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jon_b
27-03-11, 08:41 PM
Real court transcripts about real autopsies with real attorneys questioning real doctors.....its unreal!!

> ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
> WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
> ATTORNEY: And Mr. xxxxx was dead at the time?
> WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished.

> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

Meatpie
28-03-11, 09:24 AM
:wdaphack:

JValdez
28-03-11, 03:08 PM
hehe

stustustugoo
28-03-11, 06:36 PM
LOL!!!!!!!

feettartar
29-03-11, 01:16 AM
i do so enjoy a fucking good laugh!

TheDurp
20-08-11, 07:44 AM
WIN

Mag-got cock
27-08-11, 09:57 PM
Ahahaha !!!! So funny !!! LOL XD XD XD

phyzzique
27-08-11, 10:42 PM
Real court transcripts about real autopsies with real attorneys questioning real doctors.....its unreal!!

> ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
> WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
> ATTORNEY: And Mr. xxxxx was dead at the time?
> WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished.

> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
A sick man walks into his doctor's office and sees his doctor. Man says "hi doc, how are you?" Doc says "good, but I got bad news for you." Man says "ok what is it?" Doc says "you have 6 months to live". Man says "I want another opinion!" Doc says "ok, your ugly too".

jon_b
28-08-11, 09:24 AM
A sick man walks into his doctor's office and sees his doctor. Man says "hi doc, how are you?" Doc says "good, but I got bad news for you." Man says "ok what is it?" Doc says "you have 6 months to live". Man says "I want another opinion!" Doc says "ok, your ugly too".

:hahahahha:

phyzzique
28-08-11, 03:02 PM
:hahahahha:
Thanks for everything Jon

jhall29
05-09-11, 10:34 AM
A sick man walks into his doctor's office and sees his doctor. Man says "hi doc, how are you?" Doc says "good, but I got bad news for you." Man says "ok what is it?" Doc says "you have 6 months to live". Man says "I want another opinion!" Doc says "ok, your ugly too".

:hahahahha: I've heard similar joke.

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

phyzzique
05-09-11, 02:51 PM
:hahahahha: I've heard similar joke.

A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
:hahahahha::hahahahha:

Pacific
06-09-11, 05:12 AM
Thanks. I appreciate the opportunity for some levity.

PiercedChest
06-09-11, 09:14 PM
Hilarious Jon, how much irony can these lawyers take?