Have you ever felt ashamed for who you are?

hell no, i love myself and love my beliefs ........................................................
 
Howdy, fellas. I'm new to this site and glad to have found it. I'm relatively new to the idea of necrophilia but brand new to my acceptance of this one of my many twisted desires. I never really even considered dead men until the last couple years since my father died. I'm not ashamed that I always wanted him sexually. I've been incestuous by choice since the age of 5/6 so it's nothing new to me.

The difficulty I'm having is that I found my father dead on his living room floor and he'd been dead long enough that his skin was cool. He died with a hardon and rather than morn his passing, I sucked his dick, slopped some lube on it and I buried my father's dick balls deep up my ass and got off over and over. This is how it started for me and now I want more!! I've even chilled with local junkies in the hope they'd overdose.

I feel some sorta way I've never felt as a result of this desire......not sure how to describe it but the feeling makes me nervous.
 
I accept my extreme fetish as part of me, embedded in my psyche, yet I would never let it out to the people around me. Given that my ultimate fantasy is to be burned at the stake nude, this isn't something I would want people in my "real" life know. It could quickly destroy almost everything.

The thing is that there are more than a few that know I have a fiery fetish, and I'm good with that. Every partner I've ever had learns fairly quickly that fire gets me going, :horny: from something simple like a room full of candles, to seeing how a fireplace glow stimulates me, :stroke: to seeing me getting a massive automatic erection while I roast my bare butt over a roaring campfire or in front of a bonfire. Only a very few know that what really gets me going is envisioning my own fiery execution by burning at the stake nude. :stroke: :stroke: :load: :load: :load: A few of those have actually witnessed me cumming :load: :load: hard against a stake while a small fire was licking my bare ass. I still see some of the guys who were at the summer camp where I was tied up facing a stake with a fire burning my buttocks and thighs. I told them after that intense experience that part of me was hoping that they were going to burn me at the stake FOR REAL!!!!:drool:

I often dream that I'm getting burnt at the stake, and I have wondered why? The answer seems that I've "outed" as a sexual deviant and that the punishment is to be burned alive nude! "load:
 
Have I ever felt ashamed? Yes. I still do sometimes, but I've been working on dealing with it. It's taken me a while to realize a few things, but once I did, things got easier.

Firstly, as Headsman noted, things you resist really do have a way of becoming the main thing you think about and wreaking havoc with your life. I've been through this process a number of times and can confirm it. All that resistance does is make me feel bad about myself, which in turn spurs on negative behavior. After seeing this pattern occur so many times, I've gotten to the point where I decided to try and accept all parts of myself, no matter how much I could wish it away. It's not been easy, but I feel it's been for the better.

Secondly, I realize that these thoughts and desires are likely going to stay just that. The chances of me getting an opportunity to act on them are pretty slim unless I go out of my way to make them happen.

Sometimes, during periods of anxiety, I get ashamed of even having the thoughts in the first place. However, I've come to realize that that's just the anxiety talking. My thoughts don't harm anyone, are impossible to completely control, and are probably more common than I may believe during those times. I mean, how many people can honestly say they never pondered having sex with a corpse after seeing this scene? :p

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAvZW3tylp8
 
No. I never had , because there is no reason. No reason to lie for that fake normality feeling , if I'm not , then it's better to accept that. Don't have problems with my interests in real world neither , can control them. :great:
 
My thoughts don't harm anyone, are impossible to completely control, and are probably more common than I may believe

Yes, I think these kinds of impulses are really just normal sex impusles, especially for guys and guys into guys. The death sex urges never go away, or never stay away, always come back and can't be controlled inside your head.

I've found there's nothing very pathological about this kind of sexual pathology.

Those old "detective" magazines from decades ago catered to men's gore and death urges, and were very popular. In drug stores, they used to sell color mags of men stabbing and killing people (always staged photos) to accompany true crime stories, but you could tell they were thinly-gisguised death porn.

It's normal, something we can analyze but can't understand completely and don't have to.

Be proud of it. It's a beautiful gift.
 
"Embrace your abomination. It's healthy, and those 'shameful' urges always come back and come back stronger."
"Feelings... Embrace them, feel them, wallow in them, share them, and then fucking cum."
Two great quotes that say it all!
For me, yes, I DO feel shame (once in a while!) but I find that it gives me a kind of zing - and as it's part of who I am, I embrace it. Though it ain't going to get the better of me very often!
 
"Embrace your abomination. It's healthy, and those 'shameful' urges always come back and come back stronger."
"Feelings... Embrace them, feel them, wallow in them, share them, and then fucking cum."
Two great quotes that say it all!
For me, yes, I DO feel shame (once in a while!) but I find that it gives me a kind of zing - and as it's part of who I am, I embrace it. Though it ain't going to get the better of me very often!

Heheheh .. I think some people don't quite know what we're saying. lol
 
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