STOP! STOP! Please, what are you doing...

When I was 19 I chatted up a cute guy on the internet and we decided to meet up in the park. He was 17.

I nearly missed my date because the police took me in their car to check if I was doing drugs.

They let me go eventually and they let me go and it was love at first sight.

He wore a whie t-shirt and blue jeans and shoes, I loved how he dressed.

I was a student in university - first year and he was last year in school.

We were together all the time.

He lived with his parents and invited me to move in.

I did and lived with him and his parents!!!!

His father was nearly 150 kgs and snoored so bad I couldn't sleep at all...we didn't sleep anyway, we listened to music and fucked like rabbits - no rubber, no noting.

Then will take a shower and go grab some icecream and indulge.

Then go to the park and lie in the grass like corpses and chat until 2 am at night.

We remained boyfriends for more than 2 years.

His name was Luchezar - "BRIGHT" in English.

Not bright at all but fit and handsome.

Once I fucked him hard he said,

"Please stop. I can't take this anymore, you fucked me three times already.

STOP! What are you doing? Please..."

"Shut up," I said and carried on regardless.

I was fucking 19 and such a brute, I am 27 now and when I look upon past things I've done I am amazed what a sick fuck I've been from the very start.

The first times I kissed another guy I was FIVE YEARS OLD!!!!!

We make many mistakes as we grow. It's a wonder most of us made to adulthood. Learning good social behaviors can be especially difficult if you do not have good role models to learn from. While many men will tell a youngster how to treat a girl properly, it's nearly impossible for young gay men to find good role models. Often, one's family and religion badmouth gays so much that self doubt and even self hate are nearly inevitable. How do you disagree with the people you have to trust until you are old enough to find out for yourself?

The hatred for our self identity can be driven so far in that it affects how we act around other people. It is not surprising that we don't know how to be intimate and sometimes become too aggressive and ruin our relationships. Young gays often think a relationship is all about the sex because that is where the outside hatred is usually targeted, at two men having sex. They feel self hate for enjoying an intimate relationship with another man. Worst of all, when having sex, they forget that it is not supposed to be about domination and control. It's about a shared experience. It's no wonder that young gay men do some pretty dumb and senseless things. I think that the best thing a young gay man of consenting age can do is strike up a relationship with an older, more experienced gay man. It doesn't even have to be sexual. They just need to listen and learn from someone with experience.

Children do not generally understand sexual identity until they reach the age of ten or more. When you kiss a boy or a girl at age five, you are just kissing a friend. It's not unusual. What is unusual is a child that understands sexual identity too early. That can be an indicator of family stress and child abuse.

You know that you're maturing when you realize that you made some pretty big mistakes growing up and will probably make a few more.