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Meatpie
07-08-09, 06:20 PM
Up until a few weeks ago I succesfully managed to hide my lust for dead guys from my family.

But I was stupid enough to leave on a vacation with friends and leave my PC unprotected.

My father hacked into my computer while I was away and saw the dead guys.

Autopsy, murder, beheaded dude - everything.

Tonight he told mom in front of me.

I want to puke.

"There are so many corpses on your PC," he said.

He said he will send me to a mental clinic or call the police and send me to jail.

I now know what Eric felt like when his parents found out.

Its so devastating, I too want to kill myself.

They use the fact that they know to bully you, threaten you and take advanatage of you.

I have to live with my parents because I can't afford to pay for anything.

My granny buys me things like food and clothes and shit and pays the bills and that's it.

She is my only hope. But she is 80 and may soon die, if something happens to her I have no idea what I am gonna do in a country where there are no jobs, no prospects, no nothing.

My friends dumped me since I lost my job.

I used to have a great life - parties, booze and sex every night, you can check back my posts if you won't believe me.

But since I became unemployed I've become isolated.

I need to talk with someone and you guys are the only friends I can talk about these things.

roadkill
07-08-09, 06:23 PM
Well maybe it's time to leave home.
Start a new life.
Go and find a new country and place to live.

If they know that you were going for that job at the morgue,
You can always lie and tell them it's training material to get use to looking
at dead ppl w.o getting sick. (just an idea)

Meatpie
07-08-09, 06:36 PM
I left home when I was 18. I moved to another city and was entirely on my own.

I attended lectures at the university and got a job. I was on my own. I managed a team in a large company. I got a home, got a boyfriend, I really was doing quite well.

Had great fun!

But all good things come to an end.

From 2008 onwards things have started going downhill.

My job no longer seemed interesting, my necrophilia worsened.

Broke up with partner. I became unemployed and couldn't pay my bills.

I moved in with granny. My parents have another house but sometimes they spend a lot of time here too when the weather is bad.

My sister is the same.

She and her boyfriend lived in Sofia but both unemployed and not beeing able to find jobs they moved in with their parents.

They can't afford anything and because they live in different cities they can't even see each other even for single shag.

Neither has money to travel, pay for a hotel, let alone rent an apartment.

deaddirty
07-08-09, 06:40 PM
Ouch, Pieman,that sounds like one bad day! Bet you wanted the ground to open up and swallow you! For god's sake don't do anything bad to tyourdelf m|eaty, you know you've got plenty of friends here. Maybe time o move out from your parents, maybe even try the States, or one of the EU countries if they're easier to get into - saw Arrow was sending you plenty of info.
You take care, Meaptie

deaddirty
07-08-09, 06:43 PM
What were you studying at University? Even if you didn't finish the course, might still be a good lead-in for a job (or even Uni in another country).

Entilzha
07-08-09, 07:00 PM
Damn Pieman, that is one HORRIBLE setback and real DEGRADING.

No one should be treated like that!!

I wish you strength, luck and a good night's rest.
I wished I could wave a magic wand and take all your problems away, but I cannot.

I will be looking for ways to help you out.

Meatpie
07-08-09, 07:15 PM
What were you studying at University? Even if you didn't finish the course, might still be a good lead-in for a job (or even Uni in another country).

I graduated with excellent results, I was the only dude who got an excellent result on the final history exam.

We had a visiting professor from University of California, Berkeley.

I've graduated in media & journalism.

Immediately I took up a job in a large media outlet and they even promoted me as an executive editor.

I managed a team and there I learnt how to build websites. I wrote news articles for the BBC, people called us from all over the world to get information. I had contacts in London with some nice people, they invited us there so that out team could learn from the best...I never got to that.

I know the Prime minister and other important people here...including the chief of the forensic institute.

Yet, here I am - unemployed & confused...even my friends dumped me.

My necrophilia fucked up my life in a terrible way, I lost interest in my job and went straight to the morgue. Stupid I know but I needed to try it.

Luckily, they offered me the job immediately, gave me documents but I couldn't do it because of the 100 rotting bodies in the basement.

Now tell me friend, what is this?

You know me, we have been together on th eintetrnet for years.

Never imagined I would come to this.

Darkside
07-08-09, 07:30 PM
The first thing I would ask is to your father, what the hell did he hack in to your computer for?, you are a grown man and it's none of his bussines what you look at in your private life.
As for the threats of having you sectioned, it is very doubtfull that he would actually be ablde to do this without medical assistance or without a phyciatric report. if you have never harmed youself or anyone else to fill your desires, then it is certain he won't be able to have you locked away in an institution (well thats how it works in the UK)
As for the police, you have't broken any laws. Remind your father that if he does go to the police all his friends , family and work collegues will get to here about it and that the actions of the children are always viewed as being in some way the fault of the parents, does he want every one to think that he must also have these feelings and desires,
GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION.
While this recession goes on we are all finding it hard, but THE GOOD TIMES WILL RETURN it's just a matter of hanging in there and riding out the storm.
If you parents were truely upset and serious about thier threats , they would have thrown you out of the house by now, they haven't so although shocked and confused, they obviously still love you.
Friends that dissapear when the money and fun runs out are not realy friends and you are better off without them.
Hang on in there , we are your friends here, we may not be able to meet, but we are more reliable than all of those so called friends and prety boys that you have met in the past.
DON'T LET THE FUCKERS GRIND YOU DOWN, YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT.

ArrowMan
07-08-09, 07:37 PM
Oh Pie...

This is so awful ! But as the Chinese say in their language ... a CRISIS means AN OPPORTUNITY.
I will contact you privately about this.

Meatpie
07-08-09, 07:40 PM
DON'T LET THE FUCKERS GRIND YOU DOWN, YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT.

I aint worth shit.

I should have listened to you but I am a pussy. Should have given the morgue job a fucking try. I would have been able to pay my bills and live in my own apartment now, not having to rely on granny and meeting my parents.

I ran into debt Dark, they send us letters that if I don't pay the bills they will take me to court.

I paid but got even more fucked up.

My dad keeps threatening me but is physically weaker than me so its mainly verbal abuse.

roadkill
07-08-09, 07:40 PM
No Disrespect your posting Darkside.

But I don't think it would be fruitful to asking his dad what the Fuck you're doing on my computer. it's his parents house and they pretty much can do whatever they want. (as a matter a fact, I'll bet you 100 L that is where the arguement will go).

My 2 cents is. Time for Plan B. (moving out and finding a new life)

Meatpie
07-08-09, 07:43 PM
I already told my dad what Dark said.

I told him what I do with my PC and what I enjoy is entirely my business and that I've never touched his computer.

roadkill
07-08-09, 07:46 PM
Yeah well. Do they know your Gay?

I know that might be mood pt right now, but it could make things worse.

Meatpie
07-08-09, 07:50 PM
I think they know now because dad also opened up my porn folder.

He said, he seen lots of naked dudes on my PC.

Terrible, isn't it?

Do your parents know?

roadkill
07-08-09, 07:52 PM
Oh yeah.

Why do you think I'm living in France and doing this kind of work?

Meatpie
07-08-09, 07:53 PM
I see. You are in a much better situation then.

How did you tell them? Or they found out gay porn on your PC?

lol

Darkside
07-08-09, 07:54 PM
You tried the morgue job, didn't like it , don't think about going back.
Something will turn up it always does, it just takes time, whcich we all have plenty of.
As for the debt thing , everyone i know has debts, and we have all had threatening letters from time to time, it is normal proceedure for the credit companies to threaten court, but is very unusual for them to go that way as they know it is very unlikely they will recover all of the money.
In time you will get back on your feet, (we all will) then you can get your own place and then decide who in your family and friends has stuck by you at your time of need and who deserves to be kept close and in contact with, those who didn't suport you properly you can now tell to go fuck themselves. After all this shit is over you will be a much stronger and wiser person.
GIVE IT TIME.

roadkill
07-08-09, 07:56 PM
They saw me kissing a BF when I came home. It was very late at night and I didn't think they would still be up.

roadkill
07-08-09, 07:58 PM
You tried the morgue job, didn't like it , don't think about going back.
Something will turn up it always does, it just takes time, whcich we all have plenty of.
As for the debt thing , everyone i know has debts, and we have all had threatening letters from time to time, it is normal proceedure for the credit companies to threaten court, but is very unusual for them to go that way as they know it is very unlikely they will recover all of the money.
In time you will get back on your feet, (we all will) then you can get your own place and then decide who in your family and friends has stuck by you at your time of need and who deserves to be kept close and in contact with, those who didn't suport you properly you can now tell to go fuck themselves. After all this shit is over you will be a much stronger and wiser person.
GIVE IT TIME.

No disrespect, DarkS(lord),

Plan for a backup still.

Meatpie
07-08-09, 08:01 PM
You tried the morgue job, didn't like it , don't think about going back.



I liked the morgue I got a boner.

But the conditions were awful.

I have a question for you Dark, if you were me, in my situation would you take it or leave it?


They saw me kissing a BF when I came home. It was very late at night and I didn't think they would still be up.

Sweet. What happened next?

Darkside
07-08-09, 08:11 PM
To be totaly honest what's right for me may not be right for you.
Yes Roadkill is right, move out etc, but you will have to wait for the employment conditions to improve.
As for the morgue job, I would take it, but I am realy not bothered by horrific sights and smells (worked on farms and in butchers) so although the smells realy disgust me if i was in a morgue the chance of getting my hands on a nice fresh undamaged piece of meat would be worth all of the sights and sounds that disgusted me. Some people find it very hard to switch of thier emotions and thoughts, i'm luck i have no problem in ignoring things that i don't want to see/feel.

roadkill
07-08-09, 08:15 PM
I liked the morgue I got a boner.

But the conditions were awful.

I have a question for you Dark, if you were me, in my situation would you take it or leave it?



Sweet. What happened next?

Well it got dramatic, like a soap opera, I left and stay at my BF for a week.
My dad and I are still not talking.


How did you do a double quote?

Meatpie
07-08-09, 08:20 PM
Ahhh Dark, you lucky bugger.

I so envy you.

Wish I was strong as you.

I think you are brutal because life has been brutal with you.

I mean you lost your parents so young, bro, friends.

Still you soldier on and I haven't heard you complain, I am such a stupid weak pussy.

I regret my fucking decision.

Do you know that I signed my papers and went to the morgue to give them to the staff but got worked up.

I spend two hours in front of the morgue building and I couldn't take a decision.

I regret it.

I feel fucked.


Well it got dramatic, like a soap opera, I left and stay at my BF for a week.


How did you do a double quote?

Good you left. What happened next.

To double quote click on the "multi quot" button after the edit button.

Click on every message you want to quote. It should turn orange.

Then click on "reply"

Darkside
07-08-09, 08:25 PM
Not lucky , life is hard , it makes you hard, sometimes it would be good to be more sympathetic, i can be towards others, but have just come to terms with the fact that life doesn't give you what you always want, so just make the best of what you do have and always live life with hope.
Sometimes i am a little too hard with my comments to those around me, but they know i mean what i say even if they don't want to here the answer i give.
It's not a matter of being strong or weak, we are all different (thank fuck) we all cope in different ways, thats what makes life so interesting.

roadkill
07-08-09, 08:25 PM
Not much. My dad still doesn't reallly speak to me.
My mom got closer to me and is understanding over it.

I decided to leave for Europe with some friends and have been living here since.

My parents don't know I'm necro and still don't know my Darkest Secret.

Meatpie
07-08-09, 08:28 PM
Not lucky , life is hard , it makes you hard, sometimes it would be good to be more sympathetic, i can be towards others, but have just come to terms with the fact that life doesn't give you what you always want, so just make the best of what you do have and always live life with hope.
Sometimes i am a little too hard with my comments to those around me, but they know i mean what i say even if they don't want to here the answer i give.
It's not a matter of being strong or weak, we are all different (thank fuck) we all cope in different ways, thats what makes life so interesting.

Men are supposed to be strong.

You are lucky because you are strong emotionally and physically. I love guys like that.

I am physically well-built but weak in the fucking head.

I can't take decisions easily because I am a wussy.

I should have given the job a chance.

They give you one week off every month.

Pay is 250 euros a month.

How is one supposed to survive with that money?


Well it got dramatic, like a soap opera, I left and stay at my BF for a week.
My dad and I are still not talking.


How did you do a double quote?


Not much. My dad still doesn't reallly speak to me.
My mom got closer to me and is understanding over it.

I decided to leave for Europe with some friends and have been living here since.

My parents don't know I'm necro and still don't know my Darkest Secret.

You made the right decision. Was it tough? Did your friends help you out?

Seems mothers tend to be mother understanding of homo boys, fathers find it hard to take their sons are faggots.

Make sure your parents never find out you are necro, it could ruin your relationship altogether.

Darkside
07-08-09, 08:33 PM
Roadkill , glad to here you are still incontact with some of your family, some of the older generations can't and won't ever accept that some of us are a bit different.
But at least you have come to terms with who and what you are, in the end that's all that realy maters. As for the necro part, well very few of us have ever admited that to anyone they know, obviously outsiders to this forum would just not understand, some things are better kept hidden.
Those who realy love you will accept and stand by you no matter what, but unfortunatly it is not always a good idea to put this loyalty to the test

roadkill
07-08-09, 08:33 PM
250 EU a month??

by my calculations, that what you get in week for unemployment in the US.
And according to the US news I'm hearing with extentions of Unemployment from the Gov't,
you can be on Unemployment for almost a year right now.

ArrowMan
07-08-09, 08:35 PM
Pie...

I sent you a PM. You, in my opinion, need not be here chatting but GETTING OUT of there NOW. I have shared privately with you my thoughts....your call.

Knowing what I know about your country and its customs, and your parents (dad)...I would GET OUT NOW.

No more chatting here....START packing and GET OUT .

You have options...I would not hang around there and just "see what happens."

BIG RISK ... remember ERIC ???

GET OUT . That is what I would do, given the opportunity you have been given by certain buds of yours here.

I would GET OUT . NOW. YOUR call.

Darkside
07-08-09, 08:42 PM
Meatpie - yes men are ment to be strong , but i know a couple of straight guys who are real head cases (slang for very physically strong, always getting in to fights ) real nutters, but to put it bluntly are emotional wrecks ( that's why they do all the macho fighting shit.) They are over emotional and when you talk to them on thier own, especialy after they have drunk too much and they can't hide thier true inner feelings ,you find out just how "weak" they are
Outward strenght does not mean inner strength.
I think EVERYONE on this site is far more in control with thier emotions and much stronger than they give themselves credit for. If straight guys had to put up with the crap we have had to endure over the years they would have all topped themselves.The world would only have gay necros left ( Not a bad idea - if only)

Meatpie
07-08-09, 08:47 PM
Those who realy love you will accept and stand by you no matter what, but unfortunatly it is not always a good idea to put this loyalty to the test

I agree. I could have kept is hidden, their problem they hacked into my PC.


250 EU a month??

by my calculations, that what you get in week for unemployment in the US.
And according to the US news I'm hearing with extentions of Unemployment from the Gov't,
you can be on Unemployment for almost a year right now.

Yup. That's the most tragic part. Even if you want to work, want to study and you get a degree you still can't surive and have a normal life.

One of the reasons why my cousin killed himself last year. Or maybe they killed him I dunno.

Its such a sad story its killing me.


Pie...

I sent you a PM. You, in my opinion, need not be here chatting but GETTING OUT of there NOW. I have shared privately with you my thoughts....your call.

Knowing what I know about your country and its customs, and your parents (dad)...I would GET OUT NOW.

No more chatting here....START packing and GET OUT .

You have options...I would not hang around there and just "see what happens."

BIG RISK ... remember ERIC ???

GET OUT . That is what I would do, given the opportunity you have been given by certain buds of yours here.

I would GET OUT . NOW. YOUR call.

Let's not overdramatize. Yes, I remember Eric and I think about him everyday.

Poor dude, if only he knew I would be going through the same shit. We could have helped each other.

I so regret I did nothing to help him.

My father is a brute, he threatens me. He is also bad to mom.

"You are gonna suffer," he said.

How can you say this to your child.

I can find no solution to my problems.

Its a vicious circle.

Low living standards -> Unemployment -> Can't leave parent and be on your own -> You try to take up a job but its disgusting and low pay -> Back to parents and living on your granny's pension.

On top of this all your friends dump you because you can no longer allow to go to clubs etc, they are using you.



Meatpie - yes men are ment to be strong , but i know a couple of straight guys who are real head cases (slang for very physically strong, always getting in to fights ) real nutters, but to put it bluntly are emotional wrecks ( that's why they do all the macho fighting shit.) They are over emotional and when you talk to them on thier own, especialy after they have drunk too much and they can't hide thier true inner feelings ,you find out just how "weak" they are
Outward strenght does not mean inner strength.
I think EVERYONE on this site is far more in control with thier emotions and much stronger than they give themselves credit for. If straight guys had to put up with the crap we have had to endure over the years they would have all topped themselves.The world would only have gay necros left ( Not a bad idea - if only)

Thats why I said you are lucky - you are strong both physically and emotionally.

I try to be tough but sometimes its just too much.

What would you do in my situation?

I need advice.

Darkside
07-08-09, 09:01 PM
I am afraid you are going to have to ride out the sistuation, friends that left you were not real friends, it's hard to face but you are better off without friends like that. If there is no where else to go at the monent, grannys, boyfriend ,othere relation than i am afraid obviously you will have to stay at home for the time being untill the money situation improves ( if i had the money i would pay for you to scotland and get you a job here - but i am also skint at the moment) (Skint - no spare money, just getting by)
As for your threatening father , can you take him in a fight? if it comes to that. if you think you can then tell him to back off or else, he might threaten to throw you out, but let him know you wont go.
My adoptive father tried that one with me once , i let him know that there was no way he was putting me out on the street and that if he tried he would be so very sorry, the threat of what i might do worked, so he backed down and from then on never caused me any trouble.

roadkill
07-08-09, 09:06 PM
Men are supposed to be strong.

You are lucky because you are strong emotionally and physically. I love guys like that.

I am physically well-built but weak in the fucking head.

I can't take decisions easily because I am a wussy.

I should have given the job a chance.

They give you one week off every month.

Pay is 250 euros a month.

How is one supposed to survive with that money?

You made the right decision. Was it tough? Did your friends help you out?

Seems mothers tend to be mother understanding of homo boys, fathers find it hard to take their sons are faggots.

Make sure your parents never find out you are necro, it could ruin your relationship altogether.


Oh my secret is darker than that.

Yeah funny thing is mom had this idea that I was fashionable sensiable.

Dad's been a Ass since. My friends help as they could.

Meatpie
07-08-09, 09:09 PM
I am afraid you are going to have to ride out the sistuation, friends that left you were not real friends, it's hard to face but you are better off without friends like that. If there is no where else to go at the monent, grannys, boyfriend ,othere relation than i am afraid obviously you will have to stay at home for the time being untill the money situation improves ( if i had the money i would pay for you to scotland and get you a job here - but i am also skint at the moment) (Skint - no spare money, just getting by)
As for your threatening father , can you take him in a fight? if it comes to that. if you think you can then tell him to back off or else, he might threaten to throw you out, but let him know you wont go.
My adoptive father tried that one with me once , i let him know that there was no way he was putting me out on the street and that if he tried he would be so very sorry, the threat of what i might do worked, so he backed down and from then on never caused me any trouble.


I would never hurt my parents.

As I said its mostly verbal abuse. He pucnhes me from time to time as a joke, I hate it.

Sorry to hear you were having a tough time with your adoptive father, at least you pushed the fucker back into place.

Ohh how I wish I knew I guy like that in real life.

There are people I can go to, of course. But what will I tell them? And how long should I stay?

Its massive unemployment here, what if I can't get a job.

At least in my granny's house we have a garden and we grow our own vegetables and we have fruit.


Oh my secret is darker than that.


Really? And whats sicker than that? Are you a serial killer in Paris?

Have you killed someone?

ArrowMan
07-08-09, 09:19 PM
:sm (38):
I am afraid you are going to have to ride out the sistuation, friends that left you were not real friends, it's hard to face but you are better off without friends like that. If there is no where else to go at the monent, grannys, boyfriend ,othere relation than i am afraid obviously you will have to stay at home for the time being untill the money situation improves ( if i had the money i would pay for you to scotland and get you a job here - but i am also skint at the moment) (Skint - no spare money, just getting by)
As for your threatening father , can you take him in a fight? if it comes to that. if you think you can then tell him to back off or else, he might threaten to throw you out, but let him know you wont go.
My adoptive father tried that one with me once , i let him know that there was no way he was putting me out on the street and that if he tried he would be so very sorry, the threat of what i might do worked, so he backed down and from then on never caused me any trouble.

Dark...

YES, I understand what you are telling the Pie. BUT...BULGARIA is a dark place in terms of its government.....it is very harsh. It is NO SCOTLAND.

What if his dad calls the authorities in ? He has told Pie that is he is going to make a lot of trouble for him ! The cops there, OMG ... or the shrinks there :sm (19):

I fear for Pie. I fear that his dad WILL harm him. REALLY. Or call in the cops/shrinks. They are very likely to harm him, IT IS BULGARIA ... not that far removed in many ways from the old USSR's STATE POLICE...who were a whole fucking like THE GESTAPO.

READ THIS about the BULGARIAN POLICE, everybody:
http://www.setimes.com/cocoon/setimes/xhtml/en_GB/features/setimes/features/2009/02/26/feature-01

Pie is in REAL DANGER. NO SHIT, FACT. FACT.

He does not have a Scotland or a UK or a France or a USA or The Netherlands now to support him. He lives in a place where POLICE BRUTALITY and BAD THINGS HAPPEN all the FUCKING TIME.

WAKE UP, yous guys. YOU are evaluating his situation from your own SAFE HAVENS.

IT IS NOT SAFE WHERE HE FUCKING IS ! Neither with his dad who is threatening him now or the police there.

HE is in BIG TROUBLE and he in my informed, educated opinion has only one viable choice: GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE, FUCKING ACE NOW !!!!!!!!!!
:sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38):
:sm (22)::sm (22)::sm (22)::sm (22)::sm (22)::sm (22)::sm (22)::facepalm:

roadkill
07-08-09, 09:21 PM
Money to travel.

Meatpie
07-08-09, 09:25 PM
Shit happens everywhere Arrow, not just in Bulgaria.

My dad is sleeping now, he won't hurt me.

I am locked up in my room.

BTW what the article says is true.

Darkside
07-08-09, 09:30 PM
If it's only verbal abuse (yes that can hurt - just never show that it does) then stay put till you find a job you like.
Going to stay with others is usually only a good idea for a very short time, as you know living with someone, is a lot different from a short term visit, but it might be a good idea to have a short "holiday" with someone to allow your parents to cool down, remember this time lock your bloody computer.
The unemployment is bad everywhere, I;ve just had another pay cut, that's the way thay are doing it in the U.K. insted of making people redundant, cut the working hours or cut the pay. We all know and expect that by the turn of the year things will have started to pick up and will get better.
Obviously you love your parents and I am glad to here you would never hurt them, see you do have some luck, you have obviously have had a good relationship with them over the years.(told you not every thing in your life was bad)
I was starting to think i was the way i am because of my upbringing , i was wrong again, no suprise thier then lol. I must be gay necro because i want to be ... yahoo...too right.
Basicaly Meatpie things will get better, you think too deeply about life and look for answers when there arn't any. accept what happens and live in hope, things have a way of working out. They always have for me ( and i have been in a lot more trouble and shit than mentioned in any previous posts- and that stuff is not open for disscusiion here) and I am sure they will for you.

ArrowMan
07-08-09, 09:33 PM
Shit happens everywhere Arrow, not just in Bulgaria.

My dad is sleeping now, he won't hurt me.

I am locked up in my room.

BTW what the article says is true.

I know it is true, Pie !!

So your dad is sleeping NOW...well, what happens when he wakes up? IF he decides to call in those FUCKING brutal POLICE there??

And if that happens, from there, then what becomes of you ??

http://www.setimes.com/cocoon/setimes/xhtml/en_GB/features/setimes/features/2009/02/26/feature-01

http://thumbnails14.imagebam.com/4463/266dcd44629319.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/266dcd44629319)
OMG !!! :sm (19)::sm (19)::sm (19):

Well, I am not you, I am not there, your call to make.

But I greatly fucking fear for you staying in that household, with your angry dad, who TOLD you he is going to make BIG TROUBLE for you.

You know what I think you should do: GET THE FUCK OUT of THERE NOW !

:sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38)::sm (38):
:sm (22)::sm (22)::sm (22)::sm (22)::facepalm::facepalm:

deaddirty
07-08-09, 10:56 PM
Meatpie, I'm not ging to even try giving you advice, because I don't know what the reality is with the police, the law, or the mental health system in Bulgaria - or with your parents. For what it's worh, my guess is that if your dad was going to go to the police or the shrinks, he would have done it straight away and not confronted you - so I doubt if you are in immediate danger, but that's your call.
But clearly you're not in a good situation, and living with parents who are liable to hack into your computer is no way to live! That would be unacceptable for your privacy and independence, even of there was only vanilla on the computer!
Maybe it's time to turn a problem into an opportunity, get out of your parents', maybe get out of Bulgaria. How would you stand for claiming benefits in other EU countries? And are there countries where any of your experiences and skills should get you a job quickly? I'm not thinking just of the mortuary/undertaker stuff (though those might be the easiest jobs to get - a lot of peope won't touch them) - you've got a higher education (not sure if you've actually got a degree, or what in, but even better if you have), and you're obviously good at languages (is there a need for Bulgarian/english interpreters, in Bulgaria, UK, or maybe Brussels?).
Hang on in there!

deaddirty
07-08-09, 11:20 PM
Not much. My dad still doesn't reallly speak to me.
My mom got closer to me and is understanding over it.

I decided to leave for Europe with some friends and have been living here since.



That's really hard! My parents are both dead now, but I came out to them years before they died. My dad was fine about it - didn't quite know how to talk about it, but he was from that generation of englishmen that didn't know how to talk about anything emotional. I was always close to him, and if anything coming out helped that. My mum never quite accepted it, but she was OK about it - that was always the difficult relationship for me, and knowing i was gay certainly didn't make it any more difficult. And my stepmother simply asks when I'm going to find the right man to settle down with!
I've never come out about the necro interest to anyone offline, but then to me it's something that's only online anyway - I've got no serious interest in doing anything with a dead guy for real.
Not sure if it was Roadkill or Meatpie that siad about friends not sticking round. I've had a bit of that - the last few years have been hard for money and health, and I've noticed that quite a few casual friends have disappeared. But the real friends stick around, and help out when they can - they're not all fairweather friends. And I try to do the same for them.

Little.Boy.Rot
08-08-09, 03:23 AM
Lol
You say your tough ?
Take him on then if he tries to pull anything funny?

Entilzha
08-08-09, 09:12 AM
I agree with Arrow!

You should get out of there, go on a short vacation, away from all of that terrible going on's, and maybe seeing another country and people may be good for you.

You know where to find me, and money will not be a problem.

Let me know asap!!

Meatpie
08-08-09, 12:59 PM
Thanks all for your comments.

It was a lot better today, my parents are finally off to their house.

Also, my sister got a call and they offered her a job in a law firm.

I am begging her to move out with her temporarily, we will share expenses but all she cares about is her ugly boyfriend, not her bro.

Pay is 200 euros a month.

That's around $290.

She said she doesn't see how she is gonna survive with that money and she sees no poing in working. But much better than staying with me at home and living off granny's pension.

Granny's pension is 50 euros a month.

Even if you work you can barely make ends meet, thats the real problem here.

Not that were are stupid or lazy.

And I have a more serious problem.

My necrophilia is fucking bad, I no longer find any job interesting or exciting....except morgue work.

All I want is to be around dead guys.

Its heaven. Its bliss. Going to that morgue, seeing those naked dead guys on slabs was the most beautiful moment of my life.

Some were stiched up and washed, others had their skulls split open and one dude had his brain in his abdomen.

Morgue work is insanely hot but those fucking rotters are a nightmare. And there is always the risk of cutting yourself or getting infected.

You want to be strong and fight it but rotting flesh is so repuslive, the smell is so bad your stomach wants to puke.

One corpse was so rotten, you could hardly tell these were human remains.

Its a tough choice.

Morgues are for brave people to work in. Easy to watch an autopsy but pulling someones internal organs in a single block from the throat down to the cock is not easy, esp if the patient is morbidly obese.

ArrowMan
08-08-09, 03:47 PM
Glad to hear things on the home front have improved for you, in terms of your parents.

ausar-anpu
08-08-09, 05:21 PM
Well meatpea I'm a witch is my religion and I can made a work four you.
Put I need that you wand.
The work that I do is for protection for you. It is frits for you

ausar-anpu
08-08-09, 05:32 PM
Sorry is my corrector. that change the word but i think what you understand.

Meatpie
08-08-09, 05:56 PM
I understand yes, thank you ausar-anpu, what does your nickname mean?

ausar-anpu
08-08-09, 08:01 PM
ausar _ osiris
anpu -- anubis

ausar-anpu
08-08-09, 08:03 PM
Is Egypt antique

ausar-anpu
08-08-09, 08:10 PM
Ok I going to write in Spanish, is more easy for me and you put traducing.
Is ok?

ausar-anpu
08-08-09, 08:26 PM
OK...This night I’m going to do de work. I suppose you said mi yes.
You only need said me and may Goods thanks.

useless bum
09-08-09, 02:21 AM
I guess I was lucky that I left my home country and came to the US. I have a feeling they always suspect me of being gay, which I have never told them.

My "thing" started, well, I should say I started to JO when I was 10 to images of dead squids. I am not 100% sure if they knew anything about this, but one time, my father found parts from motorcycle accidents. I was chastised.

Having a physical distance somewhat helped my relationship with parents. I guess I am not on that good term now, and I don't have to deal with them and do not talk to them. Less stress to deal with, I guess.

You should consider come to the US.

Meatpie
09-08-09, 07:08 AM
Where are you from originally?

useless bum
10-08-09, 01:58 AM
Where are you from originally?

Make a guess! :D

Seriously, you would be amazed how easy it is sometimes to get some documents if those are for a research purpose.

Meatpie
10-08-09, 10:15 AM
Germany.

useless bum
11-08-09, 01:23 AM
Germany.

Nope. Anyway, things are getting better for ya. A small jewel I found today:
http://www.senzacolonne.it/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=2563:un-giovane-centauro-perde-la-vita-a-torino&catid=88:cronaca-nazionale&Itemid=282

http://www.cronacaqui.it/news-si-schianta-contro-una-smart--muore-centauro-di-trentanni_24904.html

No gore, but this hot Italian died in a motorcycle crash.

Meatpie
11-08-09, 02:01 PM
Jesus, are you from Italy?

You love dead squids, don't you.

That one was absolutely cute almost like some fucking model boy.

roadkill
11-08-09, 05:01 PM
I guess I was lucky that I left my home country and came to the US. I have a feeling they always suspect me of being gay, which I have never told them.

My "thing" started, well, I should say I started to JO when I was 10 to images of dead squids. I am not 100% sure if they knew anything about this, but one time, my father found parts from motorcycle accidents. I was chastised.

Having a physical distance somewhat helped my relationship with parents. I guess I am not on that good term now, and I don't have to deal with them and do not talk to them. Less stress to deal with, I guess.

You should consider come to the US.

Squid? As in the thing that had a few arms, from the fish market and from the Ocean ?

Meatpie
11-08-09, 05:28 PM
That's it.

useless bum
12-08-09, 12:31 AM
Squid? As in the thing that had a few arms, from the fish market and from the Ocean ?

There was a thread that I started. Yes, I love these molluscs that ride sportbikes with no helmets, etc. :D

Pieman, squids are all I care. Nothing else. I do like "some" of chopper riding types (e.g., Jesse James).

verlup1
12-08-09, 02:54 AM
Squid? As in the thing that had a few arms, from the fish market and from the Ocean ?
Ha! that's what I thought at first too. I did get aroused when I killed a fish once though. I was only a kid and I felt so bad about it that I can't even kill bugs.
As to your problem Meatpie, I totally missed this thread! I'm sorry you went through all that. It sounds terrible, but it seems like things are improving? I hope things keep getting better. My parents found stashes of war, crime and terrorism pictures back when I lived at home. I never had to worry about them finding gay porn because my collection was overwhelmingly of dead guys. My mom threw out some amazing stuff I had from Spanish newspapers and Newsweek, etc. She thinks of me as a morbid person. I'm trying to hide as much from her still as I can. They don't know anything about me as far as I can tell. I hope your dad has been leaving you alone. My dad couldn't care less about any perverted fetishes I might have. He'd probably keep the secret for me if he knew. It's my mom who's the judgmental tyrant. She's small but can turn the strongest warrior into a quivering sobbing mess with her evil tongue. Good luck with your dad Meatpie.
I feel totally ashamed of being necro when people find my stuff accidentally. One friend who's gay found a picture on my laptop of a dead American soldier from Iraq. He gasped and said "Is he dead!" I replied "oh yeah that's from a movie I looked up, it must've downloaded snaphots onto my computer". I was so embarrassed. A coworker, who's also gay, found my Alarma magazine that I had hidden within the pages of a fashion magazine so I could look without anyone knowing. He was all disgusted and horrified, I said "someone threw it out in the subway so I picked it up out of curiosity". Those are some of the lame excuses I've made up, even to those that must know what it's like having secret desires. They must know by now but don't say anything.

dogfood
12-08-09, 03:42 AM
I used to like helping my dad gut fish when I was little.

My bf found a pic of a naked guy on my pc and got mad at me. I told him he was dead though cuz he didn't notice that part...

He was fine after that. He's quite strange sometimes.... But hell, I'm an anime and video game geek, we fucking love gore and violence. I'm not ashamed of it.

Anyways, sucks for you Mr. Meatpie. Best you can do is just have an open talk with him, also get him to understand that "professional help" kinda sucks and would be a waste of time. How could he pay for it anyways though?

Little.Boy.Rot
12-08-09, 04:12 AM
I doubt this, but that's me.
None the less. I'm a big gore/violence freak too.
Heh your bf sounds awesome.

Meatpie
12-08-09, 09:17 AM
He has stopped teasing me. For now.

Seems we are all doomed - sooner or later someone we know is gonna find out - parents, boyfriends...

What fucked up situations verlup.

I am not ashamed of who I am I just want to move out but will have to wait a few more months, than I am entirely on my own.

switchjv
21-08-09, 03:12 AM
sorry to hear about your situation. alot of people around me know what i am into. they just think i'm weird.

Meatpie
21-08-09, 05:50 PM
You have great people around you then.

How did they found out?

switchjv
22-08-09, 12:40 AM
You have great people around you then.

How did they found out?
Mostly people like my sister and family members. i've been sort of an outcast all my life and it was no surprise to them. the music i listened to, and the life i lived and live.

Meatpie
22-08-09, 09:23 AM
How old are you now?

My sister calls me a faggot.

Prince Of Pain
23-08-09, 12:34 AM
My deepest sympathy. There is no sting as sharp as rejection from one's parents.
Your situation reminds me of someone who made the news when she was discovered. It seems coming out was the best thing that ever happened to her, even though it cost her everything.

http://www.nokilli.com/sacto/karen-greenlee.htm
http://www.theweirdworldof.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/greenlee.gif

Imagine a rare snow leopard limps into your yard, pursued by a pack of dogs. How would you defend it! Fend for yourself just as aggressively, because you are one of a kind.

switchjv
23-08-09, 04:59 AM
How old are you now?

My sister calls me a faggot.
old enough. sorry, i think i'm old. 31 is not old is it?

Meatpie
23-08-09, 07:03 AM
31 is not old from a biological point of view. Its how we feel inside that defines our day-to-day experience.

I am 26 and feel old.

Bernkastel
04-08-12, 02:15 AM
You sound a lot like me Meatpie-sir.

I have to stay with my parents as I cannot afford to pay for anything myself at the moment. My social life is in ruins due to depression and a severe social anxiety disorder and I went for a long time feeling worthless.

However, you can either whine and moan about your current problems or you can do something about them - no easy task. However, there is always something you could do to improve your situation right?

For instance, I managed to get an interview for a job - no easy task where I am at the moment and - hopefully - in a couple of days I should hear some good news.

Lycanthrope
04-08-12, 06:40 AM
I wonder since this thread was first made, how has Meat Pie fared? I hope everything is alright now...

Bernkastel
04-08-12, 02:54 PM
I wonder since this thread was first made, how has Meat Pie fared? I hope everything is alright now...

Hmm...I wonder about that too Lycanthrope-sir. The sad thing is once someone remembers something - it is is very hard to un-remember it. His parents may be messed up for a while.

And as for how Meatpie-sir is doing, who knows. Confidence and self-esteem are a lot like mirrors. Once they shatter, it is hard to rebuild them without getting hurt more. Even then, they may not be rebuilt completely due to some shards being too tiny to pick up. Do you understand?

bestgore
28-08-12, 09:44 AM
What's your major in university?

Meatpie
28-08-12, 11:34 AM
Forensic medicine.

dead30something
28-08-12, 04:46 PM
It sucks overall, MP. I myself have a similar situation. I have been off and on employed since last year, and nothing stable. 16 working days left with the current job. Like you did, I live with my parents since I can't afford to move either(as much as I would like to). The few guys I talk to here are what keeps me going during the really bad days. Nobody I know knows I am gay or that I have an interest in dead guys, but I reckon they'd have the same reaction your parents did if they found out. The problem is universal, MP. Society is just too judgemental for it's own good, regardless of geographic location. In the meantime, shoot us members a message if you want to talk.

Meatpie
28-08-12, 08:02 PM
Thanks for all your replies guys and concern but this thread was posted nearly three years ago and it's irrelevant to the current situation.


. Nobody I know knows I am gay or that I have an interest in dead guys, but I reckon they'd have the same reaction your parents did if they found out.

That's sad & hard, you should meet up with other gay dudes in your area but don't tell anyone you are necro 99% of people will NOT understand so there is no point.

Will Scott
28-08-12, 09:06 PM
yes, perhaps now is the time for you to strike out on your own...your home situation sounds intolerable. i wish I was in a position to help you. you are young, strong, obviously very smart...you can make a life for yourself.

Will Scott
28-08-12, 09:10 PM
the more I think about your situation the more I think you need to get out before you find yourself in a situation were you do not have the freedom to make a move......feel free to write me privately if you wish

BLUECARE
29-08-12, 09:41 PM
very interesting stories meatpie,, iam not necro or something i just joined this group caused of my interest in creepy things,, iam a graduate of nursing so seeing dead or dying people is not big deal to me,, & iam now worked in one of facility in california,,people die in my hands several times.. when i was young iam scared with casket and dead.. but not anymore maybe because i see them most of the time now...

Meatpie
29-08-12, 09:57 PM
What kind of people usually die in your hands?

Any young dudes?

BLUECARE
30-08-12, 04:52 PM
mixed,, young men..children,baby.. most of the time older people

BLUECARE
30-08-12, 05:14 PM
few times young men die in my hands.. i remember 1 when i was nursing student & my assignment is in emergency .. their is this 21 year old guy a victim of car accident & we need to take off his pants to clean the wound.. he already dying so i hold his hands & tell him to fight but he ddnt make it.. iam sad cause his very good looking & fit.. & with a good size young weapon... & i need to do 2nd to 3rd look on that area..he..he

Meatpie
30-08-12, 05:41 PM
Do you have any images to share?

BLUECARE
30-08-12, 08:44 PM
thats long time ago when iam student,, that time iam not creepy.. & right now iam caring old people i dont think you interested seeing old dead men.. ha.ha.ha,, by the way meatpie u r cute...

useless bum
01-09-12, 01:27 AM
Forensic medicine.

So you went back to University. Congrats.