get here now so we can SEE it.

Isn't that amazing?

There is more to this world, this whole bigger picture, than DEATH. This is what I am trying to say .... LIFE is what it really amounts to...LIFE...and LIFE EVERLASTING.

As it says in The Bible, New Testament, 1 Cornithians 12:13...
"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known."

There is so much YET to be revealed....but LIFE is at the core of it all...and my concern is that for myself, I focus too much on one aspect of life, which is DEATH, but that is only a fragment of what is really the WHOLE NINE YARDS...which is LIFE.

We have been given LIFE....LIFE appears to PERISH...but LIFE does continue !
But where, how ??

There are many answers to this question from many perspectives.....the one that rings truest to me is that which marks our time, our calendar...as in B C , before CHRIST, and A D , AFTER HIS DEATH and RESURRECTION.

There is no denying that Christianity is at the core of much of the world as we know it...WHAT happened back then??

HOW could ONE MAN be remembered so many centuries later, how could so many
have dedicated their lives to Him, how could "an idea" survived SO MANY persecutions throughout history, cathedrals built in His name....yes, in the USA, in the UK, in France, Germany, Bulgaria, Russia, China, Africa, Iceland...EVERY PART of the WORLD.

I don't have all the answers, I am just saying that I NEED BALANCE....to focus on LIFE, on that which AFFIRMS LIFE .... in the long run, is this not healthier for each of us than celebrating and so focusing on death?

Thoughts to PONDER, PieMan....and others....not to condemn, NOT to judge, but to share with you, as THIS is where I am in my life journey, and I want to share it with my buds here....

This sums it up best, which I quoted above, this time to both verse and song...and to the BEAUTY of this "created world"....

The Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8-wpxvIpo0

 

[Meatpie]

Im a fucked up person too.

I don't think you are fucked mate, why do you say this?

You sound like a decent, intelligent guy. We all have made mistakes in our lives, that doesn't make us evil or bad people.

By learning from past fucked up situations we grow stronger and we start to value life more, seeing how easily everything can be destrtoyed.

My parents are aslo not perfect, they talk shit to me sometimes too but I don't hate them.

I've done some bad things yes but now I've changed and I think for the better.

Open up to us and tell us what have you done in the past so that you consider yourself a "fucked person".

But we will always have this thread to talk and relax in. Thanks again for being so cool Meat!

I think there is a risk of the site going down if we can't cover the costs of running a website like this.

I am CONVINCED of this....there has to be a Creative Force to have created this world, all the variety of life forms in it...and our Universe, and our Milky Way Galaxy, and the Super Galaxy that encompasses our Milky Way Galaxy..and the Supra Galaxy that encompasses it...and on and on and ON.

What is that super Galaxy that encompasses the Milky Way? Never heard of such a thing?

Arrow from all your posts I am now convinced you strongly believe in God, like most Americans. This is so stupid man.

Religion sucks and gets you even more confused, but it is an easy answer to difficult questions so thats why most people go with it.

I watched on CNN a lady that desribed how a tornado shattered her house but she survived, and she said "This was God".

What a wonderful explanation! You survive in a car wreck and you say "God saved me"

:sm (45):

LoL

This is so ridiculous. Most people in Europe don't belive in God while in America, 90% of people believe in Divine Providence.

This goes back generations to the time of the Puritans. You inherit this from your parents.

Its insane because you are a modern nation yet so many of you believe God exists while scince shows otherwise.

But who am I to judge you, all stated above is just my opinion, please don't take this as a personal attack on you or your great nation.

 

[MDCMDC1980]

I say I am fucked up because my brain doesn't process things normally. I can be fine one moment, and the next thing i turn into an asshole for no reason. I think i may be bi-polar. The only way I can calm down is to have someone talk me down, or i will stay in that mood for days. Maybe i should try medication. My friends will litterally have to talk to me like a child in order for me to calm down. It's really disturbing.

 

[dsyn]

I don't think you are fucked mate, why do you say this?

You sound like a decent, intelligent guy. We all have made mistakes in our lives, that doesn't make us evil or bad people.

By learning from past fucked up situations we grow stronger and we start to value life more, seeing how easily everything can be destrtoyed.

My parents are aslo not perfect, they talk shit to me sometimes too but I don't hate them.

I've done some bad things yes but now I've changed and I think for the better.

Open up to us and tell us what have you done in the past so that you consider yourself a "fucked person".




I think there is a risk of the site going down if we can't cover the costs of running a website like this.



What is that super Galaxy that encompasses the Milky Way? Never heard of such a thing?

Arrow from all your posts I am now convinced you strongly believe in God, like most Americans. This is so stupid man.

Religion sucks and gets you even more confused, but it is an easy answer to difficult questions so thats why most people go with it.

I watched on CNN a lady that desribed how a tornado shattered her house but she survived, and she said "This was God".

What a wonderful explanation! You survive in a car wreck and you say "God saved me"

:sm (45):

LoL

This is so ridiculous. Most people in Europe don't belive in God while in America, 90% of people believe in Divine Providence.

This goes back generations to the time of the Puritans. You inherit this from your parents.

Its insane because you are a modern nation yet so many of you believe God exists while scince shows otherwise.

But who am I to judge you, all stated above is just my opinion, please don't take this as a personal attack on you or your great nation.

"
What is that super Galaxy that encompasses the Milky Way? Never heard of such a thing?"

There are plenty of galaxies outside the milky way. Billions, I believe.


"Religion sucks and gets you even more confused, but it is an easy answer to difficult questions so thats why most people go with it."


This statement seems contradictory, since you say it gets people more confused, yet gives them easy answers to difficult questions.


"Its insane because you are a modern nation yet so many of you believe God exists while scince shows otherwise."

Now this part is worht debating over. It is true, science cannot prove God. Hence the whole ideology of 'faith'. However, science can also not disprove God. Evolution (read: macroevolution) has not been proven.

Again, they have not significantly proven that we evolve from apes, monkeys, etc.

If they could, why would we still have monkeys and apes in our current age? Did they just randomly stop evolving?

Scientists claim that the process is too fast and so the age where monkies evolved is long since gone.

Then how come there are no 'half man half apes' in the fossil record? (Keep in mind a FAKE one was produced to try and explain this, but was found out to be a fake)

Your telling me that not a SINGLE one of these apes during their 'evolution' to a man died? Out of the so called 'billions and billions' of years the earth has been around theres not one?

Also, Noah's Arc has been found. It's somewhere in Turkey I believe.

Lastly, the intricacies of the human body and the earth itself cannot be random chance. If you even knew just how PERFECT your body is designed you would truly be astounded. Every single organ, the length of the organ, the size of the organ, each placement of your bones is absolutely perfect for you to live.

Also, did you know that if the earth were to move any closer to the sun (say, a small number of miles, I can't exactly remember) it would make the earth too hot for us to live on and if the earth were that same distance AWAY from the sun it would be too cold for us to live on?

How about the planets and how they orbit perfectly around the sun? How in the world did all of this come about randomly?

Let's look at an atom. The single smallest particle that holds us and everything around us together. Do you know what holds the electrons, neutrons, etc. together? Neither do scientists. It's been described as an 'invisble force' that keeps them held together. Gee, I wonder what that could be?


All in all, it's fairly obvious we had a creator, if you can't see it than go look around you. And, while I hope it doesn't offend anyone, since you claimed that it's mostly the USA who believes in God and worships Him, while most other nations do not, can you not see how well the USA is doing compared to other countries?


Didn't mean to write an essay, but religion works me up.

 

[deaddirty]

Daniel,
I don't agree with most of that, but good to see you are OK and around

 

[Meatpie]

Religion is for stupid narrow-minded people.

What holds the atoms?

Strong nuclear force and weak nuclear. Together with gravity and electomagnetism these are the fundamental forces of nature.

Earth orbits the Sun because spacetime is curved by the mass of the Sun.

And the planets are not in perfect orbits, there are orbital changes in earth's rotation around the Sun. And Mercury is on an elliptical orbit. Nothing is perfect.

Its very easy to say God created it all, and real hard to study quantum physics and delve into the innter working of the universe.

We don't know anything of course.

No one knows what exactly happens in a black hole for example.

Maybe there are other dimensions? Parallel universes?

The universe is absolutely crazy, its hilarious to think of God in the 21st century.

Anyone who believes in God is retarded in my opinion.

 

[dsyn]

Religion is for stupid narrow-minded people.

What holds the atoms?

Strong nuclear force and weak nuclear. Together with gravity and electomagnetism these are the fundamental forces of nature.

Earth orbits the Sun because spacetime is curved by the mass of the Sun.

And the planets are not in perfect orbits, there are orbital changes in earth's rotation around the Sun. And Mercury is on an elliptical orbit. Nothing is perfect.

Its very easy to say God created it all, and real hard to study quantum physics and delve into the innter working of the universe.

We don't know anything of course.

No one knows what exactly happens in a black hole for example.

Maybe there are other dimensions? Parallel universes?

The universe is absolutely crazy, its hilarious to think of God in the 21st century.

Anyone who believes in God is retarded in my opinion.

It's also just as easy for you to say "Oh, it's electromagnetism, duh" As if you understand that theory completely. I'm not going to lie, I'm somewhat offended that you would call people with a different belief 'retarded.'

Also, I can just as easily say that God created gravity and electromagnetism, and still thwart your argument, and I'm curious as to whether weak/strong nuclear force is even a documented theory? I'm sure it is, just have never heard of it.

I see you didn't address evolution?

Actually, I wrote a research paper on black holes, people know quite a bit about the. It is true it is possible that they can be linked to a second black hole, but it would be hard to ever tell since no human could survive being inside one. Also, at the center of every universe is a 'supermassive' black hole. One scientist who I researched stated that if you would replace the sun with a blackhole that nothing would change (aside from everyone dying due to the cold) whether that fact is true or not I'm not sure.


Granted I stated that all of the planets' orbits were perfect, I more meant the Earth.

Also, way to disregard completely my statement about the human body.

Why is it hilarious to think of God? Where exactly do you think the Earth and the Universe came from? You think one atom exploded and here everything is? How is that any more realistic then saying that everything was created?



If you're going to call someone 'retarded' or laugh at their beliefs, you might want to actually address the entire argument, honestly I'm astounded you even said something like that to someone WHO DOESN'T EVEN SHARE YOUR FETISH that is willing to try and understand your feelings.


I thought you had more class than that, and it's stupid that we resort to Ad Hominem arguments.

Lastly, if we Americans are so stupid in our beliefs, than we seem to be doing pretty well with them, don't you think?

 

[Meatpie]

I didn't mean to offend you. You are always welcome on this site.

Everyone is free to express their views here.

 

[dsyn]

Religion is for stupid narrow-minded people.

Anyone who believes in God is retarded in my opinion.

I really don't see how you didn't mean to offend anyone.

 

[Entilzha]

I'm not offended....

I like different views and perspectives, so you can see how people think and such.
Religion is always a hot topic, because people are struck to the core when you "attack" their views and beliefs.
Many a war started like this.

I see this as healthy discussions, because they tend to bring out certain views and avenues you might have not considered earlier.
And you might learn a thing or two!!

So do not be easily offended, just think and relax, no one is here to degrade your believes or your system.
As I say: "Think, Learn, Reflect and Return!"


Entilzha's First Law states: "Life ain't fair, and neither am I sometimes "

 

[ArrowMan]

Dsyn..

I must agree with you that all the complexities of OUR own bodies....let alone the complexities of all the other forms of life on our planet...whether it be other mammals or plant life, microbes....let alone ALL the many natural elements.....and all this above our heads...

....in other planets, galaxies, super galaxies....there is just no way any one can conclude that something, someone, some force could NOT have made all this come to be.

There is NO DOUBT when objectively considered and thoughtfully reasoned...that there IS a CREATOR .

How can anyone look at this delicate, intricate and exquiste flower .... and tell me that there is not a glorious, intelligent, powerful and life-affirming source...that CREATED it ??

 

[dsyn]

I'm not offended....

I like different views and perspectives, so you can see how people think and such.
Religion is always a hot topic, because people are struck to the core when you "attack" their views and beliefs.
Many a war started like this.

I see this as healthy discussions, because they tend to bring out certain views and avenues you might have not considered earlier.
And you might learn a thing or two!!

So do not be easily offended, just think and relax, no one is here to degrade your believes or your system.
As I say: "Think, Learn, Reflect and Return!"


Entilzha's First Law states: "Life ain't fair, and neither am I sometimes "

I never get offended in a debate.

However, this turned far from one. A debate is a civil matter between sides that offer conflicting viewpoints to one another in an attempt to pursuade the other in some form or fashion to accept the others' beliefs. However, it is merely an attack when you resort to insulting the opposing side.

I'm all for a debate, but if you're going to call me narrow-minded, stupid, and retarded, I'm going to say something about it.

 

[Meatpie]

Your views on the world are absolutely retarded Daniel but since this is not the flame section we better stop or enthilza will ban us both.

I wanted to flame you yesterday but I gave up, after all you were suicidal just a few weeks ago and I don't want to burden you with any forum wars.

If you leave, the guys will blame me. You are popular here don't want you to leave because of me.

I shut up for now.

We will just take it easy and stay away from any such complicated issues..for now until we both feel better.

I also have a lot of problems in my life and sometimes I get it off on people on the internet, which is not cool.

 

[MDCMDC1980]

Hey Meat!
You doin ok buddy? I had a pretty good day today. Was just thinking about you and wanted to know how you were. I'm gonna take a vacation away from everybody and everything for 4 or 5 days to try and clear my head on memorial day weekend. Hope you are ok!