Meatpie

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I finally decided to reveal another dark side of my sexual experience with gay guys.

A few years ago I had a boyfriend who was good-natured but stometimes he refused to let me fuck him.

I would get angry and once I beat him naked on the head until he collapsed on the floor.

He was hairy, sweet and taller than me but couldn't fight!!!!

He then wanted to run away but I pushed him against the wall, we were both naked.

I abused him totally.

He stayed away all night.

I fell asleep.

In the morning I wake up and he is cuddled up next to me.

I got very hard and I jacked him. I bullied and threatened him until he finally moved to Boston. He drops me a line every now and then.

I also abused another guy - all skinny and retarded but cute.

Sorry guys, I wanted to let this out - you know me I post about everything, I have nothing to hide.

Anyone with similar experience?

I don't do it anymore but when I was 20 something I was totally cute and manipulated dudes used my looks and behaved like a thug, like a brute.

If I couldn't have a guy I wanted to fuck but he refused I would go to great lengths to have him.

That boasted my self esteem greatly.

I couldn't fuck a colleague from university though, we had a fight and I never fgured him out - straight or bi.

He later married for an absolutely ugly woman.

I have nothing against women but how come this totally cute fit guy from Poland marry this lady, older than him and old shabby looking.
 
He married his mother. Seen it happen before. He wants to be mothered. That way he doesn't have to accept responsibility for the outcome. Its a sign of immaturity.

Did you ever consider the trap and release method? You frequent a place such as a college bar. Using game plans holiday information and such, you can usually figure out about when a bunch of college jocks will be there. Then, you wait patiently. Often, these guys will drink themselves nearly, if not entirely unconscious. Then, they try to find their way back to their dorms often passing out before they get there. At a certain campus bar here in Ohio, the students had to cross a bridge to return to their dorms. Every so often, one of them would fall off the bridge into the river. Anything in the river should be fair pickings.

Perhaps you could just pick passed out jock off the ground and take him home with you. Maintain his comatose state and do what you want. When you finish apply some poison ivy in a manner that would appear as though he chose the wrong leaves to use after relieving himself. Be sure to put some to his hands also. Then leave your friend at a bus stop near some wooded area. The dermatitis from the ivy would pretty much overshadow any other feeling of discomfort. Just be sure to get good coverage.

Have you ever seen a TV program called Bait Car? It is a reality TV program where they follow law officers who deliberately leave a special car that is unlocked and has the keys in the ignition. They video tape the guy stealing the car and hit a remote control that locks him in so they can arrest him. Maybe you could do the same thing and add a tank of gas like nitrous to knock them out or CO2 to take them out.

I think trapping would be much more rewarding then just beating up a friend:)
 
Oh man, you watch too much TV!

What a great imagination you have there, in real life unpredictable things can happen, what you say sounds like a plan definately but requires effort and patience.

Best is to work in a morgue in Brazil. You fool around all day and the dead dudes just keep on arriving.

No effort, no ivy no dermatitis

:sm (58):
 
He later married for an absolutely ugly woman.

I have nothing against women but how come this totally cute fit guy from Poland marry this lady, older than him and old shabby looking.

Maybe she has a good heart. "Beautiful people" can be shallow, overly materialistic, selfish and cruel like in the Mexican telenovela, "Ruby". She make shit(pardon me swearing) so she get shhhh in return. So don't make shhhhh. Do that in the toilet. Anyway, so what if she's older?

You've got a high ego, Meatpie. Just be a good person. Better still, be an excellent one. If you're excellent, you deserve excellence. If you're shit, then don't expect anything.

I pushed away everyone that tries to make an intimate relationship with me. No idea why. I kept my friends at arms length all the time. The only reason why I'm still living among humans is because my dad says he needs me and my sisters still have no husbands to take care of them. Once they all got settled or my dad dies, I'm going to a psychiatric ward. It's just depressing that in the end, I'm the only one that will have to stay with my mum to take care of her because I don't want my sisters to live with her. She's a bad influence. No way am I letting my family to live with her. I'm not letting her kill my father with her bad eating habit and her..... she's just horrible. It is women like her that I hate so much. How can someone hate their mother so much. If you grew up with her, you would know. Can someone adopt my family? We're great. We know how to cook, clean. We're a bunch of clever people. We are loving and caring and patient(you're going to need a lot of this if you live with my mum). We're a bunch of environmentalists. We're not lazy and don't like to complain. All we need is a strong big brother with principles and kind and intelligent, understanding and handsome(optional) that can make us laugh and give us a new perspective in life. It's so annoying that in my country has so few people that give much emphases on the things that really matters. Malaysians are so boring. Most of them are stooges. Can anyone recommend a country with the best psychiatric asylum for broken people? In the TV series "House", where the character Hugh Laurie acted went cuckoo and had to go for therapy, it seemed rather nice.
 
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Anyone with similar experience?

I kissed a friend that was boy when I was 7. Because of that people made fun of me and called me a homo. I was innocent back then and acts of affection was normal to me and my family. How am I suppose to know about anything. I hit him and stuff but he still stayed being my friend. I'd also beat up my little sister but she always have had forgiven me. My elder sister abused me as well. I never wanted to hurt others but God knows where all the rage came from. Stopped doing it around 12. My dad was always constant and the rock of the family. A man of morals and principles. He's such a good influence. My mum have mood swings all the time and easily irritable. You can't reason with her. She say extremely hurtful things, which I will not mention because they are too painful, and de-humanises the character she's attacking and takes away people's dignity. I use the tense "say" because she's still doing it. She can act all nice and pleasant to people she wants to suck up to and total strangers but with her own children and husband that never had any ill intentions and loved her through thick and thin, she treated like...... God I hate her. I can only forgive her when God saves the souls in my family. I don't care what she wants to do with her soul. We've given her chances over and over again until we had nothing left, still she's a horrible, scheming, manipulative, conniving, selfish and cruel person. God, please deliver my family away from my mum and give my sisters excellent husbands. And also help me get into a fantastic place for crazy folks. Except ArrowMan adopts me. Hmmmm? Hmmmm?
 
I kissed a friend that was boy when I was 7. Because of that people made fun of me and called me a homo. I was innocent back then and acts of affection was normal to me and my family. How am I suppose to know about anything. I hit him and stuff but he still stayed being my friend. I'd also beat up my little sister but she always have had forgiven me. My elder sister abused me as well. I never wanted to hurt others but God knows where all the rage came from./QUOTE]

Makes me terribly sad to read this. There is nothing wrong with kissing a friend, children are innocent, grown-ups should show affection more often too.

I also kissed a male friend when I was a kid. I had a boyfriend when I was 12, he was gay and was from Russia.

We were classmates and lived in the same neighbourhood. We would hold hands.

Later in school I also had a gay friend

:sm (31):

hehehehe
 
For some people - being beaten up and abused is preferable to being invisible and ignored. For some, that kind of physical relationship is better than none at all.

Just a thought.
 
For some people - being beaten up and abused is preferable to being invisible and ignored. For some, that kind of physical relationship is better than none at all.

Just a thought.

Are you like that?
 
Hi Whybother,
You've seen Ruby!? Me too! Did you see the part where the hero love interest guy dies in the hospital? He was so hot! He's gasping for breath and dies with a sexy death stare and open mouth! Then his long lost "twin brother" shows up next episode. The only difference is he wears a sexy ghoatee when he plays the brother. :sm (43):
On a serious note. I push people away too sometimes. I know how you feel.
I wasn't a very affectionate child and didn't like getting it so much either. My old scary uncle who worked in a funeral home used to come over when I was little and instead of patting my head or giving me a hug would kiss me on the mouth and I would pretend to be polite. I thought it was disgusting. My family's messed up too, sorry about yours. You couldn't move away? Do they depend on you?
 
I use to get beat up by one of my exs.
Like alot.
It was better then bieng ignored
 
Hi Whybother,
You've seen Ruby!? Me too! Did you see the part where the hero love interest guy dies in the hospital? He was so hot! He's gasping for breath and dies with a sexy death stare and open mouth! Then his long lost "twin brother" shows up next episode. The only difference is he wears a sexy ghoatee when he plays the brother. :sm (43):
On a serious note. I push people away too sometimes. I know how you feel.
I wasn't a very affectionate child and didn't like getting it so much either. My old scary uncle who worked in a funeral home used to come over when I was little and instead of patting my head or giving me a hug would kiss me on the mouth and I would pretend to be polite. I thought it was disgusting. My family's messed up too, sorry about yours. You couldn't move away? Do they depend on you?

I don't really remember how the storyline goes through out. The theme is nice though. My family don't need me. They are just bored. Walk in the street, Hi! How have you been? What are you going to answer? My cat has been pooping again. Do you think they allow animals in the crazy lighthouse with me? Cause not! It's unhygienic. They will not allow it. Shame. Never mind.

Hug you. Kiss you. On the cheeks only. Your head. Don't get any ideas. We are family. Whoopie whoopie Whoopie Goldberg. She was in Sister A... a.... Act. Now giggle.

Rimble ramble. Woobleleigh weebley wobbly. Tam tam tam. Chink chink. Dung dung dung, cow dung, not ding dang dong.

I'm singing in the... watch your mouth! How am I suppose to know? I'm like a nose receiver, not a retriever.

There I go again. Saying gobbledygook. Maybe that's why they thought I was always in rehab at school. They don't know the half of it. Hey, other people have issues too. Why should I be any special. Cuckoo... cuckoo...
 
Love is a violent emotion when not platonic and based on kindness; its possessive and all-encompassing sometimes so much so that violence erupts which is rarely surprising to me. The guy who was the "one" in my twenties (still is if I am honest) was violent to me and violence came from me too as the passion we shared was dangerous, we would have killed each other (i loved watching him sleep) and he looked kind of like a cross between Robert Pattinson and Enrique Iglesias (8 years ago this ended). I ended it after spending a night in hospital with two black eyes and difficulty breathing, we had both been so drunk we let loose all our anger and passion. It was the best and worst of times four years with him, he moved overseas and I burnt all photos of him but still have a birthday card from 1999, a Gargoyle we got together in 2002 which sits outside my door downstairs and the slip of paper he wrote his number on in 1998. My most violent moment was to a one night stand who I thought had stolen my wallet, I tackled him and ripped apart his clothes to find it as he was walking down the street after leaving. I never found the wallet, he didn't have it that I could find but he was terrified but I was so angry I left him a mess on the street. We all have violence in us, I play rough sometimes during sex, choking and controlling, eros and thanatos.
 
I finally decided to reveal another dark side of my sexual experience with gay guys.

A few years ago I had a boyfriend who was good-natured but stometimes he refused to let me fuck him.

I would get angry and once I beat him naked on the head until he collapsed on the floor.

He was hairy, sweet and taller than me but couldn't fight!!!!

He then wanted to run away but I pushed him against the wall, we were both naked.

I abused him totally.

He stayed away all night.

I fell asleep.

In the morning I wake up and he is cuddled up next to me.

I got very hard and I jacked him. I bullied and threatened him until he finally moved to Boston. He drops me a line every now and then.

I also abused another guy - all skinny and retarded but cute.

:sm (41):

Sorry guys, I wanted to let this out - you know me I post about everything, I have nothing to hide.

Anyone with similar experience?
I just read an interesting self-analysis by Snerdguy on another thread. His hypothesis is that many gays like the thoughts of fucking a dead guy because it's all about CONTROL. Controlling another male despite a lifetime of wanting other men, but couldn't, or being the victim of bullying.

I think Meatpie's former behavior probably was a symptom of the same causes--a desire to control a male, responding to a lifetime of frustration due to lack of control of one's desires or others' actions.

Not a judgement, just an interesting observation of a parallel thought.
 
I prefer a good fight in the bedroom for control, you want my arse, you have to work for it !!!
 
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