Weird Dichotomy

[callmecaleb]

Couple days ago, I came across an accident that had just happened. Motorcycle crumpled in the intersection and a young dude crumpled and broken about thirty feet away. Two cops standing over the body, waiting for the emergency vehicles to show up. I had to drive on. I was overwhelmed by sadness. Poor guy. Riding down the road one minute, life snuffed out the next. My mind wandered to his family, his friends, the randomness of the whole thing. So, so sad.

Later that night, I clicked on to CDG and watched my favorite video, of a hot dude having his ears sliced off, his throat cut, and his belly ripped open and his guts pulled out. My rod shot buckets. Then I watched some beheadings, handsome men, sexy necks, and huge spurts of hot blood. More thick creamy splooge. No thought of family here. Just a happy dick.

Strange dichotomy. Depressing sadness. Sexual ecstasy. So weird.

 

[deaddirty]

Guess it's like that for many of us - how we react to something in real life and through the screen can be so so different.

 

[alexonedeath]

Maybe we are all insane. That would explain it.

 

[cwyz]

Although I have nearly never encountered real death in real life, but sometimes as I browser CDG, I wonder this time should I indulge myself in sexual fantasy, just try to convince myself to believe in dreams to fulfill the desire of sex, possession, control and safety, or be in grief about the perishing of the life, lost of another soul, fragility of the beauty, sympathy about the pain endured before they died, or focus myself on the cause of the death, being completely cool and vigilant to investigate or maybe learn a thing or two about science. I shot, I cried, I learned, then start to think about whether I am choosing how I react or just mood-affecting, but then who am I, the thoughts that made the decision, or the the mood, the instinct of my body or both? Even if I settle myself to believe in both, how should I choose next time?
Or as alexonedeath said, we are all insane, abnormal, because the typical normal people should feel sympathy, repulsion against the dead as an instinct all the time, not swinging, fluctuating, unstable.
So we may be untypical, so what, the knowledge shared by common sense are always in favor of the majority, abnormal is not equal to wrong, though feeling weird constantly reminds us about this abnormality.
For me, I have been used to my dichotomy, yet the conflicts between body and mind never cease to exist.

 

[alexonedeath]

You've given this subject a lot of thought, cwyz, and you've explained yourself well.

 

[headsman]

Feelings pertaining to gore can be highly situational, If you could have used the young motorcycle dude and fucked his brains out with nobody watching it might have felt different.

 

[callmecaleb]

I have always justified, in my mind, the sexual arousal I get from watching men die wretched, bloody, painful deaths. You see, by the time I see it on CDG, the event is in the past. They are dead. They are no longer experiencing death. I’m looking dispassionately at the video. But, still, it is giving me a raging hard on and supreme sexual ecstasy. I can’t take my eyes away and I don’t want to. I WANT to be aroused. I absolutely love it.

If I had come across the guy just after he had been hit and no one else was around, how would I have reacted? I might have just stood there and gaped at his pain, his shattered bones, his bleeding body, his gasping breaths, his dying. And felt my cock grow rigid. Just watching. Yes, I might have. I might have.

 

[curiousferret]

It's all in the context I suppose.

Just cuase strange bloody stuff gives you a boner doesn't mean you lack empathy.

 

[stustustugoo]

Maybe we are all insane. That would explain it.

or maybe WE are the sane ones for not suppressing our primal urges and all of the rest of society
is INSANE........ no one will ever know for sure............ best thing to do is to just be who you
are and indulge in it, self acceptance is a beautiful thing!