Have you ever felt ashamed for who you are?

I've come to accept that I'm a fairly awful person with only fleeting moments of benevolent behavior... I mostly attribute those instances to some kind of glitch in the matrix. I figure pretty much everyone on the internet is terrible, but only certain types of users are truly irredeemable garbage.
 
I accepted my nature a long time ago, it is unfortunate that I can never be 'normal' like getting married, have kids, etc. Diversity is the spice of life, this weird fetish is my cross to bear and I'd walk through life carrying it
 
Nope, never ashamed. I am who I am. Didn't choose it. So neither ashamed nor proud. It is what it is.
 
sometimes but then I got use to the fact that thats who I am & Im not hurting anyone. I sleep at night like a baby.
 
i LOVE myself and i LOVE everything that makes me, me.........................
 
I am what I am. It took me quite a few years to learn to accept it. I was uncomfortable with myself for a lot of that time, but it all settled down and I accept what I am and deal with it. We are all different.
 
What you resists persists. There is a reason for everything. If this content attracts you, indulge it the sensations. Notice what excites you. Is there a way to channel that energy constructively? Maybe, maybe not. If you have an itch you must find a way to scratch it, or risk becoming truly angry inside.

Fantasies are great tools of the mind. They are free. Stick with the usual rules that society agrees on and fantasize to your hearts desire. Share with friends consensually as appropriate.
 
Not for my sexual fantasies. But for other reasons yes. My body upsets me for multiple reasons, for example my cheekbones which I am convinced are not sharp enough. I am doing my best to look as dead as possible but it's very very hard...
 
Outlawbiker said:
Took me a long time to accept the idea that I am gay. I blame Religion and Bible Thumping Jack asses. I was in my 30's before I fucked my first man. Lighting did not appear and strike me dead. I have out lived 3 husbands. I am not out to everyone. Not even my family I just don't let anyone that close. I just carry on with all my kinky stuff by myself.
Click to expand...

I may have been part of the bible-thumpoing communions but just said "God made me whom I am and God does not make mistakes."
 
I'll reiterate that it's about balance. 'Shame' and 'guilt' aren't to be squelched but managed. If you are overwhelmed by them, then you may suppress your darker urges (which always come back anyway). But if you completely eradicate any sense of 'guilt and shame' such that you don't feel any internal conflict at all, then the darkness loses its power sexually.

I argue that sensations like 'guilt' and 'shame' are delicious sexual tools, enhancing adrenaline release in order to intensify your sexual response and then orgasm.

'Guilt' and 'shame' feel good (if you understand how to navigate them, and the importance of them).

Compare it to how you began using your instincts when you first started masturbating as a kid. (I was 9). From the very beginning, your sexual arousal and self-stimulation is guided by your fluctuating attraction/revuslion responses. You needed both, whether you realized it or not.

One you venture into darker interests (as I did at 16) you then learn a more sophisticated version of that: that feelings like 'guilt and shame' are actually aphrodisiacs, gifts to intensify your sexuality.

If you learn that darker death sex/perversion impulses are indeed natural, and that guilt/shame feelings are, too, then you understand that you don't need to repress either but use them together, one assisting the other.

Embrace all those internal feelings, embrace the innate conflict between them. Because that conflict is what floods your bloodstream with adrenaline. And you need that adrenaline release: it's at the core of your sexual identity.

Embrace them, feel them, wallow in them, share them, and then fucking cum.

attachment.php


Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.
 
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Outlawbiker said:
Took me a long time to accept the idea that I am gay. I blame Religion and Bible Thumping Jack asses. I was in my 30's before I fucked my first man. Lighting did not appear and strike me dead. I have out lived 3 husbands. I am not out to everyone. Not even my family I just don't let anyone that close. I just carry on with all my kinky stuff by myself.
Click to expand...

I keep coming back to the kinky stuff even though I do not seem to need it publically. Being gay though was a huge release of tension within myself.
 
It's the same her I guess. In real life I am a normal guy, friendly, considerate, wouldn't hurt a fly, maybe a wasp. Okay there are many who might disagree with that, people who had to face me in court or tribunal perhaps.
Yet on site I seem to have two distinct personalities. On matters of debate such as capital punishment and islamaphobic I remain my normal self and enjoy the cut and thrust of argument. But there is also the guy who enjoys the thought of being beheaded, hanged, even being eaten. A kinky guy, nothing like me in real life. And yet this second me gives me great sexual relief even though I know it is only fantasy, there is no way I want it to be anything else.
There is no way I'd ever want the scond me to come out publically and yet I'd be lost without him. So I guess you're going to have to put up,with both of us on site
 
necrocream said:
I'll reiterate that it's about balance. 'Shame' and 'guilt' aren't to be squelched but managed. If you are overwhelmed by them, then you may suppress your darker urges (which always come back anyway). But if you completely eradicate any sense of 'guilt and shame' such that you don't feel any internal conflict at all, then the darkness loses its power sexually.

I argue that sensations like 'guilt' and 'shame' are delicious sexual tools, enhancing adrenaline release in order to intensify your sexual response and then orgasm.

'Guilt' and 'shame' feel good (if you understand how to navigate them, and the importance of them).

Compare it to how you began using your instincts when you first started masturbating as a kid. (I was 9). From the very beginning, your sexual arousal and self-stimulation is guided by your fluctuating attraction/revuslion responses. You needed both, whether you realized it or not.

One you venture into darker interests (as I did at 16) you then learn a more sophisticated version of that: that feelings like 'guilt and shame' are actually aphrodisiacs, gifts to intensify your sexuality.

If you learn that darker death sex/perversion impulses are indeed natural, and that guilt/shame feelings are, too, then you understand that you don't need to repress either but use them together, one assisting the other.

Embrace all those internal feelings, embrace the innate conflict between them. Because that conflict is what floods your bloodstream with adrenaline. And you need that adrenaline release: it's at the core of your sexual identity.

Embrace them, feel them, wallow in them, share them, and then fucking cum.

attachment.php


Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah.
Click to expand...

Also, there's the Death Hum or Snuff Mantra.

A physiological understanding of our carnal responses can be applied to this kind of darker sexuality, and must be in order to acheive the proper erotic reaction and orgasm. So you want to enhance the adrenaline release so important to cumming hard (and embrace feelings of 'guilt and shame' -- although I'd call them 'fight and flight' reactions, which is the same biochemical response).

But by doing a mantra or a hum as you're getting into a session, whether masturbatorily or with a partner, you also get a Nitric Oxide release. That's a natural blood gas, released from the nasal cavity during a hum or mantra, which opens up all the blood passageways and increases circulation (which fuels sexual pleasure and clarifies the eventual orgasm).

A lot of guys who moan or groan or engage in 'dirty talk' during sex or self-pleasure don't consciously realize they're trying to achieve that Nitric Oxide release into the blood stream. It's just instinctive.

But if you do it in a more controlled way, with a mostly steady hum or mantra, instead of just scattershot moans and cussing, then that Nitric Oxide release, blended with the adrenaline release, can be incredibly powerful, waking you up to a more intense and honest sexual fulfillment. So there's a science to pleasure, especially deeper, darker pleasure.


I once talked to a guy who was a member of a gay satanic coven (no, I'm not into that but it's interesting to hear about) and he claimed that a carefully selected group within the coven would meet for all male snuff circle jerks. But he said there was a point in their sessions where the group would go mostly silent and a collective humming would take over, and he described it as being among the most primal sexual moments of his life: this group of guys, lights low but everyone visible, masturbating to death porn and humming, like really dark edging and an honest, group bonding he never wanted to end, followed by the inevitable ejaculations. (He also said some of the coven brought urethral sounds to intensify the sessions, and that story turned me on to sounding).



attachment.php



Embrace your abomination. It's healthy, and those 'shameful' urges always come back and come back stronger.
 
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I also look at it this way: when I first discovered masturbation (at age 9) the very first time I started to cum, the sensation was so intense and violent, I thought I was about to draw blood and die.

And yet I kept stroking, assuming death was imminent, because of how engulfing my first orgasm, after a decade of repression and sexual tension build-up, was. I didn't have a death wish, I just didn't care because of how my rising climax felt.

Obviously, I lived and didn't gush blood. But I didn't know it would turn out that way at the time.

But I've chatted with a lot of guys who describe their first orgasms similarly.

So from day one there's a connection between sex, orgasm and death. It's why the french call orgasm "the little death."

What's to be ashamed of in that? You're a normal boy.
 
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