For me, it's not about fear of death or corpses, it's about power & control. I felt so powerless as a kid, if there is a reaction formation, it's about that. The ultimate power is to take another's life and be able to do whatever you will with their body, which has gone from being their most important posession, to mine. And yes, I'm considered one of the nicest guys around. Spend most of my weeks helping others, so the paradox is there.
I'm pretty much like you yourtrophyhead, especially about being a really nice guy. Your explanation may explain my intense desire to see other hot dudes guillotined or beheaded, except my fantasy goes so far back I never thought of the "power" aspect" Also in most of my fantasies after most of the guys have lost their heads then my head is always cut off. That's also sort of paradoxical too. Any ideas for want to see other heads chopped off, and then your own?
 
Here's another paradox

For me, it's not about fear of death or corpses, it's about power & control. I felt so powerless as a kid, if there is a reaction formation, it's about that. The ultimate power is to take another's life and be able to do whatever you will with their body, which has gone from being their most important posession, to mine. And yes, I'm considered one of the nicest guys around. Spend most of my weeks helping others, so the paradox is there.
I'm pretty much like you yourtrophyhead, especially about being a really nice guy. Your explanation may explain my intense desire to see other hot dudes guillotined or beheaded, except my fantasy goes so far back I never thought of the "power" aspect" Also in most of my fantasies after most of the guys have lost their heads then my head is always cut off. That's also sort of paradoxical too. Any ideas for want to see other heads chopped off, and then your own?
 
Fear may be temporary and pass when the threat is removed. Anxiety is persistent and leads to changes in the nervous system, disturbs sleep, starts to rule your emotions and leads to cognitive problems.

My fear (or better anxiety) of skeletons did so for most of my childhood.
I really didn't dare cross a dark hallway when I was sleeping with friends when I needed to pee at night and wet my bed instead.

I recovered when one day (I was 23!!) when I entered a totally dark room, put on the light and stood only a foot away from a skeleton that stared me right in the face only a foot away (biology classroom, I didn't know).

I still have nightmares sometimes of skeletons chasing me, but somehow I know they can't really harm me now, so I don't wake up screaming anymore.
 
For me, it is a form of hero worship. Like admiring Hector of the Trojan war. But I am not looking for a general all-purpose kind of hero. I am looking for somebody that I can "own" and worship, and rather it has to be a bad guy. And I am not also looking for a serious bad or evil guy like Hitler. My kind of guys would be small time crooks that would die in motorcycle chases that are initiated by something small and stupid. Aside from lust, I feel love for victims of tragedies like motorcycle crashes, and feel for great dudes that I cannot have. Death is an initiation process that turn mere squids into my kind of heros.

In short, I guess I am not fascinated by death itself.
 
Aside from lust, I feel love for victims of tragedies like motorcycle crashes, and feel for great dudes that I cannot have.

In short, I guess I am not fascinated by death itself.

:facepalm:

You are a true necrophile and not much different from all the rest of us.

I know you are a motorcycle rider yourself and naturally you fear you may crash & die. You many not admit it but you do.

Through reaction formation you have developed an interest in dead motorcyclists and want to see their sexy bodies ripped & destroyed.

This brings you peace of mind, your brain on a subconscious level is fighting your anxiety with reaction formation.

CDG members must understand that the fear of death is behind all human activity, most people don't think about it in their daily lives but it's always there in your subconscious.
 
I find this thread very interesting, mainly because it pertains to me as well(just as the rest of the members on this forum). I feel great compassion for humanity and I am very thoughtful and caring for other's respect and being, but at the same time, I have a sadistic mind in which I want to see (and possibly fuck) the corpse of that person. Its a sexual attraction I remember that probably was imprinted into my brain subconsciously after exposure to certain things (will not detail). I find my sexual attraction and fetish somewhat frustrating yet wonderful due to a certain aspect that allows me to see things in a much different light. My awareness towards those around me and myself has increased dramatically to the point where I can talk with extreme logical sense with others on philosophical levels, yet pushes me away from the majority because they cannot see the world in a color of, how I would describe to be "gray" as I feel that seeing the world in black or white leads to a fate and impressionable reality bound to those colors and doctrines. But then again, this too is just another perspective.
 
I feel great compassion for humanity and I am very thoughtful and caring for other's respect and being, but at the same time, I have a sadistic mind in which I want to see (and possibly fuck) the corpse of that person.

That's just epic, welcome to the club.
 
That's just epic, welcome to the club.

Thank you Meatpie, unfortunately I cannot take advantage of your spring membership sale which I would love to, but at the moment I am financially tight especially with my personal credit, i will let you know soon when I can truly become part of the elite circle.
 
How terribly fascinating! I can relate but I'm just trying to remember ever feeling anxious about death. I do remember having strong insecurities surrounding my neck, I wouldn't allow anything to touch it or be exposed, and now I have a profound decapitation fetish.
This does fit together.
 
This has opened a interesting train of thought. When I finally realized I was gay and knew I had to hide it because it was not accepted Life became a night mare. I even got a Dr Excuse from Gym because I was petrified of getting a hard on in the showers. I then directed my self to boots and Leathers. In the movies I loved it when the Outlaw or gunslinger got it with his boots and leathers on. Then I started to think ( I don't know why) what it would be like to kill a guy and take his gear Boots and Leathers. I started swiping guys leather jackets and got off wearing them .
Then I started getting off with dead bikers and wanting to fuck them with their boots and leathers on. Thinking of them pissing and shitting in their leather jeans started to be a turn on. When I got my own place I started to experiment and did some Hangings using a safety harness. I would hang for a while then let myself go. Only did the shitting part about three times. Didn't do much for me. But pissing part worked. Mostly here I look for Bikers and guys with boots on. I have no Idea why I get turned on by the image here. I just go with it.

OUTLAWBIKER
 
Wow, great thread, thanks to all for your views & free education. I've only heard & read of Freud's theories third hand, as they were "out of style" when I was in school. Just basic theory & concepts that were grudgingly used, & this in 4 college level psyc classes. Soo, thanks for the info.
 
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