Meatpie

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As some of you know my cute tall lean cousin Bobby killed himself by leaping off a bridge on Sofia and landing on railway tracks in May 2009.

I remember the exact day.

It was a hot summer's day, around noon I heard on the news:

"The body of a young man has been found under a bridge in Sofia, police think he committed suicide, the body is unidentified."

I thought, "Wow, that is hot. I wonder what drove him to this."

By the next day I had forgotten about that case. It never crossed my mind that Bobby will end up like this.

Never.

He was cute, even as a child he was fit and handsome and everyone loved him.

We swam together in the Danube river and were very close, I loved him and wanted him to be my boyfriend.

He liked me too but because we lived far away I had to leave and I cried when we were seperated.

Then years later he moved to Sofia. His parents divorced and his mother moved to Spain and his father became an alcoholic.

I am not sure what happened but Bobby died last year in suspicious circumstances.

Police wrote suicide but how do you jump from such a high bridge?

He was tall and fit, no health problems. I suspect he may have been pushed.

I feel awful.

Most horrific of all is that police took the body to the morgue, they cut him open and placed him in a fridge on a pile with other dead bodies.

Police tried to identify him but his mother was in Spain as I said and his dad couldn't be found.

Their big house remained empty and villans looted and destroyed everything, even the windows were taken out.

My granny travelled to ehe Danube the other day and when she returned today I asked her, "Where is Bobby buried?"

"Nowhere. He is at the academy in Sofia. Medical students probablly cut him open."

That were her exact words. She is 83. She didn't say morgue, she said "academy" meaning medical school.

I was stupified, knowing conditions at the morgue Bobby probably decomposed and leaked on the morgue floor.

:RIP: R.I.P. Bobby I feel awful bad about this, if I knew you were in trouble I would have helped you not to die - either with money or you could have moved in with me.

Terrible. I feel sick.
 
I feel awful that I didn't know he was in trouble, he was handsome I would have done my best to get him out of this shit. He was a drug addict, we were not sure but the other day a relative told my mother that Bobby was doing heroin.

We had no idea.
 
i'm very sad for you, and your cousin ...rip bobby .... his story is horrible ! ......
 
Sorry to hear, Meatpie. :( One of my older cousins committed suicide by hanging some years back (he also was depressed/suicidal). It's just very sad for the survivors because everyone knows intellectually that there was nothing much that they could have done to save the person, yet emotionally it puts a real guilt trip on everyone.
 
That is clearly a major wound for you and I'm sorry to hear that. Men have a particular problem of wanting and expecting themselves to be problem solvers, but go into their own cave when they can't solve a problem instead of asking for help from others. It sounds as though his problems stemmed from having an emotionally unsupportive environment to grow up in. I had a friend who I hadn't seen for a few years as we moved away but our mums kept in touch. He apparently hung himself while his parents were out Christmas shopping when he was 16. I have no certainty as to why, except that I felt he had a completely different personality to his parents: He was exuberant and creative, and his parents had an austere attitude about them and we always had to be quiet round his house. I wish I knew or had been able to help.
 
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