Meatpie

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dsyn you have really turned out to be a necro as arrow predicted.

How do I know?

Well, you are browsing the forum 24/7 even more than the regular posters.

Frankly I don't believe this is for research purposes only.

You are so gay mate and I am convinced you have a necro fetish but still haven't come out to us.

You will cum man, no point in lying anymore.

Everyone on the website now knows you are a necrophile just like the rest of us.

You may not find real corpses attractive, you may not want to fuck a dead guy but I believe if I offer you to play dead and suck your toes you will not refuse (provided you like me of course).

Or maybe there is more? What is it that gets you? There must be someting. Something that really makes you cum hard.
 
Sorry bro, but I'm not. I just click refresh between here and bear411.com


A lot of stupid shit has been happening to me lately, and I already typed it all once here and I hadn't logged in so it got erased. Perfect, huh?

I can't talk to my boyfriend, I can't see him very often since he lives so far away, my few friends don't talk to me much and don't know I'm gay, parents are religious and homophobic, I've already tried to commit suicide once and went through counseling and am on anti-depressents and I'm tired of this bullshit. My car is about to hit 230,000 miles and I have to pay another $750 to fix it again. My phone broke, so I can't even talk to the love of my life or text him.

My life feels like such a fucking joke, I don't even know if psychology is my thing and I despise the fact that I'm gay. I live in a southern state with a bunch of rednecks who are all homophobic. I'll never have my parents be proud of me, I'll never give them grandchildren, and I'll never really get to be who I am in front of them.

Why do I come here? Becuase it's a place where I can chat with people and for once, just once, I don't have to feel like I'm the one who is different. I get to escape my mind, if only for a little while.


Sorry to burst anyones bubble, but I'm not necro. I can't even stand the sight of blood, I pass out.

What turns me on? Guys with a belly, with chest hair, belly hair, and facial hair do it for me. Not really fat guys, just guys that are stocky. I love watching guys cum in each other. I love to feel dominated. I.e., I call my boyfriend 'daddy' when we have sex and he calls me 'boy'. It really turns me on.


I'm not mad at you for posting this or anyone else for that matter. I forgive Arrow for harrassing me, and I'm sure he'll do it more in the future. But I have so much other shit to worry about its just not important enough for me to worry about.



P.s. I know that other people have it off a lot worse than me. It could be a lot worse for me, but sometimes it just gets overwhelming.

Sorry for ranting, it's just I've been dealing with a lot of stuff lately.
 
Of all chat places why are you here if you don't even like the sight of blood????
 
It's the sight of my own blood, not blood in general. Like I said, I don't look at the pictures much. I'm more of a conversation person.
 
Still makes no sense. Why here for conversation?
 
Glad to know I am not the only messed up and confused person here.

I am sorry to hear you have tried to kill yourself. You are right that things can be a lot worse so be grateful for what you've got.

I know it will sound rude but how can a person on antidepressants become a psychologist...or psychotherapist?

What did they diagnose you with? depression? anxiety? bipolar?

As I said before, I think I am bipolar.

So what is it that you want in life?

What makes you happy?

For me I've always wanted a morgue job. When the day fucking came for autopsy....well you know what happened.

So my dream has been shattered to pieces and I have nothing to long for....no desire for anything.
 
Glad to know I am not the only messed up and confused person here.

I am sorry to hear you have tried to kill yourself. You are right that things can be a lot worse so be grateful for what you've got.

I know it will sound rude but how can a person on antidepressants become a psychologist...or psychotherapist?

What did they diagnose you with? depression? anxiety? bipolar?

As I said before, I think I am bipolar.

So what is it that you want in life?

What makes you happy?

For me I've always wanted a morgue job. When the day fucking came for autopsy....well you know what happened.

So my dream has been shattered to pieces and I have nothing to long for....no desire for anything.

If I do pursue the psychologist route.. I figure the fact that I also suffer from depression I'll be able to relate to my patients and know what they are going through and also be able to reassure them that they are not the only ones who have gone through this.


What I want in life? That's a good question. I want to make a difference, to enjoy what I do for a living and live happily with my hubby.

My BF is really the only thing that makes me happy in life right now, unfortunately.

Your perceived dream has been broken, yes. But perhaps this is a sign that you need a new dream. One that is not connected to your sexual desires, though it's hard to say what that is since your country seems very different from mine.
I'm diagnosed with a 'mild' case of depression and anxiety.

Bipolarity is a very interesting thing. People diagnosed with it go through severe manic stages. Have you ever been manic?

Honestly I think you should focus on finding a boyfriend.. some one to help you and act as a crutch for you when you're down.
 
Come on guys , please lighten up. yes life is mostly shit, we all get pissed off, yes even me, most guys here i think have either thought about or tried suicide.
IT'S NOT THE FUCKING ANSWER.
We all want to be and need to be loved, so lets get out there and start doing some serious shagging.
Thinking life is shit only makes it shittier.
Fuck the world before it fucks you.
 
Dsyn...welcome.

Dsyn...

I am not going to criticize you any more. If you like coming here, ace !

And there is something to this interest in psychology/psychiatry....understanding others better who have struggled emotionally when one has struggled emotionally, too.

It is the concept of he WOUNDED HEALER. It is those who are WOUNDED who best know the PAIN....and there are two responses:

1) acting out in more pain, in anger, in hurting others ("I am hurting so I am going to bring hurt to the REST of the world, too). Such individuals are those who go out and shoot innocent people for no reason, the mass killings, to bring others pain, too.

2) acting in compassion, understanding....struggling as all do ultimately, as the world is ultimately about STRUGGLE. But also finding joy in the struggle, relief of the pain, and sharing with others our common humanity.

Dsyn has shown to have made the second choice....the healthier of the two, by far, of course. And the most enduring....and YES, the MOST healing.

Do not ever try to harm yourself again, Dsyn.

For there ARE those who care in this world; there are caring persons everywhere, and you never know when you will find such a person.

I find them everyday...the cashier at the grocery store who says "hi, how are you today?" to the helpful clerk in a store, trying their best to help me find something.

To the waiter/waitress at the restaurant, who works so hard to make my meal right and appetizing, and the cook, too.

To MDs and nurses who truly care about their patients and do everything in the armamentum of modern medicine to help them become well.

To caring lawyers and jurists who really DO CARE about JUSTICE and the TRIUMPH of that which is decent, humane and life-affirming.

To courteous drivers, loving parents, dedicated delivery people like my mailman, to those who sweep the floors and clean the bathrooms to make them SANITARY and CLEAN, free of DISEASE.

We are surrounded by concern and love everywhere, it is just a matter of opening our eyes and seeing it, reaching out and finding it.

Here we struggle with matters of life and death, a community, asking and seeking many questions to what is manhood, what is life, what is death, what is the meaning of it all.

We are searchers here, ultimately, every one. Seeking to better understand ourselves, other guys with these struggles...and find healing in the process.

So Dysn, my reply is this:

Welcome.

And please forgive me for my earlier harshness; it was mean, uncalled for, and not who I want to BE.


:sm (26):
 
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See, I told you Arrow was not that bad.
 
Arrow has always been the good father of this forum :):sm (35):
 
Where is he btw, I haven't seen him posting for a while.

Hope he drops by during the weekend.
 
I think you should focus on finding a boyfriend.. some one to help you and act as a crutch for you when you're down.

This is mission impossible because all the gay guys here are sluts.

No one is ready and willing to help a mate.

Also, I dated a guy from the internet today who looked great on pics but when we met he turned out to be a really sad depressed fuck.

I don't understand this world.

It would have been impolite to ask him why he is unhappy...truth is most people I know are unhappy.

Yes really.

Ex has been diagnosed with hepatitis C and is in hospital with liver failure.
Doc who took me to the morgue said he felt old and miserable although he is 27
Dad sad he feels old and ill and going to die soon - he is 50
my sis has state exams and said life is meaningless - she is 23
a friend of my ex told me she can't find happines, can't find love - she is 21
Alex, one of the cute bastards I had the luck to fuck said money is never enough and that he doesn't know whether he wants to be with a man or with a girl - he is 23

and so on and so forth.

I guess its human nature, we want more and more all the time. We are never fully satisified.

But my case is special as I am satisfied with the way I look but the fact that I live in a third world country really messed me up.

I had the "guts" (pardon the pun" to visit a real morgue, they approved me and now I can't take it.

Now this is so fucked, so insane I never thought this could happen.

N E V E R. N E V E R . N E V E R.

The feeling is overwhelming and devastating, being so close to your dream and you can't take it.
 
Arrow, I appreciate the apology. My actions weren't any better, and I apologize as well.


Sorry I was gone for so long, was with the hubby all weekend and got to meet his mother for the first time.

You're right about human nature. We can never settle.

If you can truly not find anyone, than perhaps you need to relocate. I know that's MUCH easier said than done; and I do not know much about where you live. But there has to be some way to get out of the country. Perhaps find someone who wishes to do the same?

I wish the best of luck to you, friend.
 
dsyn you have really turned out to be a necro as arrow predicted.

How do I know?

Well, you are browsing the forum 24/7 even more than the regular posters.

Frankly I don't believe this is for research purposes only.

You are so gay mate and I am convinced you have a necro fetish but still haven't come out to us.

You will cum man, no point in lying anymore.

Everyone on the website now knows you are a necrophile just like the rest of us.

You may not find real corpses attractive, you may not want to fuck a dead guy but I believe if I offer you to play dead and suck your toes you will not refuse (provided you like me of course).

Or maybe there is more? What is it that gets you? There must be someting. Something that really makes you cum hard.

my sweet chatty kathys
 
There must be someting. Something that really makes you cum hard.
 
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