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View Full Version : Have you ever been with someone when they died



BritLad
10-10-08, 02:28 PM
My boyfriend Rob died 4 years ago from a very rare form of bone cancer which started in his rib and spread rapidly that he only lasted for about 6 months after diagnosis. He was the cutest man you could ever meet, handsome, charming, incredibly sexy and with an enormous sexual appetite. Nobody ever guessed he had advanced cancer because he looked so fit and healthy. When it got to his last week he went into hospital mainly to control the pain and I was allowed to stay in his room with him. He knew he didnít have long and tried to make me feel better about him dying. He used to get a lot of pleasure and comfort from me climbing into bed with him and holding him while kissing him and he absolutely adored me sucking him off. The night he died we got into bed together and I was holding him and we were kissing while I was thinking how much I loved him and how beautiful he was. I was playing with his dick after giving him a blow job, which he loved and he had still got a raging hard on. He went quiet and I was looking at him, looking into his beautiful brown eyes when he died in my arms. He gave a quiet gurgling sound and stopped breathing. I held him and listened to his heart slowly stop and then looked in his eyes telling him itís ok Iím here with you. I kissed him as I felt his beautiful 9 inch cock go soft and limp. I laid there with him dead for about 40 minutes, cuddling him, kissing him and talking to him, stroking his hair and looking into his beautiful eyes while hoding his penis and balls. Then I called the nurse. It was the most peaceful death you could imagine. I still get comfort that I was there with him being intimate as he loved when he died.

Meatpie
10-10-08, 03:13 PM
I don't buy this shit.

feetboy
10-10-08, 05:25 PM
it sounds far fetched but it could be true. usually cancer deaths aren't sudden but the patient slips into some kind of coma and is breathing every 30 seconds then every minute, etc. but he could have had a massive stroke or heart attack at the end.

JMsidious
10-10-08, 09:05 PM
I don't buy this shit.

I'm skeptical, only because I don't see the hospital allowing such a thing - you don't get 10 min alone much less 40 min if you are actively dying. Nurses are in constantly. Was there any other patients in the room? Was this a NHS hospital? But I give you the benefit of the doubt.

Meatpie
10-10-08, 09:10 PM
But I give you the benefit of the doubt.

And I want to give you my meat... :sm (13):

JMsidious
10-10-08, 09:20 PM
And I want to give you my meat... :sm (13):

Fucking flirt - :sm (57):

God, would I love to give it to you, Meat - I am honestly getting hard...

I wish you weren't halfway around the world - when are you coming to the US again?

bindiboi
10-10-08, 10:21 PM
Probably not true, but hot non the less.

higladius
11-10-08, 03:00 AM
I don't buy this shit.

with bone cancer!!......mmmm....that is so painful specially in the later stage, the patients needs to be heavily sedated probably with a morphine drip and valium if not is in terrible pain, in that condition I doub he can do or feel anything or even less to have an erection!!!!mmmmm..no..no..

Higladius.

JMsidious
11-10-08, 06:22 AM
My boyfriend Rob died 4 years ago from a very rare form of bone cancer which started in his rib and spread rapidly that he only lasted for about 6 months after diagnosis. He was the cutest man you could ever meet, handsome, charming, incredibly sexy and with an enormous sexual appetite. Nobody ever guessed he had advanced cancer because he looked so fit and healthy. When it got to his last week he went into hospital mainly to control the pain and I was allowed to stay in his room with him. He knew he didnít have long and tried to make me feel better about him dying. He used to get a lot of pleasure and comfort from me climbing into bed with him and holding him while kissing him and he absolutely adored me sucking him off. The night he died we got into bed together and I was holding him and we were kissing while I was thinking how much I loved him and how beautiful he was. I was playing with his dick after giving him a blow job, which he loved and he had still got a raging hard on. He went quiet and I was looking at him, looking into his beautiful brown eyes when he died in my arms. He gave a quiet gurgling sound and stopped breathing. I held him and listened to his heart slowly stop and then looked in his eyes telling him itís ok Iím here with you. I kissed him as I felt his beautiful 9 inch cock go soft and limp. I laid there with him dead for about 40 minutes, cuddling him, kissing him and talking to him, stroking his hair and looking into his beautiful eyes while hoding his penis and balls. Then I called the nurse. It was the most peaceful death you could imagine. I still get comfort that I was there with him being intimate as he loved when he died.


Are you going to respond to the criticisms? Love to hear your response. Is really hot, even if not on the level.

BritLad
11-10-08, 10:37 AM
well all I can say is it is true and not much different if he had died at home when we were asleep in bed. But the way Rob was treated in the last days was so much better for the patient and their family because they could live a near normal life in the last stages. It was a specialist cancer wing of a university hospital which was designed for advanced pallative care and as a hospice to allow families to stay with their loved ones in their last days. There were husbands staying with their wives, wives with their husbands, parents with their kids, kids with their parents. As Robs boyfriend I stayed with him for the last 3 days before that Robs Parents stayed with him. That way the patients got 24 hour care and the privacy and dignity they needed but also had all the resources of the hospital when they needed it. They do the same thing with pregnant woman, when they give birth the husband can stay with them in a special suite so the family is not split up. Bone cancer is very painfull and those who stayed with their loved ones were often involved in managing the pain and their general care if they wanted to be. Rob was in pain but it was managed very well, he chose how his pain was to be managed, he didn't want to be totally out of it on morphine all day so he mostly had oral morphine when it got really bad. But Rob never complained about the pain, Rob never complained about anything actually. This took the pressure off the nursing staff but also didn't take away the families involvement in their loved ones care. I was told by Rob's consultant that he didn't have long and we were to behave as normally as we could and treat the place as our home and not be afraid to talk about his inevitable death together. Our normall life included lots of sex and although he had bouts of bad pain I was always amazed that he would get a hard on, we couldn't do much apart from cuddling in the end but he still enjoyed a blow job (he always was a randy little bugger) The hospital staff would be there when we need them just as if we were in our own home.
Robs cancer had spread almost everywhere but the most serious point was it had metastasised to his brain stem which controlls all the autonomic functions of the body such as breathing, so I was warned that it wouldn't be long and drawn out and that he would just stop breathing probably in his sleep and I wasn't to panic or worry about this. Rob wasn't connected to any monitors or devices so nobody knew he had died untill I called the reception to tell them. In the counselling sessions the hospital provided we were told all that was going to happen so that we were informed and prepared and encouraged to say goodbye in our own time when the time came. It was just coincidence that we were doing what came naturally when he he died, he stopped breathing. It was like a switch was turned off he seemed to panic for a second or 2 but I was there holding him and that calmed him, it all seemed to happen in a moment. I didn't realise what was going on at first but I soon did. My first reaction was to rush out and call someone but we had talked about what I should do when the time came and Rob wanted me to be there with him he didn't want me to leave him or to be resuscitated and be brought back he wanted me there. So I didn't do anything I just stayed where I was with him, holding him, more because I was in shock and didn't want to really admit he had gone. And I knew once I told them he had died he'd stop being my boyfriend they'd take him away and that would be the end. I didn't want to let him go. I honestly don't know how long it was till I went to reception 40 minutes, half an hour. 15 minutes, an hour I don't even know what time it was when he died. I know I phoned his mum and dad at 5.30 am from reception.
I've never told anyone this and to be honest I really don't give a shit if anyone believes it or not because this is a fairly anonomous forum and its done me good just to write it down and in an odd way knowing that other people know about it too takes a burden off me cos I couldn't tell anyone in my circle of friends and family. I've not talked about this for 4 years not even in grief counselling not even to my present boyfriend. So even if you believe me or not I'm gratefull to Meat for providing this little place where I could talk about it and the rest of the members who read it and won't judge me cos its such a relief to get it out.

Meatpie
11-10-08, 10:42 AM
even if you believe me or not I'm gratefull to Meat for providing this little place where I could talk about it and the rest of the members who read it and won't judge me cos its such a relief to get it out.

No worries dude. Post away.

feetboy
11-10-08, 11:26 AM
actually when my grandad died there were no nurses flying around him, we were just left alone with him, it was obvious he was going to die, and when he did die, we informed the nurses. We could have stayed if we wanted but we left. it was the same when my friend died, his family were alone with him. The nurses laid him out and the family went back in for as long as they needed.

feetboy
11-10-08, 11:30 AM
it is a beautiful and very sad story.

Meatpie
11-10-08, 11:32 AM
The don't do it like that here. When my grandad croaked, they immediately took him to the morgue.

My dad said he went to see him and said, "people were opened like pigs"

Then they released the body and he spent one night at home in a coffin.

Also, on request of the relatives, the body can be given naked for a bath at home and relatives dress the corpse and put it in a coffin.

Thats why I hate my mom for not informing me that my 20 year old cousin killed himself this summer. I could have been the one as his parents are divorced, his dad disappeared and his mom lives in Spain.

He jumped from a bridge in Sofia and fell on train tracks.

feetboy
11-10-08, 11:38 AM
what did your grandad look like in his coffin?

higladius
11-10-08, 09:57 PM
Have you ever been with someone when they died

yes, several times while working in icu ....when called code blue (cardiorespiratory arrest). really hectic and messy.

higladius.

JMsidious
11-10-08, 10:33 PM
Have you ever been with someone when they died

yes, several times while working in icu ....when called code blue (cardiorespiratory arrest). really hectic and messy.

higladius.

What do you do? I am a trauma RN and most recently a Lifeflight nurse - nice to meet ya!:sm (42):

JMsidious
11-10-08, 10:39 PM
well all I can say is it is true and not much different if he had died at home when we were asleep in bed. But the way Rob was treated in the last days was so much better for the patient and their family because they could live a near normal life in the last stages. It was a specialist cancer wing of a university hospital which was designed for advanced pallative care and as a hospice to allow families to stay with their loved ones in their last days. There were husbands staying with their wives, wives with their husbands, parents with their kids, kids with their parents. As Robs boyfriend I stayed with him for the last 3 days before that Robs Parents stayed with him. That way the patients got 24 hour care and the privacy and dignity they needed but also had all the resources of the hospital when they needed it. They do the same thing with pregnant woman, when they give birth the husband can stay with them in a special suite so the family is not split up. Bone cancer is very painfull and those who stayed with their loved ones were often involved in managing the pain and their general care if they wanted to be. Rob was in pain but it was managed very well, he chose how his pain was to be managed, he didn't want to be totally out of it on morphine all day so he mostly had oral morphine when it got really bad. But Rob never complained about the pain, Rob never complained about anything actually. This took the pressure off the nursing staff but also didn't take away the families involvement in their loved ones care. I was told by Rob's consultant that he didn't have long and we were to behave as normally as we could and treat the place as our home and not be afraid to talk about his inevitable death together. Our normall life included lots of sex and although he had bouts of bad pain I was always amazed that he would get a hard on, we couldn't do much apart from cuddling in the end but he still enjoyed a blow job (he always was a randy little bugger) The hospital staff would be there when we need them just as if we were in our own home.
Robs cancer had spread almost everywhere but the most serious point was it had metastasised to his brain stem which controlls all the autonomic functions of the body such as breathing, so I was warned that it wouldn't be long and drawn out and that he would just stop breathing probably in his sleep and I wasn't to panic or worry about this. Rob wasn't connected to any monitors or devices so nobody knew he had died untill I called the reception to tell them. In the counselling sessions the hospital provided we were told all that was going to happen so that we were informed and prepared and encouraged to say goodbye in our own time when the time came. It was just coincidence that we were doing what came naturally when he he died, he stopped breathing. It was like a switch was turned off he seemed to panic for a second or 2 but I was there holding him and that calmed him, it all seemed to happen in a moment. I didn't realise what was going on at first but I soon did. My first reaction was to rush out and call someone but we had talked about what I should do when the time came and Rob wanted me to be there with him he didn't want me to leave him or to be resuscitated and be brought back he wanted me there. So I didn't do anything I just stayed where I was with him, holding him, more because I was in shock and didn't want to really admit he had gone. And I knew once I told them he had died he'd stop being my boyfriend they'd take him away and that would be the end. I didn't want to let him go. I honestly don't know how long it was till I went to reception 40 minutes, half an hour. 15 minutes, an hour I don't even know what time it was when he died. I know I phoned his mum and dad at 5.30 am from reception.
I've never told anyone this and to be honest I really don't give a shit if anyone believes it or not because this is a fairly anonomous forum and its done me good just to write it down and in an odd way knowing that other people know about it too takes a burden off me cos I couldn't tell anyone in my circle of friends and family. I've not talked about this for 4 years not even in grief counselling not even to my present boyfriend. So even if you believe me or not I'm gratefull to Meat for providing this little place where I could talk about it and the rest of the members who read it and won't judge me cos its such a relief to get it out.

Dude, I am so sorry for doubting you. I stand corrected, and humbled. Please know that you have my sympathy and I feel honored that you would share. I had a friend of 12 years that died of pneumocystis carinii related to AIDS - he wasn't aware of the diagnosis - his family refused to tell him. I know the pain of having a secret like yours and I am so sorry. :sm (49):
May he :sm (47):

BritLad
12-10-08, 03:26 AM
Dude, I am so sorry for doubting you. I stand corrected, and humbled. Please know that you have my sympathy and I feel honored that you would share. I had a friend of 12 years that died of pneumocystis carinii related to AIDS - he wasn't aware of the diagnosis - his family refused to tell him. I know the pain of having a secret like yours and I am so sorry. :sm (49):
May he :sm (47):

Thats ok matey please don't feel bad I can understand people not believing it. I'm just glad I had the opportunity to tell it cos it now feels like a big burden has been lifted. For me it was a special and terribly sad time, but I have always felt that I have nothing to reproach myself about cos I was keeping my promise to him. And I like to think he was aware that I didn't leave him and was comforted that I was there.

higladius
12-10-08, 03:29 AM
What do you do? I am a trauma RN and most recently a Lifeflight nurse - nice to meet ya!:sm (42):


hey, nice to meet you. I am a physical therapist, I worked in intensive care units and cardio units many years. but got stressed out, now I am doing home health and outpatient. less stress and in my own business. do you work in the helicopter medevac?

keep in tocuh.

higladius.

any good looking corpses in LA?..lol..going there for a seminar last week october...
did you see... pathology with milo vermiglia?. cool movie...

JMsidious
12-10-08, 06:19 AM
hey, nice to meet you. I am a physical therapist, I worked in intensive care units and cardio units many years. but got stressed out, now I am doing home health and outpatient. less stress and in my own business. do you work in the helicopter medevac?

keep in tocuh.

higladius.

any good looking corpses in LA?..lol..going there for a seminar last week october...
did you see... pathology with milo vermiglia?. cool movie...

Yes - I thought the whole movie was quite shitty, but the sex and killing was superb. Helicopters - oh yeah - here's a pic of my office, and one from my office - -

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2240/2462707420_ffcc7a13e5.jpg?v=0
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/157/414238918_70cb599f41.jpg?v=0

verlup1
12-10-08, 03:26 PM
Such a beautiful view you have! I don't know if I'd be able to fly in a helicopter every day though.

robert2008
20-06-09, 08:08 AM
do you have som pics about Rob, we want to look at how beautiful he is!

Apart
20-06-09, 09:00 AM
I dont buy the "ohhhh I am going to pass away peacefully right now at the perfect moment" too.
It's just a fantasy that was made for TV shows, movie.
Just like how they always plot the hero hide safely behind the car door in a massive gun fight. Whereas in real world those bullet would've pierced through them like butter already.

The story is very touching though!

Tiannalsp
30-06-09, 05:07 AM
thats so ideal.

Tiannalsp
30-06-09, 05:09 AM
normally they choke and drown own their own melting insides, so i guess thats a lot better.

Meatpie
07-07-09, 01:36 AM
Yes - I thought the whole movie was quite shitty, but the sex and killing was superb. Helicopters - oh yeah - here's a pic of my office, and one from my office - -

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2240/2462707420_ffcc7a13e5.jpg?v=0
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/157/414238918_70cb599f41.jpg?v=0

Looks fucking high.

Peehnut
11-07-09, 03:30 AM
my dad made gurguling sounds everytime i would blow air into his mouth and his lips were blue, his skin looked really sickly pale almost grayish...his heart was beating for a couple of minutes then it stated speeding up and fluttering,then it faded. i kept doing cpr until the medics got to our house, but it was too late.

Entilzha
11-07-09, 11:32 AM
That is sad to hear...

May his spirit be with his ancestors, and always watching over you

Meatpie
14-07-09, 08:03 PM
May he rest in peace.

I am sorry you had to go through all this, the death of a parent can be very traumatic.

djbear
11-03-12, 03:48 AM
Palliative care is much different than a regular hospital. My best friend from age 3 died 9 years ago (we had both lost our partners the summer before to death) and while I could not stay overnight, the palliative care place phoned me and asked me if I wanted to come in and spend some time with him before they released his body. I chose not to.

I had a close friend (one whom I had never had sex with) who died of a major heart attack in his sleep. I had talked to him about 1 1/2 hours prior and he was so happy that evening. The next day when I did not get my morning joke from him, I went to his place and the landlord let me in. He was lying naked on the bed - they did an autopsy to ensure it was not suicide or fowl play (his face was done in the pillow and his arms looked like he had tried to raise himself. They determined he died of a massive heart attack.

patrick57
11-03-12, 03:51 AM
totally far fetched.

CamoNoose
11-03-12, 04:05 AM
With no offense meant to anyone and if it does offend oh well won't be the first time. How can any of you know whether something is true or not unless you were or have been there. Speaking as a former hospice caregiver, I think it is very true because I have seen many family members being together and probably being intimate at times. We encouraged the families there to simply treat the hospice room as their home and we are just here to manage pain and to assist the family in relieving the stress of being that caregiver. Also we often went into homes where people were allowed to live and die in their own home. Also, if I may remain on my soapbox before someone shoots me, I also went through the pain and difficulty of losing a partner to cancer and yes until almost the end we enjoyed being together even when he wasn't quite all there, I know he took comfort from my touch.