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  1. #16
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    It started for me when I realized I was gay but was too afraid to come out. I wanted to feel another man's body but was afraid somehow my mom would find out. My first true experience with this was watching Frankenstein when I realized the perfect dead man could be reanimated and I could use him for sex. Only one person know this about me and the meaning behind the Frankenstein tattoo I have. For me it was all about being able to experiment with another man's body without getting caught.

    When I was in my fraternity, one of my fraternity brothers was studying to be a mortician and he took us to where he was working and I got to see a former football player that had drank himself to death. His body was naked and his cock was semi erect and I got the biggest hard on in my life. I knew something was wrong with me that I got so hard staring at his dead cock. But then I thought if I could reanimate his body it wouldn't seem as weird. This is a turn on for me but I am ashamed that this sort of thing gets me going so much.

  2. #17
    Forum Regular Destroymykok's Avatar
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    I always knew there was something different about me from being around 10 yrs old. I lived in a small village where one family's kids were the local bully's. All us other kids always tried to avoid them, but being a small place it was inevitable that we'd all fall victim at sometime or other. One time really sticks. I was with my best pal when the 3 brothers came from behind a hedge. They got us behind the hedge & got us both undressed. They forced us into playing with ourselves and each other. I had no knowledge of sex but knew the pleasure of an erection
    We'd picked up some eggs for my pals mum & the oldest of the three smashed one on my hard cock & made my pal lick the raw egg off it I just lay still naked in the dirt. I experienced what must've been a dry orgasm. The eldest bully then unfastened his pants rolled my pal over fracked an egg over he's ass & shoved his huge cock in & raped his ass. My friend just stayed like a corpse & took it without a sound. I got the same treatment from the other two brothers. Though I did resist. My reward for my futile resistance was a length of string tied around my cock & balls and being virtually dragged across that field.
    Five years later I knew I was gay. I told my mother as I was confused & believed it to be an illness. She in turn told my father who took it really badly & at the tender age of 15 physically beat me up & slung me out of my home. Cut a long story short I met a guy in a public park a few weeks later who took me in. He was what would now be known as a perverted sexual sadist who preyed on young boys. For him I must've been a dream come true. I was a young 15 & looked 3 years younger. I experienced every form of abuse & torture imaginable over the next 12 years. He took ill with cancer which killed him. I discovered just before he died that he had planned to kill me before I reached the age of 25 fortunately for me he was to sick at that time to carry out his wishes
    But right back from that day in that field watching my best mate laying like a corpse & getting his ass raped I've found death erotic. My own experience from years later I think made it even more so
    During my life I've seen death from old age & illness I've also seen death by accident or suicide of younger perfectly fit guys. My choice is to exit life on my terms not wasted away by age or illness
    I wasn't sure about putting this down & sharing it & have left much details out. The last thing I wish to do is bore everyone with the craziness of my younger years. Though I'd maybe like to do a book with it all in some day.

  3. #18
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    I am so sorry u have had this..stuff...happen to you. I think u must have a deep & determined strength to have survived. Many would have wilted under far less. I hope u have made some sort of peace w/ your family & village, for your sake.
    I also hope you some how arranged a rough justice for the wanna be gay bullys. Oh, like raped w/ broken bottle for a dildo...

  4. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by marunde666 View Post
    It started for me when I realized I was gay but was too afraid to come out. I wanted to feel another man's body but was afraid somehow my mom would find out. My first true experience with this was watching Frankenstein when I realized the perfect dead man could be reanimated and I could use him for sex. Only one person know this about me and the meaning behind the Frankenstein tattoo I have. For me it was all about being able to experiment with another man's body without getting caught.

    When I was in my fraternity, one of my fraternity brothers was studying to be a mortician and he took us to where he was working and I got to see a former football player that had drank himself to death. His body was naked and his cock was semi erect and I got the biggest hard on in my life. I knew something was wrong with me that I got so hard staring at his dead cock. But then I thought if I could reanimate his body it wouldn't seem as weird. This is a turn on for me but I am ashamed that this sort of thing gets me going so much.
    Wow, wish I coulda been along to see that! Bet u still whack to that image. I would. I also day dream about controlling a dead man. I think plastination hold great possibilities, if only leagal bodies could be found...

  5. #20
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    For me it was first seeing a guy hanged in a movie (I was very young) gave me a weird feeling inside. Then later on in school some of the guys would choke themselves or each other, really turned me on. Been into it since :)

  6. #21
    Forum Newcomer syrinx's Avatar
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    All if these responses have been fascinating to read.
    I am female, so you can take my reply or leave it, but maybe it'll offer some insight.
    I was molested by a family member and shortly after, a favorite aunt of mine died and I started really wondering about death and whether or not it hurt. I also happened upon two neighbors who were watching the Texas chainsaw massacre and I sneaked in and watched it. I was really excited about what I saw and wondered if one day I could kill the family member who molested me, if I could get one over on him in some way.
    I found a few dead things in the woods around that time and would put them in ant piles to see what happened. I found a lot of peace in death and the simple extremes of nature. The woods also hid me from my abusive family members and let me fantasize about finding a dead body, or where I would put a guy if I killed him.
    Anyway, I would never act out that stuff, it's always been a fantasy though.

  7. #22
    Forum Regular hikerlad's Avatar
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    Luca Magnota

  8. #23
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    When I heard my friendīs heart beating for the first time. I wanted to cut him open to see what his heart and organs looked like.

  9. #24
    Forum Regular hikerlad's Avatar
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    I did the "choking game" and felt my friends heart a faint my chest as he held me in a bear hug

  10. #25
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    It started with gladiator movies for me. I was home alone Saturday afternoons when one of our local stations would play them, my teenage self was surprised I was getting hard each time a gladiator got gutted and fell hard to the sand. After a while I sought these films out - staying up late in our family room and before long I was jacking to them - usually spurting just as a glad took it in the guts and fell dead.

    Later on I got the same feeling reading Conan comics and the Richard Lord Blade paperbacks which connected death and release of semen do beautiful. Gangster paperbacks like Marc Bolan and death books like The Death Merchant (filled with hundreds of slain men - each death described in such an offhand hot way) kept my right hand moving and my cock shooting.

  11. #26
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    It started when I was 6 or 7. I just loved playing Mortal Kombat and watch fatalities. What turns me on from that time are dead corpses in boots and the imagination and scenes of fights (especially in games) in which my favourite guy in nice boots is beating up by someone, choked, thrown, tortured, killed etc.

  12. #27
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    It was when I was in college. Just one day YouTube suggest a cut scene from the game "outlast" it's a necrophia scene. Ever since, I can't get it out of my head

  13. #28
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    It started with me feeling sad for a character which I'd seen come near death in a cartoon when I was a child. I also remember deliberately getting my character ingame killed just so I could see him go ragdoll and would try to make his corpse take a very strange position after dying- I remember that I once even found myself dreaming about having his (dead) body in ragdoll just teleport to my room so I could move his body, put it in some position I'd find hot, take off his clothes and whatnot...

  14. #29
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    He certainly was a sick guy!

  15. #30
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    I remember my Dad was alawyer and the Registry Office (for property Deeds) was at the jail house. Back then they used to hang people at the County Jail and bury them in the jailhouse courtyard. I was probably 7 or 8 and my Dada had to go the Registry Office and left me sitting in the car. I had heard a man had been hanged at midnight that night before and I sat there fascinated by the idea that the last outside place he had seen was the entrance to the courthouse which I was looking at.

    I avidly followed newspapers even when I was 11 or 12 and can remember reading enwspaper accounts of executons in the electric chair (New York State) and the gas chamber (somewhere in the south) and in the early 50s the published reports described the scene from entering the execution chamber until death including any unusual things.

    I always got hard-ons. Some of the guys executed were only 5 or 6 years older than me and I would think of myself being the executed guy.

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