Have you ever felt ashamed for who you are?

[Tsarevich51]

As the title speaks for itself, I mean, sometimes I do notice how uncommon my fetishes are, and that made me feels really uncomfortable with myself. I know that 'to each, their own', but isn't it a bit too much?

 

[stustustugoo]

NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
i accept who i am and what makes me who i am!
my fetishes are beautiful and make me unique, i love what makes me, me.................................

 

[lindier]

I think Shakespeare had it right in polonius's advice to Laertes in hamlet.
This above all, to thyself be true. It must therefor.follow thou cannot be false to any man.
I am what I am. Whether I would want the world to know is another matter but to myself I shall be true.
Remember one thing. We hurt no one with our fetishes provided always we accept the divide between fantasy and reality and keep ourselves on the right side of that line.

 

[PiercedChest]

No, I have long ago accepted how I am, and I enjoy my fantasies and fetishes without offending or harming others.
I don't care how 'uncommon' they are, diversity is one of the very strong points of nature, also of human nature.
I'm very glad there are fora like this where you can meet likeminded people without fear or shame, because they are indeed rare and otherwise impossible to find.

 

[lindier]

No, I have long ago accepted how I am, and I enjoy my fantasies and fetishes without offending or harming others.
I don't care how 'uncommon' they are, diversity is one of the very strong points of nature, also of human nature.
I'm very glad there are fora like this where you can meet likeminded people without fear or shame, because they are indeed rare and otherwise impossible to find.

Well said and beautifully put.
I've made good friends through this site and it is a privilege to know them in the real world. My fetishes and their fetishes are part of who we are but in th real world they are wonderful people who it is a pleasure to know. I count myself very lucky to have met them.

 

[PiercedChest]

I've made good friends through this site and it is a privilege to know them in the real world. My fetishes and their fetishes are part of who we are but in th real world they are wonderful people who it is a pleasure to know. I count myself very lucky to have met them.

 

[djbear]

Accepting myself as gay came quite naturally but I have had more trouble talking about my fetishes. I remember the first hanging party I went to was only two months after coming out as gay. I was not with my bf but since I had a video of it, I told him about it and showed him the video. I was struck by how well he took it. We were taking a course called Safe, Sane, and Consensual together (bondage mostly) and were told right after my hanging party how dangerous bretah control could be.

 

[Joel]

I have no problem with who I am and what I like, Gay, Breathplay and guys in socks. My only problem is finding someone to share my likes with in my area, so it come down to lots of surfing for videos and solo play. Be who you are and play safe.

 

[Outlawbiker]

Took me a long time to accept the idea that I am gay. I blame Religion and Bible Thumping Jack asses. I was in my 30's before I fucked my first man. Lighting did not appear and strike me dead. I have out lived 3 husbands. I am not out to everyone. Not even my family I just don't let anyone that close. I just carry on with all my kinky stuff by myself.

 

[Andrew1999]

Sorry u have lost 3 husbands, Outlawbiker. I understand where u r coming from. Pretty much still there. I hope this year is very , very good for u.

 

[hikerlad]

It took me a wile to realize I am who I am; ere, people are willing to let me be what I want to be -- a dead person

 

[Korauk]

For the moment I don't care but when I will have a boyfriend and live in couple it will be more difficult because each time I fantasm about a man, I fantasm about him being snuffed.

 

[demon007]

Given all the evil that goes on in this world.. No I am not ashamed of my fetishes when I have never harmed another human being amongst millions who have. I believe thinking and doing are two different things entirely. Like the comment above mine I think I too will find it difficult with my first proper boyfriend. Because I too fantasize about having a muscular beautiful man infront of me and snuffing him out. When I see a hot muscular body infront of me I want to cut out his beating heart

that's a feeling I have felt ever since I was a teenager and my school bully use to hit me.. Once I was trying to shield myself and had my hand on his chest and could feel his heart pumping behind the muscular body I knew he had from the PE changing room it was fast, hard and strong and it was then I began to have the feeling that I wanted his heart.. I wanted it to stop and die. He wrecked my childhood. He made me feel unsafe in school and it is the only time I think I truely hated someone. I spend every day thinking about the hearts beating in male bodies of such a gym build and I want them. I keep it in my fantasies but it is ALWAYS in my mind..

 

[skull_fucked]

Some really interesting and thoughtful posts here; yes, we have fetishes which to many - no, most - people may be beyond their understanding, but as has been pointed out, the line between fantasy and reality is a clear one, and most of us don't have a problem in deciding which side of that line they ultimately wish to be. For those who can't decide or are troubled we can try to offer understanding and support. So yes, I am pleased to be a member here, and I nail my colours to the mast - and am not ashamed.

 

[necrocream]

As the title speaks for itself, I mean, sometimes I do notice how uncommon my fetishes are, and that made me feels really uncomfortable with myself. I know that 'to each, their own', but isn't it a bit too much?

These urges are normal, and they never entirely go away, do they?

You have to embrace them because they'll always stay with you, to whatever degree. Or at least they'll always come back. So you can either feel guilty and ashamed over something you can't really control or you can bask in your own beautiful perversions as an expression of who you really are.

Believe me, most of the guys I've known who are into this kind of thing and admit it to themselves are usually much nicer people than the "normal" guys who suppress it and for whom those otherwise natural, dark compulsions comes out as mean-spirited negativity in other areas of their lives and activities.

If it's not sexual, it's pointless.

All creatures must dream or have escapist amoral fantasies every few hours or they lose their sanity -- so the death sex fetish can be downright healthy. There's always been a sexual aspect to death and vice versa. I've mentioned before that the French refer to sex and orgasm as "le petit mort" (the little death).

But I'd recommend not cleansing yourself entirely of the internal "shame" reaction. If you discard ALL moral impulses, then this kind of fetish loses its forbidden attraction/repulsion power, and you may not produce the same adrenaline "rush" as a result and therefore weaken orgasm.

So some level of self-disgust is thrilling: it intensifies the pleasure you derive from all this, the self-decimating delight in throwing off all moral constraints for purposes of blowing sperm. But if you let the shame reaction overwhelm you, you can also suppress your sexuality.

I'd say use your shame reaction, manage it and adjust it to achieve the best climax.

 

[Deathproof]

1 time when got thrown in jail 4 weed I did.

 

[Cadarvel]

It doesn't eat me up but I do worry about finding a boyfriend and ultimately life partner who would be okay with it, ideally he would do a little play to my fetishes.

 

[djbear]

I only shared this fetish with my boy friend when I first tried it. He died a few months later (sudden cancer) but he would have played. That was 15 years ago and I am really pent up wanting to have someone to play with.

 

[stustustugoo]

ive never felt ashamed of who i am and i never fucking will

 

[Deathproof]

Thank you 4 sharing that with the group.