How can I convey my feelings to a friend of the same sex without destroying our frien

ArNu

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Location
afganistan
Im a bisexual guy and most of my friends do not know it. But i told one of my friends that i have feelings for him. But days went by and he started to stay away from me and almost got to the point where he will not talk to me. Im afraid that our friendship might be lost, so i took back my words and told him that "it was just a passing thought, and my feelings went away with it".

after that, we started to talk again and the gap is starting to disappear. he does not know that i still have feelings for him and that it did not disappear.

i cant really judge him, but i also think he has gay ideations. it is because of a question that my friends ask him. they asked if he was gay or not, but he did not answer yes or no. instead, he told us that "it is based on the norms of the society". i was just wondering if he is just scared like me to come out, or there could be more deeper reasons.

we hang out once and we slept together. it was not just us but there are also some of my friends. he was in the middle between me and my other friend. when he was asleep i hugged him as if hes very special to me(but indeed he is now very special). i dont know know if he noticed it or not but he told me in the morning that i was caressing his breast, i questioned myself, why did he not stop me?

so i started to ask questions, so i decided to take a risk the other night. he was still sleeping beside me and almost all of my friends were asleep, i started to go down on his crotch until i reached the penis partly. ive done it 3 times. i thought he did not notice. but in the morning he told me i someone touched his dick and he tole me that it was me. another question started, why did he not stop me again?

my problem is, my feelings for him is getting stronger, and i am starting to get jealous whenever he goes with my other friend whom i think is gay too.

How can i reach out to him?
 
You could write him a letter, so to keep it to him so he can react in his own way.

Be patient, try to let your feelings show, make him dinner, take him places and just take it slow.
 
Be strong and tell him you like him face to face.

Why do you sleep together?
 
we were just hangin out with some other of my friends. and all of us tend to sleep in one room in either of my friends house. it just happened that i slept beside him.
 
Considering your location, maybe he is afraid to come out because of the way gays are treated in Islamic culture. You have told him of your feelings which is rather brave but possibly dangerous. Maybe, you and your friend should go somewhere private to talk about how you enjoy his company and how great it would be if you two could get to know more about each other. Then, you can talk to him about his feeling and how you feel close to him and so on. There is no need to rush. You should find out how he feels about life and gay people and make sure that you are not misinterpreting his preferences.

By the way, it's not a good idea to physically explore someone else without their consent. It can get you in a lot of trouble.
 
I go with snerdguy, it would be appropriate to keep this private given the fact gay men are still not accepted well in Islamic countries.
 
well to tell you the truth, im not from an islamic community. im in a christian country. hehe.... (Philippines)

but thank you anyway, i think i got a glimpse of what to do now.
 
I hope your problem is solved !
 
all-time classic gay story... Well but at leats u're a bit lucky that u're still got friends and it's okay for them to hangout with u..
 
and by the way, i recently admitted to him that i still love him. im still hoping that someday, my dreams would come true. I want him to be happy with his current girlfriend, but not to be rude or something, i have a feeling that they will not last.
 
he said that i should get a hold on myself. he said that i should get over him. so i said to him that all im asking now is that well still be friends. after that he went to his hometown and will be back this june for enrollment. we havent really had any communication recently. but he wasnt he shocked when i told him.
 
There are more nuances in every human relationship than there are species on the planet. For example, it's possible that he's gay but can't come to terms with it, or is afraid to. If so, you're running a risk if you try to push him through that hurdle, because he's got deeper issues to tackle than just your relationship.

It's also possible that he's just not attracted to you, or straight, and his reaction so far has been affected by the fact that he really likes you as a friend and doesn't know how to respond to the situation in a way that won't push you apart.

Either way it sounds like he's responded in a healthy, level-headed way, and asked you to try to move on. Whatever his situation, you owe it to him to try to respect that. I know from experience that doing so can be one of the deepest pains you'll feel in life. Hope you get through it ok.
 
you have a point though, were still friends now and even though im hoping a bit, im not planning to push through or force myself anyhow. im contented and happy that were still friends.
 
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